Intertwined Destiny, Shared Fate
by xNightValkyrie
Summary: New captain of the 9th Division, she meets up with new friends and falls in love, many events stand in their way, will they be able to be together at the end? What is her past and how it would change her life? - IchigoxOC ***[HIATUS]***
1. Prologue

A/N : I've been correcting some story-wise mistakes, because I've found many many mistakes while re-reading my story. Also, I'm very sorry for the SLOW update, I've been practically squeezing out ideas for the story, but when it doesn't come, it doesn't. Thanks for reading! I'll do my best! =)

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The wind blew comfortably outside while all the captains and vice captains stood inside the 1st Division, waiting for the meeting to start. They all stood beside each other, following their Division's rank, with their vice captains behind them.

"I heard that they were going to introduce a new captain." The 8th Division's captain, Kyouraku Shunsui said.

"Should be about time! We have been missing three captains for a while!" Zaraki Kenpachi, the captain of the 11th Division, said loudly.

"Hm... I wonder which Division will be the lucky one?" the 8th Division captain asked as the door in front of the high ranked shinigamis cracked opened. The captain commander walked in and took his place, at the end of the two parallel lines that they made, which was face to the door he came in from.

"As you have just heard a few seconds ago, I will introduce a new captain to the 9th Division." As the captain commander said this, the door cracked open once again, and walked in a young girl, wearing the 9th Division's haori.

Most of the captains and vice captains gasped at the view of the girl, except for a few that only their eyes widened. The view was quite a shock, especially for the youngest captain and his subordinate in the room.

Flashbacks immediately flashed through his mind as he looked at the girl in front of him...


	2. Part 1

Everyone looked at the girl from head to toe, trying to shake their head off in the process of waking themselves up.

Her resemblance with Hitsugaya Toshiro frightened the captains and vice captains around her. She had short silver hair which grew longer in front and her silver blue eyes shone brightly, which showed a slight difference between them, and she was exactly the same height as Toshiro. She held her Zanpakuto at her right hand, instead of carrying it on her back. Whispers were exchanged immediately after the shinigamis has noticed their difference.

"Silence!" Shigekuni Yamamoto Genryuusai yelled, hitting his wooden cane on the floor. The room was completely filled with silence. "This is Hitsugaya Tsuyuki, the new captain of the 9th Division." Once again, gasps were heard after hearing the name. Toshiro just stood motionless, shock paralyzing his existence. "Please introduce yourselves."

"Soi Fon, 2nd Division's captain and head of Special Ops." The girl closest to the captain commander started.

"Unohana Retsu of the 4th Division, nice to meet you." The next one said, smiling warmly at Tsuyuki. It continued on and on like that, the new captain paid attention to all introductions, engraving all the names in her brain.

"H-Hitsugaya Toshiro, captain of the 10th Division." Both Hitsugayas were intensely looking at each other. The introductions that followed this one had no more importance for the young girl, as she didn't pay any more attention to them.

"Alright, this meeting is dismissed!" the elder yelled after every captain introduced themselves. He was the first one to leave, then after was Kuchiki Byakuya, and then the others slowly left one by one, but not without making comments in between them. At the end, only Tsuyuki, Toshiro, Matsumoto and Hisagi were left in the room, with the two captains staring intensely at each other and the two subordinates exchanging looks. Then the vice captains finally decided to withdraw. As soon as they disappeared, tears started pushing their way out of Tsuyuki's eyes as she tried her best to hold them back.

**Tsuyuki's POV**

I stood there, looking at him. I couldn't believe it. I never thought I'd see him again here, in Seireitei. Once the two vice captains, whose name I didn't listen to, left, I felt the tears fight their way out. I did my best to hold them in, but I lost, I was never good at it.

"I-I'm not dreaming... A-am I?" I said, tears streaming down my eyes. I kept looking at him, at this moment, I could see the care in his eyes. A little smile appeared at the corner of his lips.

"I hope not." He finally said. I immediately ran toward him and hugged him the tightest I could, with my small arms. I finally cracked down, letting the tears flow freely from my eyes, watering his haori at the same time.

"I-I missed you so much! I thought...! I thought I'd never see you again!" I cried. "Nii-san…" I felt his hand pat on my back.

"C'mon, don't cry, Tsuyuki. I'm in front of you now, ain't I?" he asked. I nodded, wiping my tears away and smiled a small smile I usually don't let out.

"Let's go, you should be meeting with your Division at this time." I nodded and walked out the door with him. We parted our ways then, and then I met up with my newly assigned division.

The reactions I go were exactly the same one as I got in the 1st Division's meeting room : shock. I couldn't help it, after all... No one would have suspected the captain of the 10th Division to have a sister, even less a twin sister that almost looked exactly like him. I sighed and regained my usual serious face.

"Alright guys, meet our new captain, Hitsugaya Tsuyuki." My vice captain said. What was his name again? Hisagi Shuuhei, right? He didn't look enthusiastic at all. From what I heard when I returned to the Academy, the former captains of the 3rd, 5th and 9th Division all betrayed the Soul Society... Well, I guess Hisagi still haven't gotten over the shock. Just hope it wouldn't be too hard to persuade him to see me as his new captain.

"Er... Hitsugaya-taicho! I have a question!" one shinigami asked as he stood out.

"What is it?" I said, emptiness filling my voice. "If you're wondering about the 10th Division's captain, then I won't answer you." I snapped.

"O-Okay..." he said, stepping back.

"Anymore question?" I asked. No one talked. "Alright, then listen, 'cause I'm not going to repeat it." They all stood straight and looked at me. "I don't know how this Division was before I came, but from now on, I'm the new captain, and you will have to adapt yourselves to my rules." I said, expecting some objections. But none came. "I will give the new list of rules to Hisagi later today, and I expect you guys to know it by heart by tomorrow." Yeah, I had pretty high expectations. "Is that understood?" some of them nodded, some of them did not give any reaction. That pissed me off. "Don't make me repeat it again. Is that understood? Get back to work now!" I let a small amount of reiatsu slip through and they immediately obeyed. This is going to be hard. "Hisagi-fukutaicho, please stay here." I asked and he looked at me. "I want to talk with you. Follow me."

I found my way toward my new office and got in, I looked around and it was nicely cleaned, after he got in, I told him to close the door shut. I sat down on the desk, and yes, I said ON the desk. And then I offered him to sit on the couch in front of me. He was being very obedient towards me.

"Alright, Hisagi. Let's hear about you." I said. He didn't catch it. "How long have you been vice captain in this division?" he frowned at my question.

"Around a few dozen of years." He replied shortly.

"Could you tell me more about you ex-captain, Tousen Kaname-senpai?" I said. I could see him hesitating. "Don't tell me if you don't want to, I will eventually know it. Leave if this conversation has ended." I hated to have empty conversations. I'll just find another way to persuade him. Won't be good if my vice captain couldn't accept me, right?

"I just want to know one thing before I answer your question, Taicho." I frowned. "Why did you become a shinigami?" he asked.

"..." I didn't know what to say, I mean, how to tell him? I've barely met him. "This is none of your business." Without saying anything, he exited to room. And I just sat here, thinking in my little bubble.

"_I have a dream. I want to become a shinigami and keep the peace for both the Human World and the Soul Society!"_

"I will fulfill it."

I jumped down from the desk and decided to go take a walk outside, and visit my division at the same time. I walked and walked, not even noticing how the sun started setting. And then, I happened to come across Hisagi and another shinigami, which I deducted, was another vice captain from the insignia he was wearing on his left arm, they seemed to be having a fight.

"What did you say, Oomaeda?" I heard Hisagi yell. "Tousen-taicho was only looking for justice! He only got lost in darkness!" I heard him say _Tousen-taicho_ with such familiarity. Yet, he sounded so cold to me.

"Haha! Don't kid me, Hisagi! Justice? Do you think following Aizen is justice?" the other, whom Hisagi has called Oomaeda, yelled. As that moment, I saw Hisagi unsheathe his sword, my eyes widened. _Shit. I don't have my Zanpakuto with me. No choice..._ I told myself as I saw Hisagi about to slash at Oomaeda with his Zanpakuto. I immediately flash stepped in between Hisagi and the other guy and stopped the blade of his Zanpakuto with my bare hands, causing it to bleed. _Ow. Glad I concentrated some reiatsu on my hand... Or it'll be goodbye._ I frowned.

"What do you think you're doing, Hisagi?" I demanded, letting my bangs hiding my eyes.

"T-Taicho?" he said.

"H-Hitsugaya-taicho?"

"Hisagi, I am very disappointed." I said, looking up at him. After a few seconds, he finally lowered his sword, letting me release it. "Don't let me know you both fighting again, or else I'll report to Soi Fon-taicho and Yamamoto-sotaicho, understood?" they only nodded. "Hisagi, follow me to my office." And then we left, leaving the 2nd Division's vice captain alone in his trance. Both of them probably think I'm insane now, jumping in front of a Zanpakuto like that.

"Taicho, we should get your hand bandaged first." He said, looking at my hand as he stood beside me.

"It's fine. There's a more important matter I need to take care of." I said, holding my wounded hand up and putting my left hand above it. I tried concentrating some reiatsu on my right hand, making it freeze so it would stop bleeding. Hisagi just looked at me weirdly.

"Hisagi, may I know why you started a fight with Oomaeda?" I asked, still walking. I felt him frown, but did not reply. "Is it because of Tousen?" he remained silent.

"I don't believe Tousen-taicho betrayed us." He simply said. I just sighed.

"Listen, Hisagi." I tried to keep a comforting voice. I didn't want to yell at him. "It is undeniable that Tousen Kaname betrayed Soul Society." He tensed at the comment I made. "But that doesn't mean he gave up looking for justice." He looked at me. "Everyone has their own way of thinking. One may take a wrong way, you just need someone to bring him back on the good path. Everyone makes mistakes." I said, remembering about my own mistakes, my own crimes I did. "So, why don't you just accept it? And then go find him, persuade him?" I said, he kept silent, but I knew that he didn't feel as tense as before. "Next time, if someone makes any comment about him, just say "I know, and I'll bring him back to the right path!", no?" I said.

"Taicho..." he said.

"Alright, it's getting late. Let's hurry back."

**THE NEXT DAY**

From the 9th Division, I walked all my way toward the 10th Division. As I passed by the shinigamis, I got all the same reaction from them once again : shock. Oh well, I was starting to get used to it anyways. Within a matter of minutes, I finally reached my destination. I knocked before getting my permission to get in.

"What is it?" I saw Toshiro scribbling on his paper works, not bothering to look up.

"Workaholic, I see." I said, with a smirk lingering on my lips. His head snapped up when he heard my voice.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, as if it wasn't obvious enough. I wanted to hit my head on the wall beside me.

"Oh god. To say you're the prodigy..." I mumbled. "I came to visit you of course!" I said, crossing my arms and lying on the closest wall.

"I'm pretty sure there's something else to that..." he said. I grimaced.

"Hum... No, not really... Except that I just had an urgent will to see your Zanpakuto."

"Not a chance."

"Fine."

"What happened anyways? I just suddenly felt a cutting pain on my hand yesterday." _Oh shit. I forgot._ And I looked at my hand, the wound was started to close.

"Nothing much that should make you worry."

"Don't tell me you got into a fight the first day you became a captain, Tsuyuki." I frowned at his comment.

"No way!"

"Taicho!" I heard an unfamiliar voice yell as a woman barged in, hitting her palms on the desk. "You won't believe it! I'm going to the Human World!" she yelled happily. Did she even notice I was there? Toshiro's eyes twitched.

"And how come I didn't receive any news about this?" he demanded, a vein popping on his forehead.

"I just heard about it from Ikkaku and Yumichika! So I decided to go with them! They said Renji and Rukia would be going too!" my brother stayed silent as she finally turned her head toward me, finally noticing my presence.

"Oh my god! It's the new Hitsugaya-taicho!" she ran toward me and pulled me into a bear hug. "You're even cutter than Taicho!" ...

"I... can't... breathe!" I tried yelling. She kept hugging me as if I was her plush or whatever.

"Matsumoto, you're suffocating her."

"Oups!" she finally released me.

"Ma-Matsumoto, w-was it?" I gasped for fresh air at the same time. She nodded. I took a few seconds to breathe in slowly and then took the opportunity to talk once again. "Did you say you were going to the Human World?" her eyes started sparkling.

"Yes! Are you willing to come, Hitsugaya-taicho?" she asked. I just looked away. I hated to ask stuff like that.

"Just count me in." And then she jumped from joy.

"I think they will need more than only one supervisor..." my brother said.

_To be continued..._


	3. Part 2

It's been almost a month since I became the captain of the 9th Division. When Hisagi heard that I was going to the Human World, he said I was being irresponsible as a captain to leave right after I got assigned to a division, but I couldn't help it. First, I had to see Toshiro's Zanpakuto. Second, it was a mission to keep peace in the Human World after all, and third... well, I would like to spend a bit more time I lost with my brother. It took me so long to persuade Hisagi.

Before they let us leave for the Human World, the 12th Division gave us one Gikongan each and then ordered us to go find that Urahara Kisuke guy to take our gigai. And now, I'm sitting in that Urahara Shoten with Toshiro, Matsumoto and 4 others shinigamis whose name I barely remember. I think it was Abarai Renji, Kuchiki Rukia, Ikkaku and er... Yumiko? Er... No, probably not, it's a girl's name. Whatever, I'll find out soon enough.

"It is shocking to know that little Hitsugaya-san has a twin sister!" the guy with the green and white stripped hat said. And then I saw a vein popping up from Toshiro's forehead.

"It's Hitsugaya-taicho." He said. Oh yeah, I forgot we were both called Hitsugaya-taicho... Oh no, this is going to make stuffs so much more complicated!

"Yes, yes, pardon me, Hitsugaya-taicho." He said, fanning himself. "So, what brought all of you here?" he asked, obviously knowing the answer.

"We were told to get our gigais here." I said. He smiled under his fan.

"Yes. I have them all prepared. Tessai-san!" he yelled the last part as a well built man appeared, carrying a few gigai on him. _How can he carry so much gigais?_ Then he put them on the ground.

"Oh, and here are the Karakura High's uniform. You will need them to go visit Ichigo." _Hm... I wonder who he is?_

After an hour of talking, we finally got to leave. And we departed for a new destination: Karakura High. Everywhere we went, people looked at us weirdly, it made me uncomfortable. It was the same when we walked through the halls of the high school, I could even hear whispers. It was then that I noticed that Rukia was no longer with us. And then we stopped in front of a door, there I saw an orange haired guy erase... or cleaning the blackboard. He somewhat looked... down? And then a picture flashed in my mind.

"Morning! How ya been, Ichigo?" Renji yelled, snapping me out of my daze. The guy looked at us, shocked.

"Eh? R-Renji? Ikkaku? Yumichika? Rangiku-san? Toshiro?" he said looking at each of them. And then his eyes landed on me. "And...?" a vein popped on Toshiro's head when he heard his name.

"It's Hitsugaya-taicho!"

"I mean... who's that girl beside you?" he pointed at me. And then again, a vein popped on my forehead.

"You know it's bad to point at someone, don't you?" I said, frowning. "My name is Hitsugaya Tsuyuki. And like Toshiro said, call me Hitsugaya-taicho!" I said.

"Heh? You're Toshiro's sister?" Don't I look like it? As he made this comment, every one fell, stupefied.

"Can you even see that without asking, dumbass?" Renji snapped.

"Eh... they do look alik-" he seemed to be noticing something. "Wait! But more importantly, what are you guys doing here?"

"Orders from above." Renji just replied. "We are to prepare for the coming battle against the Arrancar by entering the real world and joining forces with the shinigami representative, or so we were told." He explained.

"Arran... what?" Oh god. I wanted to hit my head on the wall.

"Are you stupid or what? Don't tell me you fought your enemies without knowing who they were..." I commented.

"That's probably what he did." Matsumoto whispered.

"Fight?" he asked, ignorant of what was happening.

"Idiot!" That's when Rukia appeared, she was standing at the window. They exchanged a few words, or sentences, and then Rukia just flew straight at him and kicked him on his face. By then, I heard a few guys at the end of the room starting to whisper stuffs and I looked at them, not caring anymore what happened to Rukia or Ichigo. The next time I had my attention on him was when they had their attention on Ichigo, who was knocked out of his body by Rukia while I wasn't paying attention. The guys made so many comments... Ikkaku got ticked off and scared them out.

"I think I'll take a walk outside..." I said, I hated it when there was so much commotion. And then I walked away.

"Tsuyuki-chan, where are you going?" Matsumoto yelled out. Great, since when did I get demoted?

"None of your concern, Matsumoto."

I walked around aimlessly, until I felt a Hollow's presence. _A Hollow?_ I immediately swallowed the Gikongan I was given and then rushed to the place where I felt it. But, I don't know if it's by luck or whatsoever, I happened to bump into that Ichigo guy and Rukia. It seemed like she was yelling at him, but I couldn't hear their conversation. It took quite a while for Ichigo to finish off that Hollow. That's when he noticed my reiatsu. He and Rukia turned around and looked at me.

"Tsuyuki-taicho?" she yelled, running toward me. "What are you doing here?" she asked. Ichigo was just looking from distance, not bothering to come over, but his expression showed me that he was shocked, maybe because of my title, as he was not listening much of my introduction earlier.

"Just felt a Hollow. But I guess its okay." I was about to leave when I felt another Hollow's presence, this one felt much stronger than the last one that Ichigo has killed. And then with my own eyes, I saw it appear behind Rukia, ready to attack. My eyes widened, it was too close for her to even dodge it.

"Rukia!" I heard the voice from Ichigo and then a flashback just appeared in my mind. In a matter of demi seconds, I was back to reality. _He won't make it in time..._ I just thought and flash stepped behind her to block the Hollow's strike with my Zanpakuto. She just had enough time to turn her head to look at the skulled monster before I landed a kick on its skulled face. Without even hesitating, I brought out my sword and then cut through his mask after he released some kind of gas.

"Rukia!" he was running toward her. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. Thanks to Tsuyuki-taicho." She said, looking at me as I sheathed my Zanpakuto. I just stayed in my stance and looked at the orange head. Somehow, he was emanating an aura that made me uncomfortable, but at the same time, another aura made my mood drop.

"Let's go back to school before anyone suspects anything." He said.

"Yeah." For some reason, I couldn't feel my arms and legs anymore and then my eyes started flickering, until I fell unconscious.

"Tsuyuki-taicho!" was the last thing I heard before going unconscious.

**Toshiro's POV**

I was on the roof with Matsumoto and the others, we were talking about the Arrancars when I felt dizziness blurring my brain. I immediately lost balance and fell on my hands.

"Taicho!" Matsumoto yelled as they all formed a circle around me. "Are you okay? What happened?" And then I thought about it. I just remembered about the time when Tsuyuki or I got hurt, we both could feel the same pain.

"It's Tsuyuki... She got herself in trouble again..." I whined, trying to get up but failing miserably.

"You should lie down, Hitsugaya-taicho!"

"I'll be fine in a few minutes... Ikkaku, Yumichika! Both of you go look for Hitsugaya-taicho."

"Yes, sir!" and they disappeared. After a few minutes, I definitely felt better, but Renji and Matsumoto had me sitting down for the next half an hour. _What's taking them so long?_ I had decided to go look for her myself when Ikkaku and Yumichika came back.

"Ichigo and Rukia brought her back to the Urahara Shoten!"

After hearing the news, we rushed over there. Only to see Urahara waiting in front of the door. He walked in as he saw us approaching.

"Don't worry Hitsugaya-taicho. She'll be fine in a few hours." He said, sitting down and fanning himself.

"What happened?" I asked. I was quite pissed about what happened.

"She probably just inhaled the toxin a Hollow exhaled. But it's no big deal, the toxin will have no more effect in a few hours." Urahara explained. "The toxin was originally something to keep the opponent from fighting back, so your sister should be in her perfect state in no time!" I was just relieved to hear that, but it didn't stop me from glaring at Ichigo.

"Are you sure she's going to be okay?" Rukia asked, making me jump from the sudden question. "She was freezing cold when we touched her... Even with both of us, we had trouble carrying her here..." she looked at Ichigo, who was back in his body and was enveloped with many layers of sheets, he did look like he spent a few hours in freezing water, even his lips turned purple.

_Freezing cold?_

"Hm... Hitsugaya-taicho, do you know what kind of Zanpakuto your sister wields?" he asked me. I looked away, ashamed I didn't know anything about her. "It's okay, don't be ashamed. You just saw her again not long ago, right?" he said. "I heard there should be some zanpakuto, that once you make a link with it, whenever you're in no condition in fighting, they will automatically emanate a reiatsu around the master as defensive armour." He explained. "That would explain it if Hitsugaya-chan's zanpakuto was an ice type." He added, but he looked like something was bothering him even more.

I've also heard about it... But I never thought it could actually happen. I looked back into the room where Tsuyuki was resting.

"Ichigo, about the Arrancars..." Rukia started while I wandered off somewhere in my mind. After the meeting finished, everyone left after deciding where they'd stay, leaving only me, Rukia and Ichigo here. I ignored both of them and walked in to the visitor's room where Tsuyuki stayed and sat down beside her.

**Tsuyuki's POV**

"... ARGHHHHH! Help, Rukia-nee-chan!"

"Kon! Stay quiet!" I heard this familiar voice. I slowly opened my eyes to learn that I was facing an unfamiliar ceiling. I slowly sat up, with my throbbing head.

"Ugh... what's that throbbing pain..." I mumbled.

"You're finally awake, Tsuyuki-taicho!" a voice beside me yelled. I turn on my left to see Rukia sitting on a chair with Ichigo stepping on a lion plush. I frowned.

"What happened?" I asked, not remembering anything that happened before I passed out.

"You passed out right after fighting a Hollow." She said. Then the image flashed in my head.

"Oh... right..." I said, plopping back on the bed, my right arm covering my eyes. Ichigo and Rukia stayed silent. _Wait...!_ I snapped up, causing them to jump. "Where am I?" I asked turning my head from left to right, noticing the unfamiliar surroundings, making my headache worst.

"You're at my house." Ichigo stated. _What am I doing here?_

"Where's Hitsugaya-taicho?" I demanded. They both didn't answer me.

"Hm... He went back to Soul Society, just last night, Yamamoto-sotaicho called him and asked him to go back immediately, he said it was very important." Rukia explained. "And Hitsugaya-taicho asked Ichigo to take care of you..." Great. Since when did I need to be babysitted?

"Right... thanks for taking me in, Ichigo..." I said. I totally hated that.

"Nee-chan!" I heard someone... or something yell. As I heard the voice, some yellow thing flew at me. My reflexes told me to punch that thing away, and that's what I did. That's when I noticed that it was a talking plush. My eyes twitched.

"... since when did a plush talk?" I asked and then Rukia and Ichigo filled me with all the information I needed. I was planning to stand up and get changed, but for some reason, my balance still hasn't came back to me, and as consequence, the moment I stood, I almost fell head first on the floor, if it wasn't for Ichigo who caught me in time.

"Careful!" he said, sitting me on his bed. His touch was warm, almost as warm as-

"Taicho, you don't seem like you can stand, is there anything wrong?" Rukia asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"No, I'm fine." I tried standing up slowly and then I was perfectly fine, I had regained my balance.

"By the way... you wouldn't mind if I asked who Kai was?" What? Did I just hear it wrong? I stood there, paralyzed.

"W-what are you talking about?" I asked Ichigo.

"Well, you kept mumbling his name yesterday after you fell unconscious." He pointed out. I just looked down, I didn't want anyone to see my face now. _Kai..._ It's been a while I haven't heard his name.

"Mishigawa... Kai... Was my senpai in the Shinigami Academy... And he was a close friend..." I explain.

"Was?" Rukia asked.

"H-He... died some years ago..." I clenched my fists.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't know-" I immediately ran out of the room and found my way to the washroom, trying to wash my tears away, as if I could. It felt as if it had only happened yesterday… his death…

"_AHHH!"_

"_Tsuyuki!" he jumped in front of me, blocking the attack of the Adjucas in the process, but also getting badly wounded._

"_K-Kai?" I looked at him, fright filling in my eyes._

More tears made their way up at the memory. _I killed him..._ I couldn't get the thought out of my mind. I finally got myself to calm down, after what it felt like... years of locking myself in the washroom. When I got out, Rukia and Ichigo stood in front of me, worry filling more or less their eyes.

"Are you okay?" Ichigo asked.

"Yeah." I just replied simply. My voice was soar. I left the house, leaving them behind, and then tried to find a place where I could calm down and relax. _I thought I had accepted the fact that..._ I couldn't pronounce the words. _I can't... It's too hard..._ I came to a deserted park and sat down on a swing. I didn't know how long it took me to find that park nor to think, but when I got back to reality, the sun was already setting. And I have just noticed that someone was sitting on the swing that was beside the one I was on.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, still looking at the horizon.

"I promised Toshiro I'd look over you."

"I don't think I need to be watched over like a little kid..." my grip on the chains strengthened. But he didn't say anything.

"Have you ever watched the horizon like this one?" I asked him after a few minutes of silence. From the side, I could see he turned around to look at me, but turned back to face the setting sun.

"My first time." He said. Somehow, I felt comfortable around him today.

"I've seen better ones. It was back in the Soul Society. I was still in the Academy back then..." I looked down, saddened by the memories once again.

"Toshiro told me that you both had been separated when you were young, how did you feel back then?" he asked me. It caught me off guard, Toshiro did?

"I don't know... I guess I felt empty. After all, Toshiro was the only one I could trust back then..." I told him. "It was until I met Kai..." tears started to make their way up, but this time, I didn't fight them. "Kai... and me... we were both very close... I guess I could say we were almost like a couple... I secretly admired him... and I secretly loved him..." I thought about the time we passed together, they were all happy memories. I just stifled a small laugh. "We shared many memories..." the sadness was overflowing through my body. "But... but... they had to take him away... I-I killed him... I killed Kai..." I couldn't stop crying, but I never cried it out, I just let small rivers of tears glide on my cheeks. Then I felt a pair of warm arms pull me into a hug.

"Just cry it out. Don't force yourself." He said. I just gripped onto his white shirt. I finally cracked. I cried and cried and cried, watering his shirt like I did with Toshiro. As I did, he quietly stroked my back, soothing me.

I don't know when or how it happened, but I guess I fell asleep while I cried. I couldn't remember was happened after.

When I woke up... well, I was pretty surprised. Ichigo was lying beside me and I was kind of... hugging his arm like a plush? I felt my cheeks heat up. I immediately tried to put away my arms, freeing myself, and him from the grip. It was still dark outside when I woke up, which disappointed me. I wanted to get some sleep, but I couldn't fall back asleep. I decided to get up and go on the rooftop. I sat there and looked at the moon quietly, waiting for the sun to appear...

_To be continued..._


	4. Part 3

"Tsuyuki!" I heard someone yell my name. The voice was familiar. I lazily opened my eyes to see Rukia kneeing beside me. I sat up and looked at her. _Oh... I fell asleep._

"What is it, Rukia?"

"Well, since it was your first time on the Human World, Ichigo and I thought that it would be great if you could have some fun today." She said, looking at Ichigo who was just beside her, with a... 'what the heck' look on his face. Yeah, he probably didn't look like he suggested that.

"How about Matsumoto and the others?" It's been a while since I haven't heard about them.

"Eh? Didn't Ichigo tell you? Matsumoto-fukutaicho went back to Soul Society with Hitsugaya-taicho." She stated. Well, I knew about Toshiro, but not about Matsumoto. "Renji is staying with Urahara, so he's probably busy doing chores now. Yumichika and Ikkaku should be patrolling around." She continued.

"..." What could I say? "What do you want to do?" I asked her.

"Well, since I haven't done much in the Human World either..." she looked at Ichigo. Oh great, HE'S going to make the schedule. "C'mon Tsuyuki! Let's get changed!" she dragged me back into Ichigo's room, which was only under the roof I've been sleeping on the whole night. And I've never noticed that before... But isn't she only calling me Tsuyuki?

Rukia borrowed me some outfits that she took from Yuzu, Ichigo's youngest sister, which was a short dress with a huge smiley in the front. Until then, I haven't even noticed that I was still wearing Karakura High's uniform. I just looked at myself in the mirror after I got changed. My eyes twitched... a lot. It didn't match me at all. Especially my hair. Rukia and Ichigo just tried to hold back their laughter after seeing me. Great, did I become some kind of clown or what?

When we got out of the house, I immediately dragged Ichigo and Rukia toward a clothing store. There was no way I was going to wear that thing for the whole day. Ichigo waited while I picked out my outfits with Rukia.

"How about that?" Rukia asked, showing me another short dress. I turned my head. No way I'm going to wear those dresses ever again.

"That?" she asked me again, holding up a t-shirt with a dog's face on it. Who does she think I am? A baby? I wanted to kill myself. I looked toward Ichigo for a few times, he looked bored. I decided to hurry and pick out some clothes.

Finally, I got changed into a black mini skirt with a red hoodie over my white tank top. I was perfectly satisfied with my outfit. I put Yuzu's dress into the bag the store gave me and returned it to her before going anywhere else.

"Tsuyuki, is there anywhere you want to go?" Rukia asked me.

"You were the one who suggested that. You should have an idea about where to go." I told her. She looked at Ichigo once again, who sighed.

"Amusement park?" he asked. I looked at Rukia. _What's that?_ "Doesn't even look like you guys even know what that means." He stated. I felt a vein pop on my forehead.

"We'll eventually know." I said, crossing my arms and looking away. Rukia blinked a few times.

"Then let's go!" she immediately dragged me away...

**Half an hour later**

I stood in front of what they called a roller coaster. It was huge. I heard people yell from it.

"Aren't they yelling for help or anything?" I asked. Ichigo fell upside down.

"No, it's an amusement park like I said. Want to try it out?" he said after getting back up and pointed to that tall thing.

"Yes, let's go!" Rukia yelled and ran toward the line. I swallowed a lump in my throat.

"You're not afraid, are you?" I heard Ichigo's voice. I knew he was smirking.

"N-no." I was sweating.

It took all my energy to get onto that 'car'. I sat in between Rukia and Ichigo and they told us to buckle up. We had those kinds of security things that came over the upper part of our bodies. Is that seriously going to secure us from dying? I closed my eyes tightly. _Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit._ I felt the 'car' moving up. _I'm going to die. I'm going to die. Save me someone! Toshiro!_ That's when I felt a warm hand over mine. I opened my eyes and looked at my left to see Ichigo looking in front, but his hand over mine.

"Don't worry. It's only an attraction. You won't die." He said. I bit my lips. And the ride started…

I finally got off the 'car'. I was kind of amazed... I think.

"It was fun!" Rukia yelled. I smiled, showing my agreement. I looked around, trying to find Ichigo, but he was nowhere near us, until... I spotted some guy standing a few feet away from us, and crouched in front of him. The view wanted to make me laugh. I tapped on Rukia's shoulder, who was still jumping around, and pointed toward what I saw. She laughed, causing me to burst out laughing as well.

"I-I can't... believe.. it!" Rukia said in between laughs while pointing toward Ichigo, who was puking.

_Haha. He actually said that to comfort himself. I should've seen through that!_ I couldn't stop laughing, it was just hilarious.

After that, we went on the other rides, Ichigo staying on the side or joining on a few. We almost did everything there were, only we didn't bother to play at the kiosks.

"Hey, my friend! Want to win some plush for your girlfriends?" I heard someone yell as we were about to leave. Ichigo, Rukia and I turned around to see a guy looking at us. He had a microphone and held a plush in his hand. It seemed like he was standing in one of those... er... archery stands? I saw a lot of plush that hung on the wall behind him.

"Hey come on! I see your friend eyes glowing!" he pointed out. Huh? I looked at my side, to see Rukia's eyes sparkling. And I just remembered I had seen a Chappy plush in the stand. Ichigo probably noticed the same thing, since he sighed and walked toward the stand. He paid the guy and he gave him a bow and five arrows. Rukia just rushed toward him as I stood quietly behind them.

"Ichigo! It's okay! I can get it on my own!" Rukia said, but he already delivered one arrow... to an empty space. A vein popped on his forehead. He tried a second one, it hit the target, but on the side. A third one, missed again. Fourth, missed again.

"No way!" he said after missing his fifth one. He paid the guy and tried again. I was getting kind of tired, I didn't even know when I stopped paying attention.

"_No way! I won't take a break until I find out how to do it!" I was trying to learn some kido with Kai. He was always patient while I tried to learn them._

"_Maybe it'll help if you take a short break, Tsuyuki." He said, sitting down. I ignored him. It took me almost a whole day to perfectly master the Hadou 33 – Soukatsui. We went to eat after that, I was so full of myself, so happy._

"Here." Something soft hit my face and snapped me out of my delusions. I blinked, only to feel something fall in my hands, I looked down to see a white teddy bear in my hands. "I would feel bad if I only got Rukia something." He said, I looked up at him and he was looking away.

"Thanks." I smiled. It's been a while I haven't gotten so much fun.

After that, we went shopping again. That was the fun part. Rukia and I had Ichigo try out every outfit we picked for him. Well our tastes aren't that bad, after all, it was just for fun. And of course, we did some shopping for ourselves.

"Oii! Are you girls really taking me as a doll?" he whined while we picked more outfits.

"Not really, it's just that you're always wearing the same thing." Rukia pointed out. Well, I didn't know that. "Here, try that and that and that on." She threw some tops on him. I just laughed at them. I just came across a beautiful necklace while I looked for my clothes. Yes, as I had just said, it was beautiful. It was a light blue cross with what looked like a phoenix surrounding it. It reminded me of my Zanpakuto.

"Tsuyuki! What are you looking at?" Rukia asked me and looked behind the glass. I pointed toward the necklace.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" she only nodded.

"I prefer that one though." She pointed toward a snowflake like pendant.

"Oh by the way, where's Ichigo?" I asked, noticing he wasn't around us, turning around. Rukia just pointed toward a small cabin.

"He's trying out the outfits."

"Kuchiki-san? Tsuyuki-san?" Rukia and I turned around, looking for the origin of the voice. There I saw an orange hair girl wearing a skirt. It was Orihime, one of Ichigo's friends.

"Hey, Orihime!" Rukia waved at her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, running towards us. Rukia pointed toward the cabin again.

"We're doing some shopping with Ichigo."

"With Kurosaki-kun?" that's when Ichigo came out. He was wearing shorts and a sleeveless black shirt. He wore a cap over his head. I blinked a few time. Was that really him? That's total change!

"You could've only picked some-" he started whining but saw Orihime.

"Inoue? How long you've been here?" they started to chat a bit, after Ichigo has changed into his own clothes, while Rukia and I picked some more clothes for ourselves. I haven't noticed before now, but...

"Inoue! I picked some clothes for you!" Rukia said, showing her the dresses she chose. I wonder if Rukia only likes dresses, after all, that's what she only wears.

"T-Thanks!" she blinked and looked at the dresses. "H-How about you all come to my house tonight? I can call Sado-san and Ishida-san." She suggested.

"N-" Ichigo started but got cut off.

"That would be great!"

"How about you, Tsuyuki-san? You haven't talked since I came..." she pointed out. Now I felt bad.

"Oh, sure." I forced a smile. I looked at Ichigo, he looked at me like I killed someone just right in front of him – he had a terrified look on his face. Huh-uh?

"How about you, Kurosaki-kun?" she asked, hope filling her eyes.

"Guess I don't really have a choice." He saw, putting his hand behind his neck.

"Alright! I'm going to get the stuffs prepared! I'll see you guys later!" she said, running toward the cashier to pay the dresses Rukia gave her and ran out of the shop. Doesn't she have to try them on? I mean, at least to know if it fits her? I bet Rukia and Ichigo thought about the same thing. And then I just noticed that I was still holding some clothes on my arm.

"I think I'm going to try out the clothes..." I said, walking toward one of the cabins, leaving Rukia and Ichigo alone. As I changed, I felt a Hollow close by and at the same time, Ichigo's Battle Certificate went off... It hurt my ears. _Why at this time?_ I asked myself and then dressed back into my clothes quickly and left the outfits on the counter.

"I'll be right back." I told the cashier in a rush and then nodded to Ichigo and Rukia and we all ran out of the store.

"Where is it?" Ichigo asked. Without even answering, I got out of my gigai and flash stepped toward a deserted park, where I found a humongous Hollow. It didn't look like a Menos, either those small fries. _What is that?_ I thought, analyzing its size, it sent chills through my spine. It was huge!

"Hm... what do I have here?" I heard it's disgusting voice say, turning around to face me, it was still too tall for me to see it's face. "Oh! How lucky can I be? I found a little shinigami! And even a captain!" he said, stomping toward me. I stood my grounds. A little voice in my head told me to run.

_I can't!_ Its hand stretched out and went toward me. I brought out my sword and flash stepped away, behind him. This thing reminded me of something I couldn't remember.

"Playing hide and seek, heh?" he whipped something at me as I jumped up by reflex, dodging it. I noticed it was his tail. I lifted my Zanpakuto and was about to cut him in two, but then...

"_Want to play with me, little kids?" a terrifying voice said._

"ARGHHH!" I hit a building close by, my head was aching like hell. _What was that?_ I held my head in pain, I felt liquid sliding down my cheek. I could feel the Hollow approaching me, ready to crush me. _Ignore the pain, Tsuyuki. Ignore the pain!_ I shakily took back my Zanpakuto and immediately jumped back, dodging its attack.

"You have pretty good skills... for escaping." It laughed out loud.

"Don't get your guards down, Hollow." I whispered and jumped up once again, slashing it in two pieces.

"Tsuyuki-taicho!" I heard someone yell my name as a fell on my knees, the pain on my head coming back instantly. I let my Zanpakuto fall and I held my head in my two hands.

"Ahhhh!" I whined. I felt a warm hand over my head.

"_Onii-san!" a little voice yelled. "You jerk! Let go of my onii-san!" kicks and punches were thrown._

"_Let go of me, you little punk!" *smack*_

"-ki-taicho?" I blinked a few times and looked in front of me. The pain was gone and I was kneeling in front of Rukia and Ichigo. "Are you okay, Tsuyuki-taicho?" Rukia asked worried. I nodded. _What was that? It was so blurry..._ I asked myself.

"How does your head feel?" I completely forgot about the killing headache. So I guess it was okay now. What a shame of me. I almost had been killed by that Hollow. I was disgusted by the thought of it, how could I? Do I even worth the title of a captain? I shook the thoughts off my mind. I looked at Ichigo, he didn't say anything, but his eyes were filled with... worry...? or was it pity? I frowned. Did he pity me or what? I stood up and dusted myself out.

"Can you walk?" he asked.

"Yeah." I snapped at him. I guess I just took him off guard. But I couldn't help it, I hated people pitying me. But somehow, I felt comfortable inside. "Let's just go." I said.

We went back to the shop after getting back into our gigai and left for Orihime's house. She greeted us and happily let us in.

"Sado-san and Ishida -san said they couldn't come." She said, saddened.

"Aww! It's okay, Orihime, we're here, aren't we?" Rukia asked, cheering her up.

"Yes! It's true! And I got Abarai-san and the others to come!" she said happily.

After an hour of waiting, everyone was finally there. Ikkaku and Yumichika bought some stuffs from the... drugstore? That's what I heard them say anyways, Renji brought over a sake bottle that he stole from Urahara. I felt bad now that I didn't bring anything.

"Orihime?" I said, walking in the kitchen. At least I'd help her cook.

"Tsuyuki-san?" she jumped, turning around.

"I thought I'd help you cook..." I said, looking away.

"Oh no! There's no need to!" she said, her eyes wide.

"No, let me do it! Or I'd feel bad..." I whispered the last part. She blinked, obviously not hearing it and smiled.

"Alright. There's some food in the refrigerator, you can make anything you want with the food you find." She said. _Refrigerator?_ I looked around me. There was that huge rectangle box in the corner of the kitchen. That must be it. I walked toward it and pulled it opened. My eyes widened. There was a bunch of food stocked inside. _Wait... Cook? What should I cook?_ I barely ever touched food! Souls don't eat, remember? Dumbass. I hit my palm on my forehead. _Why did I have to offer her something I can't even do?_ Great. What now?

I looked around in the refrigerator. Then some kind of food just flashed in my mind. So I just had the idea to make it. I took out all the fruits I found and some other ingredients that I found...

**An hour later**

Finally done! I looked in front of me, I was glad of what I have done. I put it in the refrigerator to keep it in the cold. I looked over to Orihime. She was already done and had taken the food out to the table.

"Are you done, Tsuyuki-san?" I nodded and we went out to the table. I sat in between Rukia and Ichigo with Ikkaku facing me. I looked at the food in front of me. It looked tasty.

"Itadakimasu!" everyone said, but Ichigo stayed silent. _Hm..?_ I looked over to him. He was looking at Ikkaku, who was the first one to start eating, with Yumichika following him.

"How's the food?" Orihime asked them.

"Amazing!" they both said. I followed them, but as the food hit my tongue...

"How's it?" Ichigo asked me, barely in a mumble. I looked at him and munched my food.

"It's not bad." I said after swallowing the food, as a matter of politeness. Rukia did the same, as did Renji. Ichigo was the last one to eat, and from his expression, I could tell he hated the food.

It's been almost half an hour since we all started eating, and for some reason, as I ate, I felt my cheeks heat up more and more...

**Third person's POV**

"Um... Inoue, what did you put in your food?" Ichigo asked, looking at Rukia who was sound asleep on the floor and at Tsuyuki...

"Yeah, heh? They both look... drunk." Ikkaku added.

"Heh? But I didn't put any alcohol inside." She said, running into the kitchen. "AHHHH!" she yelled. The four guys immediately ran inside to see what was going on. "Oh no... I mixed up the vinegar with the sake that Abarai-san brought!" she said, holding up the bottle of sake. They all fell upside down. After a moment, they all went back into the dining room after putting Rukia into the visitor's room. Tsuyuki looked pretty fine to them, so they let her be as she walked around the room.

"Well, I never knew they were non-tolerant to alcohol." Ikkaku said.

"But it makes Tsuyuki-chan so beautiful!" Yumichika said, pointed at the red faced captain, that had disappeared from their view.

"Tsuyuki-taicho?" Ikkaku and Yumichika stood up and looked around.

"K-Kai!" a bell ringing voice rang behind them, followed by a falling sound.

"W-Wah?" Ichigo's familiar voice rang after. Yumichika and Ikkaku turned around to see the captain of the 9th Division hovering over Ichigo, both her hands beside Ichigo's head. Renji and Orihime looked at her, their jaw dropping.

"Kai... Do you know... do you know... how much I missed you?" her eyes were filled with tears that sled down her red cheeks as her head went closer and closer to Ichigo's, whose face glowed a thousand shades of red.

"W-Wait! I'm not Kai! I'm Ichigo! Someone, help!" he was trying to pry Tsuyuki off him. _How can she be so strong?_

" I-I love you... so much..." she planted a kiss on Ichigo's lips and fell asleep at Ichigo's side, leaving the substitute shinigami's eye wide. Everyone stood there, shocked.

_Did she just… kiss him?_ Everyone thought. Orihime sat with a shocked look on her face, all her body frozen.

"I-I think we should put her to bed..." Renji said, walking toward Tsuyuki and picked her up, taking her to the same visitor room where Rukia stayed.

"W-"

"We should get going." Ikkaku cut Yumichika off and dragged him away.

"I-I think I'm going to wash the dishes, excuse me, Kurosaki-kun..." Orihime ran off to the kitchen, tears filling her eyes.

_What just happened? How could this happen? She's really drunk, right?_ Ichigo thought, still lying on the floor, shock paralyzing him. The memory he had just made kept playing back in his head.

_To be continued..._


	5. Part 4

"Ah... my head hurts like hell..." I whined as I woke up. I looked around me, the place looked unfamiliar to me. _Where am I?_ And then I looked at the bed beside me to see Rukia sound asleep. I got off and noticed I was still in the clothes I was wearing yesterday.

I slid the door open and saw Orihime and Ichigo sitting on the dining table and talking. They both looked at me and I saw Orihime's face turn down. _Heh?_ I looked at Ichigo and I saw him blushing. _What the hell? Did I miss something?_

"Hm... Orihime... Do you have anything that can help with a headache?" I asked her.

"Oh! Yes, yes!" she said standing up and rushing toward a little desk and came back with some pills. "Here, this should help." She handed them to me along with a glass of water. I thanked her and swallowed them. I felt uncomfortable for some reason. I looked back at them, and they were still wearing the same face as earlier and looking at me.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked.

"T-Tsuyuki-chan, you don't remember?" Orihime asked, hesitant. _Remember what?_ I frowned again.

"What are you talking about, Orihime? Did I forget something?" then I clicked.

"Oh, it's someone's birthday today, right? I'm sorry but-" Ichigo cut me off.

"It's not that!" he looked pissed now. _What then?_ I looked at him.

"Hm... you got drunk last night, Tsuyuki-chan." Orihime added, looking down. Me? Get drunk? How could I? I didn't even-

A flashback popped in my mind.

Wait. Wait! WAIT! What was that? I looked wide eye at Ichigo. I... I... I did NOT do that, did I? I felt my cheeks heating up. I blinked.

"Remember now?" he snapped. The image was still running in my head. What was that? What did I do back there? I'm just dreaming, right?

"I-I did not just..." I couldn't pronounce it.

"Yes, you did." He said, looking away from me, obviously looking pissed. Orihime looked like she was going to burst too. Oh god. Oh god.

"I-I'm sorry!" I ran out.

Why did I kiss him? What was I thinking? Have I gone mad? Tsuyuki! What were you thinking?

"_I-I love you... so much..."_

Why does it keep replaying? I ran the fastest and furthest my body could let me. Was I insane? N-No way... I did NOT kiss him! I-I only love... the one I only love... it's Kai!...

I-Ichigo... Orihime... they're going to... they're going to hate me now... Why did I do this...? Why? Does Rukia know? No... They'll tell her... N-No way... Why did I kiss Ichigo?

"Tsuyuki!" I felt someone pull me back as I turned around. "Stop running!" he yelled.

"I-Ichigo...?" looking at him made me feel horrible. Both for Orihime, for Rukia too... Wasn't it obvious? They both like him!

"Why are you running away? It's not like you've done a sin!" he told me. Yes, it's a sin. "It really doesn't matter. It's just a... It's just a kiss." He hesitated the last part. "Who cares about that." He said, looking about, still holding my wrist.

"Orihime... Rukia..." a whisper he obviously didn't hear. Suddenly, he pulled me into a tight yet comfortable hug.

"Don't cry anymore, okay?" he told me. I didn't even notice I was crying. Yes, why was I crying? Isn't it just a mere kiss that I lost? Why I am crying over such... trivial things?

"I'm sorry." I pulled away and then ran again. I couldn't look at him. I didn't dare to. What has gone wrong with me?

I walked aimlessly in Karakura Town, not knowing where to go, until I reached the Urahara Shoten. I felt a very familiar reiatsu inside. It attracted me to go inside. I hesitated. But I finally gave in. I walked in, only to be greeted by Ururu.

"Is Urahara here?" I asked her. She led me inside the deeper part of the shop, which was their kind of house. She told me to sit down and wait. As I did, I only felt the reiatsu growing closer. Ururu came back with some tea and something in her hand.

"Someone told me to give this to you, Tsuyuki-san." She said politely. I looked at the package. I nodded and thanked her. After she left, I quietly opened to package...

My eyes widened. I looked at the gift. It was the pendant I saw yesterday at the shop with... Rukia...

"Like it?" a voice said behind me. I immediately turned around, recognizing the voice.

"Toshiro?" I followed him with my eyes as he took a seat in front of me. He frowned as he saw my face.

"What happened? Your eyes look swollen. Did you cry?" he asked.

"Huh.. Er... N-No..." I replied.

"Stop lying. You're no good at it. Just like Hinamori." He sighed and looked away. "Renji told me what happened." The flashbacks came back. "Don't worry about it, Tsuyuki." I looked down. Did everyone know? "He won't tell anyone. He just thought I should know because you're my sister. So, no one knows about it, you can relax." He comforted me. I just nodded.

"Kai... He was your senpai in the Academy, am I right?" I blinked. "Renji told me you kept saying that Ichigo was Kai." Oh. I finally understood now. It cleared me from my mixed feelings. But still, I felt a small knot in my heart.

"Yes... Kai-senpai... He was a close friend... and my senpai. I met him when we had been separated. The first time I saw him, I knew that I loved him. Love at first sight, I guess. I enrolled into the Shinigami Academy for him, I wanted to meet him. And I did..."

"_Kai! Come over here!" a sensei said. "You will be teaching this young girl over here some basic kidos."_

"_Yes, sir!" he looked at me and smiled._

"_What's your name, girl?" he asked._

"_Hitsugaya Tsuyuki… N-Nice to meet you."_

"We became very close after that. We had been assigned to beginner missions together. I graduated quickly. I was hoping I could graduate with him. I even heard that the Gotei 13 has even reserved a place for him in the 9th Division, as a seated officer." I looked down. "I was proud of him. I admired him. I wanted to fight at his sides."

"_I want to be like you, Kai-senpai! I want to be as strong as you and fight by your sides!"_

"That was foolish of me." I frowned. "Our last mission together... Was also my first where I had to slay a Hollow." I closed my eyes. "I was too full of myself. I jumped in the fight without listening to Kai-senpai." I put my right hand over my chest.

"_No! Tsuyuki! Don't!" Kai-senpai warned me._

"_I'm going to be fine! Let me do it!" I flash stepped toward the monster. But I was too slow, it jerked me away, making me hit the cold ground._

"_Tsuyuki! Stop it!" I didn't listen. I stood back up and flash stepped toward the monster head on. I was planning to cut through it, but it hit me on my sides._

"_Tough little kid, aren't we?" the Hollow smirked. I felt that my sides were broken. I could move no more. I was waiting for my death blow to come as the Hollow formed a cero in his mouth._

"_Tsuyuki!" Kai-senpai has reflected the hit for me. I was glad he saved me. He went back into battle, but suddenly... so many Hollows appeared. There was one that was about to attack me..._

"_AHHH!" I yelled, out of fear. I just noticed. It was no normal Hollow. It was an Adjuchas._

"_Tsuyuki!" he jumped in front of me, blocking the attack of the Adjucas in the process, but also getting badly wounded._

"_K-Kai?" I looked at him, fright filling in my eyes. The attack was too strong for him to be reflected._

"I killed Kai-senpai with my stubbornness. I was too full of myself." I repeated, clenching my fists. "I hated myself for what I've done. I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to die." The air around us tensed. It felt cold. "Until one day, I couldn't take the pain anymore. I tried killing myself with my Zanpakuto. But... Hyokorimaru woke me up." I looked at Toshiro, he looked lost. I smiled weakly. "Hyokorimaru is my Zanpakuto." I closed my eyes. I felt her close, yes she was close. "She told me..."

"_Are you crazy? Wake up! If you kill yourself, Kai isn't going to be any happier!"_

"_W-wah?" my eyes widened. There was no one around. Who was that? And... where am I? Why is there so much... ice around?_

" _I'm your Zanpakuto. You're in my world now." I looked behind me. There I saw her._

"_Who will fulfill Kai's dream if you die? What was the reason for his death? He tried protecting your life! Don't tell me you're going to throw away his last gift to you like that!" he voice was beautiful. "Now, get up and find your reason to live! He wouldn't want to see you like this!"_

"Hyokorimaru... I didn't know her name yet at that time. But I woke up. I worked hard for one year. I finally got to learn her name and achieve bankai a few years later..." I smiled to myself. "She... she's saved me."

"I see. Then you should make your life useful." He said, smirking. I smiled. I looked at the pendant in my hand. It was so beautiful. "Let me help you." He said and stood up, took the ice blue pendant in my hand and stood behind me, putting the necklace around my neck.

"Thanks." I closed my eyes and held the pendant once again in my hand.

"Let's go." He said. Heh? I turned around.

"Where?" I asked, oblivious to what he was talking about.

"We're going to Orihime's place. Matsumoto should be there now." My eyes widened.

"W-why?"

"You're not going to hide from them forever, are you?" he asked me. Of course I'm not going to.

We were walking toward Orihime's place, I felt my heart racing. Why? I'm not feeling anything for Ichigo, so why do I still feel that knot inside my heart? I just kissed him, but I didn't intend to kiss Ichigo. I know, that doesn't make any sense, but it's true.

I was standing in front of Orihime's apartment. I waited patiently as Toshiro rang the bell. What was I going to do? What was I going to say?

Orihime opened the door. She looked down at us, her saddened face never wearing off.

"Hitsugaya-san...? Tsuyuki-chan?" I looked down, why was I being obsessed over these kind of stuffs?

"It's Hitsugaya-taicho!" my brother whined.

"Ah! Taicho! You're finally here!" Matsumoto ran out and pulled me into a tight hug. I didn't say anything, I didn't feel like talking, I only felt sad. "Tsuyuki-chan! I missed you so much!" I only pushed her away. "Tsuyuki-chan?" worry filled her voice.

"Matsumoto, you come with me." Toshiro must be trying to make me talk with Orihime. They left without any other words, leaving me and her standing at the door.

"Oh! Tsuyuki-chan, come in!" she stepped aside, letting me walk in.

"Orihime... Why don't we talk on the roof?" her eyes widened. I jumped on the roof and sat down, waiting for her to come, I looked at the crescent moon, it looked beautiful, exactly like the in Seireitei. I was wondering then... was she going to come?

"T-Tsuyuki-chan! Here, I got you a jacket, it's kind of cold up here." I saw Orihime, she was on the ladder, holding up a black jacket. How can she be so kind to me?

"Just sit, I'm not cold." I said. "Thanks." I mumbled. She did as I said and sat down beside me.

"Inoue Orihime..." she looked at me. "How can you be so kind to me...?" my voice was low, though, I'm sure she could hear me. I hugged my legs in my arms. "I just... I just kissed the guy you've being loving for so long..." I said, clenching my fists. "Don't you hate me?" I asked her.

"T-Tsuyuki-chan... I-"

"Don't deny it. You love him and everyone can see that." I pointed out. "I don't know what has gone wrong with me last night..." I hid my face in my arms.

"Tsuyuki-chan... I-It's okay... It's not like you killed Kurosaki-kun-" she tried to comfort me.

"No. I didn't kill him. But I... I kissed someone I shouldn't have. I'm... I'm sorry." I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. I lifted my head up.

"Tsuyuki-chan, it's not your fault, you were just drunk, right? You took Kurosaki-kun for Kai-san. I won't hate you for those kinds of things, either for anything that will happen in the future." She comforted me, a warm smile replacing her saddened face. Her eyes were filled with care and love. I guess I couldn't help but accept it.

"I-I guess.." I said. Her hand slipped back down to her side and she looked up to the moon.

"Is it that obvious?" she asked me. What was she talking about? Then I clicked.

"Not really... I just feel it." I half heartedly smiled. "Orihime...I-" I suddenly felt a huge amount of reiatsu. But it felt unfamiliar. My eyes widened as I looked toward the direction I felt it.

"Tsuyuki!" I heard my brother call me. I frowned and swallowed my Gikongan that I always kept with me.

"Orihime! Go back inside and keep an eye on the gigais!" I ordered and jumped down from the roof to meet up with Toshiro and Matsumoto.

"Where's Inoue Orihime?" he asked me.

"She's going to watch over our gigais. Let's hope she won't join the fight." I said, feeling the strange reiatsu closer and closer by matters of a hundredth second.

Suddenly, before our eyes, two Hollows appeared. No, Arrancars.

"Nice to meet you..." I gasped. I immediately jumped away from the roof that crumbled under the attack of the third Arrancar. I looked as the dust cleared and the Arrancar was nowhere to be found. Hitsugaya and Matsumoto were both far from me, both dealing with an Arrancar. "You should pay attention... kid." What? I immediately flash stepped away as I felt a blow heading toward me. I looked back at the spot where I was just a second ago.

My eyes widened. The Arrancar that stood in front of me disappeared once again. _What the hell?_ I drew out my Zanpakuto and blocked the attack that came from behind me. I tried to get a good look at my enemy from the corner of my eyes, but no chance. She disappeared again.

"Oh, my dear. Do you want to see my figure so much?" her voice sounded so... piercing. "As you wish." Suddenly, she appeared just one inch from my face. I slashed my Zanpakuto in front of me as my reflexes told me to, and as I did, she jumped back. I looked at her, she didn't move at all, she just looked at me, her smirk lingering on her lips.

Her Hollow mask hid half of her face, but I could tell... She looked beautiful. Her black hair was swaying in the wind, her purple red eyes glowed like a gem.

"My name is Deralde Gaeterg." her smirk grew wider. "And remember it." She held out her sword once again and crouched in front of her, ready to attack. "Don't let your guard down... kid." Gosh, I hated how she called me. Whatever.

I held Hyokorimaru in front of me, ready to strike.

"You might be fast..." It was my turn to smirk. I flash stepped behind her. "But you're no match to me." I whispered to her ears, attempting to strike her on the side.

"Hmph." She just disappeared in front of my eyes. _Shunpo?_ No way.

"Did you say anything?" What? I bent down as quickly as I could at the moment I felt the cold metal at my neck. I immediately tried to town around and cut her, but once again, she dodged.

I looked at her. She was licking the tip of her sword as I saw some red liquid leek down. _What?_ That was when I felt blood leek down from my neck. I frowned. Goofing around won't lead me anywhere.

"Alright. You leave me no choice." I stood up and held my Zanpakuto horizontally. I put my left hand on the sharp end of my katana, holding it like it was another handle.

"Tengoku to chikyuu o tsunagi, Hyokorimaru!"

_To be continued..._


	6. Part 5

"Alright. You leave me no choice." I stood up and held my Zanpakuto horizontally. I put my left hand on the sharp end of my katana, holding it like it was another handle.

"Tengoku to chikyuu o tsunagi, Hyokorimaru!"

A small tornado formed horizontally around my Zanpakuto and my hands, covering them. Then I crouched down, parting both my hands to my side, revealing the twin Zanpakuto in my possession. I heard the chains that linked them clatter together as I heard a bird-like cry, I smirked.

"Here I come..." I mumbled and flash stepped toward my enemy and stroke my enemy from behind. But she blocked me in time with her katana as my sword was only a few inches from her skin. We looked at each other, sending sparks through our eyes. As she was busy with me, Hyokorimaru flew from the other side, ready to attack, as she reached the Arrancar, she immediately used sonido to evade her.

"Not bad." She appeared behind Hyokorimaru that came beside me. "Well... since you've gotten so serious, why wouldn't I?" my eyes widened. Was she going to release her Zanpakuto? She stood in front of me and held out her Zanpakuto.

"Heulen, _Vielfrass_!" Oh no, I'm not going to let you! I charged toward her at the same time as Hyokorimaru and a tornado started forming around her. I almost lend a hit on her when the concentration of reiatsu sent me flying back. And I felt my back hit on something hard.

"Argh..." I stood back up with difficulties as debris flew everywhere. I looked back up and saw a wolf type of Hollow. She had long fangs along with long nails, her eyes turned into a bloody piercing red, it sent chills through my spine, and she had all kinds of markings that looked like tattoos on her body. Like the other Hollows, the hole was right in the middle of her chest. I hated the way she looked down at me.

"Hyokorimaru..." I whispered and a huge shadow of a phoenix appeared behind the Hollow. But suddenly, I heard fingers snapping, and at the same time, I heard a lot of growling and Hyokorimaru disappeared from my view. I felt my heart pumping, quick. I charged toward her, but this time at full speed. I felt the cold wind against me, normally, I would've loved it, but now, it got in my way and I hated that. As I reached Deralde, I immediately tried to slash her with the Zanpakuto on my right hand.

_What?_ She just caught my wrist like it was nothing. I frowned. I tried the same thing with my second Zanpakuto. She snapped up her right arm and blocked my attack. I saw her smirk then. I felt my blood starting to boil as her grip on my right wrist tightened every second.

"AHHHH!" my wrist hurt like hell as I let my Zanpakuto fall, only to add weight on my other hand since they were linked by a chain. I think I heard my wrist snap...

"You like it?" her voice was piercing, even more than earlier. I did a side kick, trying to get her to release me, and I succeeded. She flew back into a building. The moment she released my wrist, I felt the pain multiplying. _Damn it._ I ripped off a long part of my haori and tied it around my right hand along with my Zanpakuto so I could keep holding it. _Just ignore the pain, Tsuyuki._ I told myself.

"You shouldn't let your guard down..." What? The moment my ears took in the voice, I felt myself hitting the cold floor. _Argh... Why I'm getting beaten around by an Arrancar._ I hated it. When are we going to get the permission? I was losing patience. I looked back at Hyokorimaru and she was fighting with some Hollows. I frowned.

I stood back up, feeling some liquid leak on my forehead.

"Why don't you release your bankai, kid?" No way. Then I noticed she has just released a cero. I immediately flash stepped away from it and took the chance to slash her from behind.

"Damn you..." she was holding her wounded shoulder. Damn. I was only able to cut out her left arm. "Damn you!" she yelled and charged at me, her nails stretched out. I noticed the sharp ends of them. I prepared myself to block her with my Zanpakuto. But suddenly, a sharp pain in my chest paralyzed me from my movements. I instantly put my left hand over and fell on my knees.

"Ugh..." _Toshiro..._

I didn't forget about the attack coming straight at me, but I could barely move.

"ARGHHH!" Once again, I felt the hard impact I made with the cold ground. I managed to make her miss to vital parts, but blood was gushing out of the wound on my left shoulder that led to my side. My legs and arms started to feel numb then. I tried to stand up, but no chance. So I took my chance before the dust cleared.

"Ametsuchi Hyokorimaru..." I immediately felt the reiatsu rushing in my body. Darkness surrounded me.

**Third Person's POV**

"Ametsuchi Hyokorimaru..." Tsuyuki mumbled as the dust around her cleared and revealed a pair of crystal clear wings on her back as her hands and legs turned into some icy claws, with a piece of cloth tied around her eyes.

As everyone felt the new huge amount of reiatsu, they all looked around to find the captain level reiatsu.

_What's that reiatsu? It's insane!_ Renji thought.

_There's no way... the seal? No..._ Matsumoto thought.

_Tsuyuki..._ Toshiro thought, frowning.

_It's Toshiro? No... It's similar... but different._ Ichigo thought, then he lit up. _No... It can't be her!_

The Arrancar that stood in front of Tsuyuki looked at her, fright written all over.

"Tengoku tsukimono." As Tsuyuki appeared in front of her enemy, she pierced her Zanpakuto through her torso. Ice started to creep over the Arrancar's whole body and the statue broke to pieces immediately after Tsuyuki removed her Zanpakuto.

Tsuyuki let her Zanpakutos fall as the piece of cloth slipped away from her hand, herself followed the Zanpakuto and fell straight on the cold ground when her bankai vanished. Blood started pouring out of her wound again.

_Is... that... the end?_ She asked herself as she started to lose to the darkness. _Kai... Shiro... Ichi... go..._

"Tsuyuki!" Ichigo ran toward her. "Tsuyuki!" he kept calling her name as he subconsciously stepped into a pool of blood. He fell on his knees and let the pain overtake his emotions. He pulled her close to him and kept telling her to hold on, to not give up, but she could not hear him anymore. Her dull eyes told him the same thing, but he didn't care. "Wake up, damn it!" he said, punching the cold floor beneath him.

**Ichigo's POV**

"Tsuyuki!" I saw her lifeless body lie on the cold ground. I felt my heartbeat quicken. "Tsuyuki!" I heard a splashing sound when I stepped at her side. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. I felt my heart stop when I saw her wounds, and the pool of blood we were in... I just fell on my knees, pain washing over me. I tried to pick her up, but the moment I touched her, I felt the same freezing cold I felt last time. She was freezing, and my heart hurt even more to know that I couldn't do anything. I pulled her close to me at that moment, I tried to ignore the freezing feeling. My body kept telling me to let go, but I couldn't, I didn't know why... "Hang on..." I held her tighter. "Don't give up." It hurt me bad to see her like this. I saw her dull eyes, I knew she couldn't hear me... but I couldn't help it. The pain was stronger than anything. She was getting colder and colder, I was afraid.

"Wake up, damn it!" I punched the cold ground beneath me. Why? Why did this happen? Her eyes... it pains me to look at them. My heart is aching so much... Why?

I held her tighter in my arms, I was afraid she would vanish. But why? I felt the tears flow from my eyes subconsciously. Why was I crying? I felt the rain wash over my face as it made my tears invisible. "Tsuyuki... wake up!"

"Ichigo!" I saw Matsumoto bend down, with Toshiro on her back, and Inoue close behind and Rukia beside her. I didn't dare to look at Toshiro's eyes. But I just knew he immediately jumped down and looked at his beloved sister.

"Orihime! Hurry up!" he ordered. I just put Tsuyuki down. My heart was sinking, and I knew it.

"T-Tsuyuki-chan..." Inoue's eyes were wide. I just frowned. She immediately bent down and felt the freezing aura around her. But she ignored it and started healing Tsuyuki, and I felt Rukia's gaze on me...

**Tsuyuki's POV**

It hurt. My shoulder and my side hurt, bad. But somehow, it felt warm. I tried to open my eyes, but my eyelids felt so heavy, so I did the best I could. I could see blurry images of people around me, it was so blurry... I don't know... who they were...

"Shi... ro..." I managed to whisper. _How is he? Is he okay?_

"Tsuyuki! Hang on!" that was when I felt someone holding my hand tightly. It was warm, unlike Shiro's.

"Ichi... go...?" I tried moving my head, but as soon as I did, a sharp pain hit me at the back of my head and then everything went black again...

**One week later**

I felt so warm, so comfortable. I slowly opened my eyes to see a pale ceiling. _Where am I?_ I tried moving my hand, but I felt some weight on it. I felt so weak.

"Tsuyuki!" the voice beside me abruptly pulled me into a tight hug. I immediately recognized the person.

"Toshiro...?" my voice was soar. He pulled away. Then flashbacks of my last fight came back to me. "Y-You're fine..." tears made their way up my eyes.

"Look who's the one to talk." he said. I looked down and tried getting off the bed as he helped me. I moved my arms and legs slowly. I turned my right wrist to see if it was okay. "How do you feel?"

"I guess I'm okay." I replied after I knew I was fully healed. "How long was I out?" I asked him. He frowned.

"A week." He replied. _A week?_ Oh. My. god. How did I let that happen? I looked at him, he seemed to be hiding something from me.

"Is something wrong, Toshiro?" he looked away, his hands falling to his sides.

"No."

"Stop lying."

"..." he mumbled something I didn't catch.

"Excuse me?"

"Ichigo went missing." My eyes widened. What?

"Y-You're kidding, right?" I asked him. He frowned, still looking away. I fell on the bed. "N-No way..." Then a flash of Orihime and Rukia's face came in my mind. "D-Does-"

"No one knows where he is." He stated. My heart sank. Where could he have gone?

"I'm going to look for him!" I ran out of the room, just realizing I was at Orihime's house.

"Tsuyuki!" I heard Toshiro yell after me, but I ignored him. I swallowed the Gikongan that I found in my jacket that was on the couch and left the house. "Tsuyuki!"

_Where have you gone, Ichigo?_ I ran down the streets of Karakura town, jumped over building, asked souls, but I couldn't find him anywhere. I couldn't even feel his reiatsu! As if... as if... he disappeared... No way! I shook the thought off my mind and continued looking.

"Tsuyuki!" I heard Toshiro's voice again. I turned around and he was running toward me. "Gosh, you could've waited for me at least." He skidded to a stop in front of me. I felt that sinking feeling again.

"Toshiro... I... I..." I clenched my fists. "I'm afraid... I'm afraid that... that Ichigo would leave me behind like... Kai..." why was I feeling this way? Why was I being so worried about Ichigo? Why did I have to find him so much?

"_Here." Something soft hit my face and snapped me out of my delusions. I blinked, only to feel something fall in my hands, I looked down to see a white teddy bear in my hands. "I would feel bad if I only got Rukia something." He said, I looked up at him and he was looking away._

"_Thanks." I smiled. It's been a while I haven't gotten so much fun._

I pushed the memory aside. He won't disappear for nothing. He wouldn't.

"Tsuyuki." He put his hands on my shoulder. "He'll come back, safe and sound, okay?" he tried to comfort me. I nodded, looking down. Yes, Ichigo will come back. He will. He wouldn't disappear for nothing. He wouldn't leave... Rukia... and Orihime... alone... Somehow, it hurt when I thought it that way, it was like saying that Ichigo didn't care about me. "Let's just wait until he comes back." Toshiro said, crossing his arms. "And then I'll kick him."

"I'll gladly help!" I laughed at him. I saw him smirk. I suddenly had this crazy idea. I grinned. "Toshiro." He looked at me, curiosity written all over his face. "Let's go somewhere..." I said and dragged him back to Orihime's house so we could get back into our gigais.

I looked through all the shopping bags that were in the visitor's room to find a new outfit I could wear. I took out a black short dress and looked at it...

"_Go, go, go!" Rukia pushed me inside the cabin. "Come out when you're done!"_

_I stood behind the curtains and looked at the outfit Rukia picked out for me. The black tube top dress was totally not my style. I took a closer look at it. It had small white crosses at the bottom edge and the top had white corsets in the front. I frowned. I don't want to wear it._

"_Are you done yet, Tsuyuki?" I heard Rukia yell from the other side._

"_No." Okay, I'm just going to wear it once, so it's fine. I changed into the dress slipped my head out of the curtain._

"_You're done! Come out!" Rukia dragged me out of the cabin and I looked at the mirror beside the curtain. I blushed at the view. I had to say it, it wasn't bad at all. And then I just noticed Ichigo that was behind me. I saw him looking at me from the mirror, eyes wide. He was blushing._

"_Heh...! You look so cute, Tsuyuki!" Rukia said. "Right, Ichigo?" she turned me around, making me face Ichigo. I felt my cheeks heat up even more._

"_Y-Yeah..." he said. "You look amazing..." he whispered. I felt my heartbeat quicken at that moment._

I smiled. I stood up and went into the bathroom to change into the dress. When I came out, Toshiro was waiting for me at the door, he looked at me, his eyes wide open.

"I never would've thought you'd wear a dress..." he blinked. "But you look great in it..." he whispered.

"I heard you!" I blushed. "Anyways, let's go!" I took his hand and headed out.

_To be continued..._


	7. Part 6

xNV: Well, half of this chapter is much much like the 229th and 230th episodes, so I just tried to put most of Tsuyuki's thoughts instead of going in into the episodes detail (I mostly only put dialogs and the less fight I could), so I hope it's not too boring. I was hesitating either inserting this filter or not, but I guess it wouldn't be bad just making it a bit longer, heh? XD And of course, I will be going back into the Arrancar Arc! Just don't know when... (I just can't wait til I know what's going to happen to him!) Well, hope ya'll enjoy this part!

* * *

It had been a while that Ichigo went missing… and that no one had found him yet. Though, this helped me realize the feelings I had for him. Ever since he had gone missing, I felt like some part inside me has been ripped off. I couldn't place that feeling at first, but with the time… I realized that like Rukia and Orihime, I felt like I loved him, that I needed him by my side. It was exactly the same feeling that I had for Kai… yet, as soon as I recognized that feeling… I couldn't help but push it away deeply hidden in me, because I know how Rukia and Orihime feel about him… and I don't want to be part of this…

But I wouldn't be seeing him anytime soon… because we had been called back to Seireitei… Yet, I still want to find him, to see how he's doing, if he's fine or not, healthy or not…

I frowned as I stood in front of the Senkaimon, the gate that would lead us back to the Soul Society. Toshiro stood in front of me, ready to leave the Human world, along with Matsumoto and the others.

"_Hitsugaya-taicho, you are to come back to Seireitei immediately! This is an emergency! We have found a threat roaming around Soul Society, and every shinigami are to come back and help with this matter!" Yamamoto-sotaicho ordered._

"_What? Then what about the Arrancars?" Rukia shrieked, beside me. Yeah, what about them? I thought in my little corner, my eyebrows merging together. Everyone was called into Orihime's place, which means Ikkaku, Yumichika, Rukia, Renji, Toshiro and Matsumoto were there as well. Only Ichigo was missing... we still haven't found any traces about him, it's been almost 4 weeks!_

"_As you have reported, Aizen has shown no activities in the Human World or the Soul Society for these 4 weeks, we believe he wouldn't be doing any actions after losing so many Arrancars for a while." He explained through the huge communicator we had put in Orihime's house._

"_But what if the Arrancars really come back?" Renji asked._

"_We will keep an eye on the Human World. Our priority now is to remove the threat from Soul Society before he goes into the Human World!" he continued._

"_But-" I wanted to say my thoughts._

"_This conversation has ended! You are to immediately leave the Human World and come back to your respective Divisions!" he ordered, leaving us no choice._

"Let's go, Tsuyuki." Toshiro told me, walking through the Senkaimon with the others. Are we really going to leave? We haven't found Ichigo yet… and what if the Human World really gets attacked?

"Tsuyuki-san, please don't worry. I know that Kurosaki-kun will come back soon." I almost forgot about Orihime. I let my bangs overshadow my eyes, hiding my emotions. Yes, I believe he will come back.

"Believe in Ichigo." Rukia told me and put a hand on my shoulder. I looked back at her, showing my mixed emotions that I can't even explain. We walked through the gate, leaving Inoue Orihime alone in her apartment.

Our whole way through the Senkaimon has been silent. I was in no mood of talking. I felt my heart sink as I thought that we had to leave, without even knowing what happened to Ichigo. The fact that I had pushed that feeling aside did not deny the fact that I worried about him though…

"I wonder what's going in Soul Society? There hasn't been any threat appearing in there for a while, so why now?" Matsumoto wondered, cutting me from my thoughts.

"Not that we know more than you." I said, I was in a bad mood, and I know I sounded pissed when I said that, because Matsumoto fell silent after that.

**An hour later**

"Tsuyuki-taicho! You've come back!" Hisagi said, a few subordinates following behind him.

"What is it?" I was annoyed.

"I was asked to fill you in with the information about the new threat." He said as I felt his gaze fall upon me, I felt uncomfortable. I kept walking my way to my office, not bothering to answer him at all.

"You guys can dismiss. Hisagi, you stay." I opened the door of my office, finding everything in its place, exactly the way it was when I left. I walked toward the couch and sat down, Hisagi standing in front of me.

"Speak." I said as he started filling me in with information I barely cared about...

"_You are looking for Ichigo? He hasn't come home for a while." Ishiin-san told me. "But don't worry about it, Tsuyuki-chan! He's probably somewhere, trying to become stronger." I didn't recognize him. He looked so serious, like he was looking far away, unlike his usual self._

"_Ishiin-san?"_

Ichigo, where have you gone? What have you been doing for these weeks? What are you thinking? Don't you think people can grow worried about you? You're just a freaking dumbass. Not bothering to tell us where you went. I clenched my fists subconsciously.

"-cho? Taicho!" I felt someone shaking me violently as I snapped back to reality.

"Oh, sorry." I said. "What were you saying?"

"Well, since a week or two, we have found some injured or even dead shinigami all around Seireitei. But no traces have been found for some reasons. But most of all, the injured shinigami have _lost_ they're Zanpakuto." What? Lost? How can they lose their Zanpakuto?

"This situation is getting worst, this is why Yamamoto-sotaicho has called for you guys to come back."

"Do you know anything else about it? Have you asked anything to the injured shinigami?"

"No. It seems that there is something keeping them in a coma-like state." This makes things harder to investigate... Sheesh.

"Let's go, Hisagi." I stood up and exited the room, my vice-captain following close behind.

"Hum... Taicho, you seem bothered about something." He pointed out. "Is it about that shinigami representative?" I stopped in my tracks.

"What do you mean?" my voice was at the edge of trembling, I tried to keep it steady, not letting any emotions through my barrier.

"No. Never mind." How dare he? Asking my something and pushing it aside after.

"You ARE my fukutaicho. It is only at our advantage to open to each other." I told him, turning around and looking up at him. He took a deep breath and looked at me.

"You have been spacing out ever since you came back to Seireitei. And whenever this happens, the area around you fills with a cold aura, as if something was making you mad." He said. How did he- "Even though we haven't been together for long, every time, when there's something bothering the captain, the fukutaicho will know it." He said. "Especially when your characteristics resemble so much to Hitsugaya-taicho of the 10th Division." He pointed out. I didn't know what to say, nor what to think. I sighed, maybe I was really getting over-worried about Ichigo after all. I've grown too attached to him, but why? We haven't been long together, so why?

"ARGHHH!" What? Where? I turned my head left and right, trying to find were the corruption came from. I immediately jumped over the wall that separated me and the other shinigami, with Hisagi close behind me. As I passed the wall, I saw a dozen of shinigami lying on the ground, some slowly vanishing in the thin air. I landed on the ground and looked at the scene before me. There was another shinigami... he looked like he was _struggling_ against his Zanpakuto, that was aimed at his own neck. I frowned.

"You there! What are you doing?" I yelled as he looked at me.

"H-Hitsugaya-taicho! H-Help!" I saw his blood splatter all around as his Zanpakuto fell on the ground. My eyes widened.

"What the hell?" I mumbled.

"W-What was that?" Hisagi yelled, taken by surprise. I've never seen this. What's wrong in Soul Society? Suddenly, the Zanpakuto that was on the ground rose in the air and headed towards me. What? I immediately unsheathed Hyokorimaru that was in my left hand and slashed through the Zanpakuto, that fell on the ground, broken in two.

What the hell? The Zanpakuto just killed its own master, and now it's attacking shinigami? What is truly happening? I held Hyokorimaru tightly in my right hand.

_Tsuyuki..._

I heard a familiar voice in the back of my head, calling for me.

"Taicho!" I heard Hisagi's voice fading.

In a matter of second, everything around me blacked out, when I re-opened my eyes, I found myself in a familiar place.

"Hyokorimaru?" I called out as my Zanpakuto disappeared and formed into an ice Phoenix. My voice resonated in the ice cavern I stood in. She stood in the air, in front of me, her wings flapping in their own graceful way. "What's happening, Hyokorimaru?" I asked her. Her head stretched toward me, I reached out to touch her.

My eyes widened at what had just happened. She had broken to shards just when my fingers brushed against her beak. "Hyokorimaru...?"

The place around me just turned back normal, I felt that my head was against something warm, and that there were two hands on my back. I looked up, to see Hisagi looking down at me, concern written all over his face.

"Taicho! You scared me! You just blanked out for a minute!" I just noticed that I was still holding Hyokorimaru. I stood back up straight and held her in front of me, concern and worry mixing over me. "Taicho?" I sheathed back Hyokorimaru in her sheath.

"No, it's nothing." I should go talk to Toshiro about it. "Hisagi, go over to Unohana-taicho to fetch some information about the wounded men. I need to have a talk with Hitsugaya-taicho." I was about to flash step my way to the 10th Division when a hell butterfly flew by.

"An emergency meeting?" Hisagi said. I clenched Hyokorimaru tightly. What's going on? We are missing so much information!

"Taicho-"

"Let's go." He nodded and we made our way toward the Soukyoku Hill. Why would Yamamoto-sotaicho hold a meeting so late at this time?

"Tsuyuki-taicho!" I looked around. Everyone was there, even Ikkaku, Yumichika and Rukia, it looked like we were the last one to arrive and then I just noticed that Yamamoto-sotaicho wasn't there yet.

"What's going on?" Hisagi asked as I stayed silent. The fog was getting thicker and thicker. I closed my eyes, they would only get in my way with this fog. I tried to listen for any new noise. I heard slow footsteps come by as I opened my eyes to see the fog slowly dissipating.

"Sasakibe-fukutaicho, what's going on?" Kira yelled as I turned around to see everyone facing the same way I did. "Where's the sotaicho?" he asked. I looked at him, his hand was stretching in front, toward us, as if he was calling out for help.

My eyes widened as the 1st Division's vice-captain fell down. A few fukutaicho ran toward him as some shinigami gasped. The area tensed, I put my hand on the hilt of my Zanpakuto, preparing for any surprise attack, I looked around.

"Hgn." I immediately turned around, along with the others. A man stood in front of us. I frowned. The aura around him did not feel like a shinigami's, nor an Arrancar's. What is he…?

"Your sotaicho won't be joining you." What is he talking about? He must be provoking us, right? I looked closer, analyzing the details. He had tattoos around his eyes, his fingernails as long as his forearm. I've never seen him before.

"Who the hell are you?" Toshiro growled. Matsumoto, Kiyone and Sentaro appeared in front of us, ready to assault. A devilish grin appeared on the unknown man's face. My grip on Hyokorimaru tightened as Komamura Sajin appeared in front of him. I had a bad feeling about it. Very bad. For sure, he was a new enemy, but we knew nothing about him, well, that's what I think.

"You said the sotaicho won't be coming, did you?" his edgy voice said, the place felt even tenser than earlier.

"Taicho!" Tetsuzaemon yelled.

"Scum! What are you done to Genryuusai-dono?" he asked. He had his back to us, but his expression was obvious. "No answer? Then, I'll force you to answer!" By then, I knew the captain of the 7th Division had unsheathed his Zanpakuto as the mysterious ryoka flipped back, away from the oncoming danger. And then Komamura stretched his hand out as a wind of reiatsu started blowing toward us. I tried to fight against the wind as it blew against me.

"Bankai!" My eyes widened, he wasn't planning to fight him now, was he? "Kokujou Tengen Myou-Ou!" his Zanpakuto materialized into its bankai form in front of everyone. By then, the wind has stopped blowing. "You will tell me where Genryuusai-dono is!"

"That attack won't hurt me." The man looked so indifferent. Wouldn't he be the least bit worried? Come on, it's a Captain's bankai we are talking about here! This is no game! Or is he mocking us? My blood was starting to boil in my veins. _He definitely IS mocking us. Bastard!_

"Ridiculous!" Sajin-taicho probably thought the same thing. I saw him rise up his Zanpakuto, the same way his materialized form did. But... wait! Something seems off!

"Look out!"

_As I passed the wall, I saw a dozen of shinigami lying on the ground, some slowly vanishing in the thin air. I landed on the ground and looked at the scene before me. There was another shinigami... he looked like he was struggling against his Zanpakuto, that was aimed at his own neck. I frowned._

"_You there! What are you doing?" I yelled as he looked at me._

"_H-Hitsugaya-taicho! H-Help!" I saw his blood splatter all around as his Zanpakuto fell on the ground. _

My eyes widened. The same kind of scene was happening again.

"What just happened?" I saw the captain standing back up, right beside the huge katana his Zanpakuto held. I swore my heart skipped a beat. Why would a Zanpakuto attack its own master?

"His Zanpakuto attacked its own master?"

"Impossible."

"What the hell just happened?"

"Now, isn't this fascinating."

"_Well, since a week or two, we have found some injured or even dead shinigami all around Seireitei. But no traces have been found for some reasons. But most of all, the injured shinigami have lost they're Zanpakuto." What? Lost? How can they lose their Zanpakuto?_

Is that what has caused everything? Could this man be the reason to it? Lost in my thoughts, I suddenly felt a blow of wind on me, Hisagi stood in front of me, his hand stretched out protectively, along with Toshiro. Gosh, do I really need THAT MUCH protection?

I looked forward, noticing that the huge Zanpakuto has disappeared, only to have some other person appearing behind the kneeling 7th captain. He too, looked huge, his size easily outgrew Komamura's. It just reminded me of Jidanbo for some reason.

"Who in blazes are you?" he yelled, noticing the being behind him. It blew some fire out of its mouth. Then it lit. "Are you Tengen-?" but before he could continue, the guy slashed down the katana at him. Komamura barely blocked it. I watched the scene, my eyes wide, shock keeping me speechless.

I couldn't believe it. Komamura lost. Was that even possible? Toshiro jumped up in the air, ready to summon his shikai.

"Souten ni Zase, Hyourinmaru!"

I unsheathed Hyokorimaru and put my hand over the tip of the blade.

"Tengoku to chikyuu o tsunagi, Hyokorimaru!" a small wind started to form around...

… What…?

What the heck? Nothing happened! I looked at Hyokorimaru, my eyes wide and frowning. It stayed like nothing happened.

"Why can't I go into shikai?" I looked at the blade of my Zanpakuto. "What's going on?"

"It's quite simple." I looked at the culprit. I started feeling the temperature around me drop. "Your Zanpakuto are no longer with you. I freed them from you shinigamis."

He freed them? How can that be done? He must be bluffing! On the other side... I looked at Hyokorimaru, my expression dropping even more. When I looked back up, blood slid down his cheek like crimson tears. He made an arm movement and some area behind him, of Seireitei, started exploding.

I gasped.

"What did you do?" I heard Renji's voice.

"It wasn't me." Then who? "Your Zanpakuto did it themselves." No way! They would never do that! "They have been freed from your imprisonment." Once again, he had that devilish grin on his face. I totally hated it. His evil laugh echoed through my ears. I looked down at Seireitei, everything was being destroyed. Is this really the doing of our Zanpakuto? The Zanpakuto that were once our comrades… our best friend…? "This is merely a greeting." He wiped the blood away. "This is so you will understand how powerful my comrades are." He turned around, his back facing us. "Behold the true forms of the Zanpakuto you thought you owned." I can't believe it. I can't believe what he just said, that's totally nonsense...

"Kisama...!" I ran toward him, I wasn't able to hold it back anymore, I thought I was going to explode, the cold and hot mixing in my blood.

"Tsuyuki!"

"Tsuyuki-taicho!"

I ignored everyone and jumped into the air. I wanted to slash this man in two more than everything. And nothing will stop me!

My Zanpakuto, no, my... katana, it pained me to say it, but I felt no more reiatsu in it, I stopped it in mid air when two unfamiliar, yet familiar women appeared in front of me, protecting that ryoka.

"We won't let you hurt Muramasa-san." What? Am I dreaming? Did a Zanpakuto just appear in their hand? They slashed it up at me, I immediately blocked it with my katana, but its power was too great, I felt myself flying backwards.

"ARGHHH!" I hit the cold ground. It should have been painful, but I guess I was so pissed I couldn't even feel it, my limbs were feeling numb from my anger. How can I get pushed back so easily? Most of all... who are they?

"Tsuyuki!" Toshiro and Hisagi were trying to help me up.

"Let go! I'm fine!" I snatched away from their grip, subconsciously glaring at them.

"Who on Earth are you?" Byakuya asked. That's when I noticed the countless people... or Zanpakuto that stood by the mysterious man's side...

"My name is... Muramasa." I'm going to engrave his name into my brain. Until the day he dies. I clenched my empty Zanpakuto. "Tonight brings the end of Shinigami rule." He paused. "From now on, the Zanpakuto will rule over the Shinigami!" I looked at him as a Zanpakuto appeared in his hand. He planted it on the ground as I felt the ground beneath me shaking horribly. From the earth appeared a wall between us and the Zanpakuto.

Everyone stood motionless as the Zanpakuto stood in front of us, all standing over the wall. They looked down at us, yes. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down, but failed. All the Zanpakuto have materialized into human forms.

"The Zanpakuto will rule over the Shinigami?" my brain recognized Ukitake's voice. "What's that supposed to mean?" I felt my hand shake from how strong I held the hilt of my katana.

"Exactly what it sounds like." Muramasa smirked. "I told you, I've already freed your Zanpakuto." Gosh! Does he have to repeat it? My efforts were in vain, my blood kept boiling, and the temperature around me kept dropping.

"I'm taking this conversation about Zanpakuto seriously, but where is Yama-jii?" Shunsui-taicho asked walking forward. "Yama-jii's the one who summoned us here." He stopped after a few steps. "Now will you tell us where he is?" he said, holding his straw hat. I stood up straight and took a step forward.

"We've locked Yamamoto Genryuusai away." What? Something was wrong, definitely wrong. He seemed to answer us so willingly that it's unnatural. "His Zanpakuto, Ryuujin Jakka, was unwilling to join force with us." He explained. "So your Zanpakuto, Katen Kyoukotsu, Sougyo no Kotowari and Minazuki, sealed him away with their reiatsu." Is that even possible?

"What?"

"This can't be! You can't seal the sotaicho!" Soi Fon was as shocked as the rest of us. "Is that even possible?"

"This is most intriguing."

"You can't expect us to believe this."

"It doesn't matter whether you believe me or not. It's reality."

Ikkaku ran toward Muramasa and was about to attack him. But then, a Zanpakuto, I suppose, appeared and blocked his katana.

"Kyouraku-taicho! Ukitake-taicho! Any further conversation's a waste of time!" for once, I agreed with Ikkaku.

"Kyouraku!" Ukitake took his battle stance.

I immediately leapt forward as I had my chance. But those twins, once again, got in my way. _This is bad_. I was in a bad position, in mid-air. I felt the panic rising in me... Wait!

"Hadou 33, Soukatsui!" I aimed my fingertips at them.

My eyes widened as one disappeared and it missed the other. Then I felt two tips of Zanpakuto aiming at me.

"Tsuyuki!" Someone took me by my waist and flash stepped away. I looked beside to see Toshiro, I immediately looked away. Why do I always need help from others? Can't I take care of myself? Will I die if no one helped me? Am I that weak?

"Let go." I spat at him for the second time. I felt venom dripping off my voice.

"What?" I could hear his expression, it sounded shocked.

"I said. !" I pushed him away, letting my eyes hide behind the shadow.

"What's wrong with you, Tsuyuki?" I don't feel like myself anymore. I suddenly felt as if my body didn't belong to me anymore. It was like I was being consumed by something...

"Tsuyuki!"

_To be continued..._


	8. Part 7

"_Child, awaken me." I looked around, everything was dark, I couldn't see a thing._

"_Who are you? Where are you?"_

"_Awaken me. I am _." What? I can't hear her._

"_Huh?"_

"_Call out for my name, _!" What is she saying?_

"_I can't hear you!"_

"_It seems like it, sadly. You are not ready. When you will be ready, you will catch my name. As for now, fight! Fight! FIGHT!"_

I snapped up, my eyes wide. _It was a dream... Hyokorimaru..._ I felt beads of sweat all over me. I let my eyes adjust to the penetrating light and looked around. _I'm in the 4__th__ Division's barracks..._

What happened? Why can't I remember?

"Ah, Tsuyuki-san, you've finally awoken." I recognized Unohana-taicho's voice. I looked at the door.

"Unohana-taicho?" I was so confused. What on Earth happened?

"Your expression is telling me that you are asking yourself what happened." She stated, looking at me. I looked at her eyes, I felt so comfortable under her gaze. I nodded.

"It seems that you lost control of yourself after the Zanpakuto's rebellion." What? I lost control of myself? I just noticed there was a bed beside me as she turned her head to look at it. I looked closer and I saw...

N-No way... T-Toshiro?

"Unohana-taicho! Please tell me what happened!" I begged her, worry and curiosity washed over me. Please god, tell me I'm not the one who did that. Please!

She looked back at me.

"Tsuyuki-taicho, do you really not remember anything about it?" I thought hard, I dug into my memories, but I can't seem to remember about anything. Then I heard her sigh as I gave up thinking about what happened. "I'm sorry. But I don't know much either about it. Hitsugaya-taicho came back with wounds all over him and he was carrying you on his back." I looked over to Toshiro's sleeping figure. "I believe it will be an appropriate moment to talk with him when he wakes up."

"Were his wounds...?" I couldn't finish it.

"No, it's nothing to worry about." She smiled warmly at me, I was relieved to know that Toshiro wasn't in life danger. "I will have to go now, many other patients are waiting for me." I nodded as she exited the room. As she did, I pulled off the sheets and stood up. I made my way toward Toshiro's bed.

"Toshiro? Can you hear me?" I'm been so silly. "Of course you can't..." I looked at his pale face. "I... I don't know what happened back there... but I've got that... tingly feeling that you're lying here because of me." I bit my lips. I was not going to cry. Not again. "So, hurry up and wake up and tell me it's not my fault..." I thought about what I had just said. "I hope..." I whispered.

"Tsuyuki-chan?" I looked up at the doorway.

"Kyouraku-taicho? Ukitake-taicho?" why were they here?

"Hitsugaya-taicho? What happened to him?" he walked in with Ukitake-taicho, their faces told me they were shocked.

"I... I don't know..." I felt their eyes on me, but I didn't dare to look back, neither look at Toshiro.

"Why don't we have a walk, Tsuyuki-chan? It might help you getting your mood back."

"I guess." I followed them out and followed close behind them. Then a question suddenly popped in my head. "Hum... Kyouraku-taicho, Ukitake-taicho, why are you both in the 4th Division?" I asked, ignorant of what was happening.

"Well, if you take a good look at Seireitei, a huge part of it has been destroyed b y the Zanpakuto. Gladly, the 4th Division stayed intact, so we decided to use the 4th Division as our headquarters for now." Oh. That's why. I looked up at the sky, I couldn't believe it. We were ruining such a beautiful day under war.

"Taicho!" Hm? It sounds so familiar. "Taicho!" I turned around to see Hisagi running toward me.

"Hisagi?" I looked at him. "You look in a rush."

"T-The 9th Division! The shinigamis have been engulfed in ice!" What? Don't tell me...

"Kyouraku-taicho, Ukitake-taicho! Please excuse me!" I ran away, back into the room to take back my empty Zanpakuto, and toward my Division, with Hisagi following close behind. The image of Hyokorimaru kept flashing in my mind, I just hope it's not her doing!" I passed a few deserted places in Seireitei, I even saw some shinigamis fighting with their own Zanpakuto. How could a lone Zanpakuto bring so much chaos into Soul Society?

I finally arrived to my destination, the cold air around felt so familiar, yet so distant. I looked behind the open gate, ice was all around the place, I could even see some statues. I clenched my fists, holding tightly my katana.

"It's not possible..." I whispered.

Hyokorimaru, is that really your work? Is it really what you wish for? Total chaos? Are you the same one I've met a few years ago?

"Taicho, everyone in the 9th Division are trapped inside, if we don't save them-" How? How can I save them? I walked slowly forward, toward the closest ice statue. The whole place was filled with fog, I couldn't even recognize my own division...

"Hisagi! No!" My eyes widened as I saw Hisagi try to break through the ice with his Zanpakuto. I immediately held it back before he did something wrong.

"We need to break them! They'll die freezing!" he said.

"No. If you do that, you'll break them into pieces as well." He looked at me, confused. "There's no way out. They are done for, the only one who can release them without hurting them is the wielder of this Zanpakuto..." I explained. As Hisagi lowered his sword, I heard clapping palms, which immediately withdrew my attention toward the top of the main gate of the 9th Division.

"Who are you?" Hisagi yelled, standing protectively in front of me. I recognized them. They were the twins I saw earlier.

"Hisagi, it's okay." I slowly pushed him aside, standing in front. I took a good look at them. They looked beautiful in their kimono. Their bright and pale blue hair was half tied back, leaving half of it down. The look they held in their blue eyes frightened me, it held no compassion, only hatred and bloodlust.

"Who are you? You've been trying to interrupt me in all of my acts."

"Don't you recognize us? How sad. We've known each other for so long..." one said, bringing up her katana and pointing it at me from the top of the building. We've known each other for so long?

"Tsuyuki, are you sure you don't know who we are? Why don't you take a closer look?" I felt my heart skip some beats when one of them disappeared. Where did she-

"Taicho!" she stood an inch from my face, her eyes looking into mine. It was so mesmerizing I almost missed feeling the tip of her finger on my heart. She was smirking.

"Hisagi! Leave!"

"But-"

"Leave! This is an order!" he didn't obey, instead, he dashed toward the other twin and started fighting with her. I frowned.

"So? Have you guessed, kid?" she grab my chin and got closer again, I turned back my attention toward her. I smirked. Why wouldn't I know? I was too dumb to notice that so late.

"Hyokorimaru." A burst of wind suddenly blew at me as the girl in front of me disappeared in it. I tried to keep my stance against the wind as I tried to look through my hands. What was happening? I felt two blades at my neck, I felt my heartbeat racing, I tried to keep my cool. The fog caused by the wind finally cleared. I saw them, holding their katana at my neck. My eyes widened as Hisagi was nowhere to be found, so I tried feeling his reiatsu. Gladly, I felt it, but it was mixing up with another's. He was probably brought into another fight.

"It's the end, Tsuyuki. You get distracted too easily." They both pointed out. I let my Zanpakuto fall and lifted my hands, their expression on their faces changed as I held the blades away from my neck with my hands. I felt the pressure against my palm strengthen, but I tried to ignore the pain.

"Don't get so full of yourselves. I haven't done a thing yet." I ducked down, releasing both katana at the same time, making them lose balance and spun with my right leg out, attempting to kick them. They both claimed back their balance and jumped away. "Aren't you guys the one who gets distracted easily? You could've killed me easily when you had the chance." I took back my katana and unsheathed it and took my battle stance.

"You won't stand a chance against us."

"You shinigami rely too much on us, Zanpakutos."

Me? Rely too much on them? Is that what I really did? No, I'm sure it's not true. I waited for them to take the first move. But none moved.

"Why are you standing there? Aren't you planning to fight us?" an amused voice said. I looked over at the twin that stood in front of me. It was obvious, I felt her sister running toward me, I immediately blocked it with my Zanpakuto, causing a loud clashing sound, half a second after, the other came after me, I jumped away. Actually, I have to admit I wasn't in the mood of fighting.

"Don't get lazy. Get up and FIGHT!" they ordered me. Well, if that's what they want, I can't escape from it I guess. I stood up straight, they looked at me confused, I smirked, they let their guard down. I smirked and flash stepped behind the eldest of the sister and attempted a hit at her. She blocked it barely with both her hands, being shocked by my sudden attack. I attacked her with the sheath that I still had in my left hand and she flew back. The next one ran furiously at me as she lifted down the sword about to cut me in two. I took her wrist to stop her and kicked her back.

"I thought you'd be stronger than that." I provoked them. They both immediately charged at me. I tried to evade every attack, flash stepping from left to right, in front to behind. Well, I guess I shouldn't have provoked them. Makes me harder to fight back. Suddenly, a foot kicked me yards away from my fighting place as I hit the cold ice floor. Ouch. I stood up and wiped the blood away from my lips. When I looked back to where they were, they were nowhere to be found. Shit. I immediately tried to look everywhere, but from the corner of my eyes, I saw a blade directed at my heart from behind. _How am I going to dodge? She's too close!_

"Argk..." I held the new wound of my shoulder. I frowned. I would've died if I didn't move away. Even a bit. I crouched down and puked some substance. I looked on the floor to see that it was blood.

"I guess I shouldn't have underestimated you guys..." Suddenly, I heard an explosion somewhere close, and I felt a familiar fading reiatsu close by. _Rukia?_ I felt my heart racing. I looked at my Zanpakuto's materialized forms and back to where the explosion occurred. Should I finish my fight? Should I go find Rukia? I didn't know what to do. I held my sword tightly. An image of Ichigo flashed through my thoughts.

That's when I noticed the two women holding the palms of their free hands out. I felt my eyebrows merging together. I held the hilt of my Zanpakuto tightly. Ice appeared and was going toward me. My body tensed as it got closer and closer. I held up my Zanpakuto and blocked the ice, making me slide backwards. When it stopped pushing, I lifted my Zanpakuto and cut them down. I lifted my left hand and pointed at the twins a few yards away from me.

"Bakudou 61, Rokujyoukourou..." six rods of light appeared and bound them together, making their katana fall in the process. I let my arm down and looked at them.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" I frowned. I can't finish the fight now. I don't want to let Rukia die. I'll come back and finish our fight.

I ran away, toward the place where I felt the tiny bit of Rukia's reiatsu. "Hey! Don't run away!"

I arrived to the battling scene. No. I didn't get there. I just watched the scene in front of me. Ichigo... Ichigo was in front of me. And Rukia was in his arms. I felt my heart sinking. I felt my heart stop. I didn't want to look. Why did I have to see this? Why did I choose to butt into Rukia's fight? Was this... a bad choice? Ichigo... was I wrong? No... I was right... You only love Rukia... there's no way you'd like someone like me... I let my empty Zanpakuto fall on the ground as my grip on my bloody shoulder tightened. Hyokorimaru... why aren't you here now? Why aren't you here when I need you...? I felt my legs shaking, so badly, I felt salty water slide down my cheeks. Why did I have hope? No. I shouldn't have hope.

I took back my empty Zanpakuto and walked back to the destroyed 9th Division. I wasn't expecting anything, but then, I noticed both Hyokorimaru sitting on the roof, looking at me.

"How dare you run away!" I wasn't in any mood. I just wanted to finish our fight quick. I flash stepped to their place and kicked one of them down.

"Sister!" one yelled. "Why, you!" she took her Zanpakuto and jumped on me. I slashed her torso and flash stepped on the floor.

"Sis!" I saw her catch her sister as she fell down. "Sis, let's do it!" I looked at them enlacing their fingers together and closing their eyes.

"Bankai." Once again, the wind blew violently and fiercely at me, but I stood on my spot easily, not forcing at all.

I looked at the huge ice phoenix in front of me. Sitting on its head were the twins. They both had one of their hands chained to each of the phoenix's claw. I looked at it as it flew toward me. It kept releasing ice, freezing the place as I kept dodging. I couldn't let myself get trapped into that ice. I tried sending them some lightning balls, but they dodged them easily, like it was a baby game. I was getting tired quickly, because of the constant blood lost. I finally stopped at a corner, trying to catch my breath.

The image of Rukia and Ichigo kept coming back to my mind, I somehow have to STOP thinking about it.

"AHHHHH!" I felt myself hit a wall, and then on a floor. I was starting to feel numb. I tried to look for the giant phoenix, but my vision was getting blurry by the second. But before I could do anything, I felt a sharp pain on my torso, it felt cold, I looked up to see the twins grinning in front of me. I saw them bend down, and I took my chance. No, I took my last chance. I gripped them weakly on their kimono.

"What do you think you're trying to do? You're half dead. You can't do anything!" One said, but not bothering to remove my hand from her kimono. I concentrated the last bit of my reiatsu on the palm of my hands.

"Don't... be so... sure..." they were still unaware of what was happening as they frowned and looked at me. "Hadou... 33... Souka...tsui..." I mumbled.

"Oh, no!" their eyes widened and tried to get away from my grip before it was too late, but they didn't make it in time. The blue ball blew on them and they disappeared into thin air. I looked as my Zanpakuto appeared lying in front of me. I weakly put my hand on its blade. I could feel the reiatsu in it once again.

_Hyokorimaru..._

"Let's bring her to the 4th Division!" I heard their voice again. What the hell? I felt someone pick me up and put me on their back. I tried to get a closer look as my eyes started to droop.

"Hyokori... maru...?"

"That's us." They both replied. I stayed silent the whole way as they both walked toward the mentioned Division. I felt so tired, so drained out. I let my head fall on her shoulder and tried to breathe normally. It felt warm, even though I was on an ice body.

"Tsuyuki?" I heard Ukitake's familiar voice. He was always so worried about the others. "Put her down! Immediately!" I felt myself on something soft, comfortable.

"AHHHH!" I felt this cold hand on my torso, it hurt bad. Why didn't I feel this pain earlier? I gripped the forearm of the person who was pressing on my wound and dug my nails in, subconsciously. "S-Stop it! It hurts! It's burning!" My grip tightened every second as the density of the burning feeling grew every second.

"You both, go find Unohana-taicho!" I heard Ukitake's voice again. The burning feeling stopped growing, but I still felt it, it hurt and I hated it.

"Poor her... she just woke up and look at her now..." I heard Kyouraku.

"It's no good! Unohana-taicho is healing Rukia-san!" Rukia? There was this voice inside my head telling me to hate her, despise her. I tried to ignore it, but the images of Ichigo and Rukia kept playing back in my mind.

"Kuchiki-san? Is she okay?" Why does everyone only cares about Rukia? Why?

Suddenly, a familiar darkness enveloped me, what was… happening…?

"Tsuyuki-taicho!"

**Four days later**

I hear noises. I heard people talking. I hear running noises. It's all blending in together. My eyes are so heavy. I tried to open them, but a flashing light blinded me, I lifted up my arm to hide the sun from shining into my eyes.

"Tsuyuki!" Who? Who is calling me? I turned around to see a pair of twins. It's Hyokorimaru. "Oh my god! We really thought that you were a goner!" I kept my place. I let the past days' memories play back in my mind before reacting. I put my other hand on my torso, it was perfectly healed.

"Are you okay? Why don't you speak?" the other twin said.

"Again..." I said as I remembered about the missing part of my memory.

"Heh?" I sighed as I remembered about Rukia and Ichigo. _Get over it, Tsuyuki..._ I told myself. I held the necklace that Toshiro gave me when we were in the Human World tightly. _I still have Toshiro._ Why do I over react every time something comes up about Ichigo? It's not like... no, don't think that way, Tsuyuki. You don't like him anymore! He's already gotten Rukia. Yes, he's already gotten Rukia.

"-yuki!" I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard my Zanpakuto call my name.

"Hm? What is it?" I asked, finally sitting up after 10 minutes of lying down on the bed.

"Oh, it's nothing." I glared at them and then looked at myself. I was wearing a white kimono.

"I'll go get changed." I said as I went over to the table and took the shihakusho that was neatly folded and changed.

"Where do you plan on going, Tsuyuki?" my Zanpakuto asked me. I looked at the sun outside for a moment before looking back at her.

"I don't know." I said, picking up my Zanpakuto. I slowly walked out and continued my way toward an unknown destination.

I was walking down the hall of the 4th Division with Hyokorimaru, pacing in my own mind, until I bumped into someone and fell on my butt.

"Ow..." I whined, rubbing my butt.

"Need help?" That voice...! I immediately looked up to see Ichigo. I looked away, not wanting to meet his gaze.

"I-I'm sorry." I stood back up by myself and dusted myself off. His expression told me he was taken aback because of my refusal.

"Looks like you're up and well." He said.

"Hello, Ichigo-kun." Both twins said in unison.

Wait… How did they know him? Oh wait... they are my Zanpakuto, it's not weird about it.

"Oh hey, Mizui, Samui." What? I looked back and forth between Ichigo and my Zanpakuto.

"Oh, sorry, we forgot to tell you... MY name's Mizui!"

"I'm Samui." They presented themselves. Okay, that I understand, but Ichigo knows them? How?

"Tsuyuki! You look so lost! Let us explain!" I saw Ichigo's eyes widened at that moment, he was about to protest but Samui held him down. "You see, while you were unconscious, Ichigo came to visit you. That's how we met him." He seemed to calm down as he stopped fighting back. "He was worried sick about you!" I felt a bit of joy growing in my heart. He jumped up and turned me back around, making me face him.

"It's not true!" That hurt. It hurt really. I looked down. "Yeah, I was worried, but I mean, you're my friend, right?" Yeah. I'm your friend. Tsuyuki, don't forget, Ichigo is your friend.

"I understand." I mumbled. "Now, if you please excuse me..." I said, turning around, about to walk away.

"Wait!" I felt him take my wrist and pull me into a hug.

"I'm sorry... and I mean it. I was worried about you, please don't scare me like those times again." I felt his arms around me tighten. It felt comfortable, I stood there, not knowing how to react, I only let my tears fall down. But then, I just remembered about Rukia, about what I had seen a few days ago, I tried wiping away the tears and I pushed Ichigo away from me.

_To be continued..._


	9. Part 8

"I'm sorry... and I mean it. I was worried about you, please don't scare me like those times again." I felt his arms around me tighten. It felt comfortable, I stood there, not knowing how to react, I only let my tears fall down. But then, I just remembered about Rukia, about what I had seen a few days ago, I tried wiping away the tears and I pushed Ichigo away from me.

I kept looking at the ground, I didn't want to look up at him, I didn't want him to see my eyes.

"Tsuyuki?" his voice sounded so lost, I could even hear the tiny bit of sadness inside.

"Ichigo, I'm happy that you worry about me... but your first priority... isn't me..." I looked up, tears welling in my eyes. I bit my lips, I clenched my fists, I did everything to hold back my tears.

"What do you mean?" he held my shoulders. I turned away, out from his reach.

"I mean what I mean..." I heard my voice cracking down. I was about to walk away when he held me back once again.

"I won't let you leave until you make it clear." He pointed out.

"There's no point to it." I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "Rukia has been doing everything for you, Orihime... she's been in love with you for so long... you shouldn't be bothering with me." My heart sank at what I said myself. I let my tears flow down and pulled away easily from his grasp. I ran away, Mizui and Samui following behind me. I wished to hear footsteps from Ichigo. But I heard none. It saddened me, but I knew it was good. I don't want to make things worse.

"Mizui, Samui, I need to be alone..." I told them when I reached a clearing in a forest nearby Seireitei.

"But-"

"Let's go, Mizui." I slid down against a tree and formed myself into a little ball, hugging my legs and hiding my face in between them. I cried silently in my little corner.

It hurt me so much to not be able to admit my love for him. It was hard to accept it when Rukia and Orihime love him so much. It was painful to tell him those stuffs. I am hurting myself, I am breaking myself, and I know it. Why? Why did I have to fall in love with him? Did I not have any choices?...

Kai... where are you? Are you happy wherever you are...? Tell me what do to, Kai... Tell me I have choices... Tell me that it's not true that I've fallen in love with him... I thought the only one I loved... was you... was it not?...

"_Ichigo! Hurry up! Don't make me late!" I looked up at the window of the Kurosaki residence. ".GO!"_

"_Yeah, yeah! Stop yelling!" my carrot head friend came out from his house, still holding a bread piece in his hand and then putting it in his mouth._

"_Gosh, I wish I didn't have to come over every morning..." we walked side by side, our hands almost touching._

"_I'm sorry. But you don't have to, it's not like I'm going to get lost on my way to school." I looked away. I wanted to._

"_Kurosaki-kun!" I saw Orihime standing a few meters away from us, waving her hand at us. "Tsuyuki-chan!"_

"_Hey Orihime." We both said in unison. She smiled and walked by Ichigo's side. To tell you the truth, I felt kind of jealous. They have known both for years, and I've just came to Karakura a year ago. I walked quicker, leaving them both behind me._

"_Hum... Kurosaki-kun..." she talked with a very low voice, but somehow, I could hear her._

"_What is it?" there was a pause, but I didn't look back, it was probably something private, and I knew what it was about._

"_Ichigo! Orihime!" I turned around and stopped. "I'm going ahead!" I turned and ran away, my heart racing as fast as my legs. I held the handle of my school bag tightly. It was going to be hard._

_I slammed the class' door open, I crouched down and breathed heavily from running too much._

"_Tsuyuki-chan! You're all sweaty! Did you run?" Do I look like I've NOT ran?_

"_Chizuru, doesn't it look obvious to you?" Tatsuki's voice rang. Thank you. I walked to my seat, unpacked my school bag and waited patiently for the teacher. I tried to anyways. The thought of Ichigo and Orihime kept coming back into my mind. Not even 10 minutes after I entered the class, the door slid open. There I saw Rukia, Orihime and Ichigo. Oh great, now Rukia is here too. I looked down. I wonder if Orihime really told Ichigo this morning. Haha. I'm so stupid, of course she confessed! I remember that, a few days ago, Rukia and Orihime came looking for me, and of course, they weren't together. They both told me that they wanted to confess to Ichigo. I sighed. There's no chance for me. I looked at Ichigo, he looked back at me. The look on his face made me look away. I was so close to the three of them… I didn't want anything to change between us._

_I immediately left class at lunch time. I needed some time alone, to rethink everything._

"_Tsuyuki!" I looked back, Ichigo was following close behind. "Can I have lunch with you?" I blushed. It was not every day that this happened, he would usually get stuck with Orihime or Rukia every day. I reluctantly accepted, part of my mind denying, part of my heart dying for it. We sat down on a bench, I ate my bento quietly. "Orihime and Rukia confessed to me." I stopped. Why did he tell me that? I tried to keep my cool. But I felt my heart racing even more than this morning, I thought it was going to explode._

"_Are you having trouble to decide who to choose?" he stayed silent. "Rukia can be quite like a boy sometimes, but she's really nice. Orihime, she's amazing, she has a nicely shaped body and-"_

"_No." What? "I don't like either of them." I felt my heart in my throat now. I swore I even felt my cheeks' heat. "And you know it."_

"_I-"_

"_You know that I love you." With that, he pulled me into a tight hug._

I felt pain on my neck and on my back. I realized the position I was in. I was still curled up into a ball. _Everything... it was a dream..._ I felt a tear slide down my cheek. I wish it was real. I looked up, it was already night time, the crescent moon was shining along with the stars.

"I really wish that I could be with Ichigo..." I whispered in a low voice, to myself. Suddenly, I heard some rustling in the woods. "Who is it?" I stood up, but almost fell down because of the numbness I felt in my legs. But luckily, that person caught me. I looked up. My eyes widened.

"R-Rukia...?" she had that sad look on her face, I instantly stood up. Oh no. Oh no!

"I-It's not what you heard! I mean... I mean! I was just saying that for fun!" she stayed silent. "I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said that!" her hands fell on her sides.

"It's okay. It's not like I'll get mad at you..." her voice sounded sad, I felt bad. Really bad.

"Rukia! Really, it's not what you think!" I held her on her shoulders. She was looking away, away from my eyes. I felt her hands on my arms. That's when she looked at me. I couldn't read her eyes, it was so confusing.

"Tsuyuki, loving someone isn't bad. We can't blame anyone for liking the same person, right?" What should I say? She's being so nice. "Rather, why don't we just try and make Ichigo happy? We don't have to fight to have him, it's his own choice, and I won't deny it." She explained, even though the sadness in her voice was still very heavy. I couldn't make her sad. It made me feel horrible, even if she says that.

"Look Rukia, it was really not what you heard." She didn't sound convinced. "Rukia, I already have Kai in my heart, and his place in my heart is not replaceable." I lied. "He's the only one I love." I almost choked on my own words. I hated lying, but this was for her... and Orihime as well. I looked at her eyes, trying to fill mine with sincerity, I hope it worked. After a dozen of seconds of silence, I finally started to see a hint of hope in her eyes, I smiled forcefully. "Trust me." My heart ached as I lied. I saw a small smile appear on her lips, I was kind of relieved. I sat down on the grass once again, she followed my actions.

"What are you doing here?" I was trying to get our thoughts out of the previous subject.

"I was having a walk with Renji... but he ditched me." I blinked.

"He ditched you?" how is that possible?

"He said that he had something to do, so he left, something about catching his Zanpakuto." Oh, no wonder.

"Did you find Kuchiki-taicho?" Well, it's not like I was really worried about him. Her head movement told me that they didn't.

"But I'm sure he's still alive somewhere. I won't give up." She's very optimistic. I wish I could be like her.

Once again, the moon caught my attention. For some reason, I loved to look at it. I guess it's because I always used to do that with Kai.

"Tsuyuki... that might be a weird question... but do you think... that he will like me?" I blinked, partly shocked by her question. I looked at her, she was blushing. I tried to smile a bit.

"You're not bad, Rukia, I'm sure he likes you." Oh shit, I shouldn't have said that... What if he doesn't...? No! It's impossible that he doesn't!

But even with my encouragement, Rukia didn't sound convinced. Of course, I didn't sound like it either. I'm not helping at all.

"Even if he don't, you'll still be happy for him, right?" I asked, looking at her. She nodded.

"Let's go." I stood up and offered her a hand. She looked at me, lost. "Have a talk with Ichigo." I felt my heart throb as I thought of what I was going to do.

"But-"

"Don't wait until it's too late." I was looking at her, I felt the pain swelling inside of me. She hesitantly took my hand as I pulled her up. "You want him to know, right?" I know how it really feels, I don't want her to feel like I do. No, I definitely don't. She didn't reply me for my last question, so I just dragged her behind me as I looked for Ichigo's reiatsu around Seireitei.

Gladly, I found him in the 4th Division, he was talking with Zangetsu, I think. Now that I think of it... I haven't seen Hyokorimaru anywhere. Anyways, I'll look for them later I guess.

It took him quite a while to notice me and Rukia standing in front of him, when he did, Zangetsu disappeared.

"Tsuyuki, I-" I pushed Rukia lightly in front, to get her closer to Ichigo, as well as making him shut up.

"Rukia wants to talk with you." Rukia's back was facing me, but still, I didn't dare to look up, because I knew that I couldn't hold back that over helming feeling anymore if I looked at him. My heart is already feeling sick of my actions... what will happen if I really do look at him? I think I'll just burst in tears. "I'll go now." I told them, trying to keep my voice low, so they wouldn't hear the trembling behind it. I turned my back on them and walked away, yet, this torturing feeling never leaving me.

"Wait!" I was glad it was Rukia that I heard.

"Have fun!" I ran away.

I walked by a familiar room, I took a look inside. I decided to go take a seat inside. I looked at the sleeping figure in front of me, and sighed.

"I'm sure you'll laugh at me if you saw me now..." I looked outside, Ichigo and Rukia still in my mind. "It's so painful... Sometimes, I just regret every bit of my actions..." I took a minute to think. "I wish I was the one standing there... but it's not possible... why do I even bother thinking about an impossible relationship?" Again, I felt warm tears on my cheeks. I immediately wiped them away with the back of my hand. "I-It's so hard... it's so painful... In my dream... I thought... I really thought I could be with Ichigo..." My tears were streaming down like a waterfall, I couldn't stop them. I covered my face with my wet hands and kept crying.

"Tsuyuki?" I heard two bells like voice. My head shot up, I hurriedly wiped my tears, yet they continued falling despite my efforts. Through my blurry eyes, I could see Mizui and Samui, there was another man with them.

"What happened? Why are you crying?" they both came running at me and pulled me into a comfortable, motherly hug. I felt their ice cold hand, but it didn't matter, I let myself cry onto Samui's shoulder. When I felt that I was starting to calm down, which felt like an eternity, Samui pulled away and looked at me, worry filling her beautiful eyes. I was glad, I was glad I could erase that inhuman look from their eyes and returning their motherly features to them.

"Tsuyuki, would you mind telling us what happened?" she asked, my hands still in hers and Mizui's. I shook my head. Nothing happened really... I was just...

"You really make us worry, we haven't seen you cry so much even after he di-"

"Shush, Mizui!"

"I'm sorry, Tsuyuki! I didn't mean to bring back those bad memories!" I looked at her. I put my hand on her freezing face, stroking it with my thumb, and I did the same with Samui. I looked at their beauty, I envied them.

"You both are so beautiful... I wish I had half of your qualities..." Maybe that way, I could have more chances? They both took each of my hand in theirs, but keeping my hand on their cheek.

"Tsuyuki, you might not be the most beautiful girl in the world, but your heart is pure, beautiful. This is why we are here now." Even without looking at them, I could feel their smile.

"Sometimes... I just wish I had never met Ichigo..."

"Dumbass."

Huh? I turned around...

"Toshiro?" I blinked, he was sitting on his bed, in front of me. Since when was he up? Wait, wait, don't tell me... "Don't tell me..."

"I listened to all your conversation."Oh no. "Hyourinmaru did too." I saw him lift his hand and point his finger to the man standing at the door. Oh. I almost forgot about him. Wait. Wait! WAIT! What am I saying? Everyone knows about it now! Why am I still acting so calm?

"Tsuyuki, you're sweating a lot, are you okay?" I felt hot. Very, very hot. I saw a smirk appear on Toshiro's lips.

"And blushing." I heard his voice whisper. I frowned.

".ro!" I smacked him on the head, it was the only thing I could do.

"OW! What was that for?"

"Everything." I paused. "You're not telling anyone!" I pointed at him with my index finger, and then I turned around, making my finger point toward Hyourinmaru. "You too!" I looked at Hyokorimaru that stood in front of me. "You both! Not a word!" I ordered. I admit. I could act so much like a kid sometimes.

My head snapped up at the exit as I felt a familiar reiatsu rising. I looked at Hyourinmaru, he looked calm and collected, but I knew it was him that emanated that aura. Aside from Hyokorimaru and him, no one could.

"Mizui, Samui, I thought you were going to bring me to my master." He said. I felt my eyes go wide, I looked at Hitsugaya. Wasn't he his master? He looked as shocked as me, or maybe even more. "Do not tell me that this child over there-" he pointed at Toshiro, I frowned. "-is my master." He said. Mizui only nodded, but she was looking at me, an unreadable expression in her eyes. "There's no way that my master would be a mere child." The area around suddenly started to grow cold. I looked over to Toshiro. He had his fists clenched. I felt bad for him. How could Hyourinmaru not remember about him?

"A-Are you serious?" he stuttered over his own words. "Have you forgotten about me?" I placed my hands on his shoulder and he clenched fist, trying to calm him down, but I only felt his body tense.

"Child, do you think I would believe you?" he turned around. "How foolish." He disappeared. But Toshiro hasn't calmed down. He wasn't even looking at me. I felt his madness, it even made him tremble.

"Toshiro..." I couldn't do anything to help him. There was only one thing. "Mizui, Samui." I felt like I needed to say no more.

"Yes, Ma'am!" Mizui's voice rang, and a cold wind brushed against us, leaving us both alone in the room.

"I-It's not a big deal, Toshiro! You can always persuade him!" I tried to comfort him. It made me uncomfortable to see him like this.

"Tsuyuki..." Huh? "No... nothing..." I looked away. Is that really all I can do?

"Toshiro... I'm serious... If he doesn't remember you, just talk him into it... or even fight him!" he looked at me, his pained expression covering everything else.

"Can I?" I tried to smile. His trembling started to fade.

"That's what happened with me! Hyokorimaru got back to their normal selves when I beat them! I'm sure that it'll work with Hyourinmaru too!" Suddenly, he pulled me into a tight hug. "Um... Shiro...?"

"Thank you." We parted from each other and he looked at me. "I know what I should do."

"I see that you're awake, Hitsugaya-taicho." Heh? I jumped around, seeing Unohana-taicho, Ukitake-taicho and Kyouraku-taicho at the door. "We would like to have a talk with Hitsugaya-taicho, would you mind, Tsuyuki-taicho?" Huh? Why? Oh, no, wait...

I just remembered about something. It made my grip on Toshiro tighter. I was worried, why couldn't I listen? It was about me after all.

"But-"

"Tsuyuki-taicho, it would be better if you stay out of it." Kyouraku told me. I looked at Ukitake, hoping for him to support me.

"I'm sorry." No way... I looked over to my last hope.

"Toshiro, I-"

"Sorry, Tsuyuki." I sighed. I understood. They wanted to have a talk without me. But why? It's about me, and I'm sure of it! So why can't I listen to their conversation?

"I understand..." I lied. I didn't understand. I stood up and walked out the door. I heard the door shut behind me, it hurt me, and it made me sad. Where can I go now...? I looked in front of me, I had nowhere to go. I didn't know where to go. I walked where my instinct told me to...

"Tsuyuki?" the voice sounded so happy, I couldn't even register who it belonged to. I continued walking.

"Tsuyuki!" another familiar voice yelled. I immediately looked up, my eyes extending to their fullest. I looked in front of me. And the first thing I saw was two hands holding each other, their fingers lacing together. Once again, I felt my heart sank. No, I felt it drop, I didn't feel it inside me anymore. Too much was happening to me today.

"Ichigo...! Rukia...!" I tried to sound the most cheerful I could, but it pained me. Why was it so difficult to see them both together? I thought it would be nothing for me, compared to the lost I had gone through... "I-I see that you both..." Once again, I tried to smile.

"Yep!" Rukia punched up her hand, that was holding Ichigo's, in the air. "I'm glad." She blushed and held Ichigo close by his arm. They were happy at least. It's the only thing, out of everything, that can cheer me up now.

"I'm happy for you both." It was partly true. It was partly false. But I can't be so self-centered. I looked at Rukia, her happiness took the least bit of sadness away from me. But when I turned to look at Ichigo, my tiny bit of happiness fell. He looked at me, sadness and regret filling his eyes. It was tiny in his emotionless eyes, but I could see it. I sighed. I gathered all my courage and walked forward, taking Ichigo and Rukia's hands in mine and put them together with my hand over theirs. I looked up at Ichigo then at Rukia.

"I wish you both happy forever." I let go, lacing my fingers behind my back and forced a smile. "And Ichigo, don't make Rukia cry, okay? Or you'll have to deal with me!" I tried to glare at him, but failed. Instead, it just made my tears easier to get to me. I immediately turned around to wipe away my tears.

"Tsuyuki?" I felt Rukia's warm hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay?" I nodded, trying to hide my tears from her. "Tsuyuki, turn around." She ordered me. I ignored her. She just came in front of me and looked at me. "Your eyes are all red and watery! Stop lying!"

"I'm just too happy you guys can be together..." I had to hide the reason why I was crying. I can't do that to Rukia. "I-I miss Kai..." I'm sorry Kai. I do miss you. But not anymore like I did before.

"Tsuyuki..."

It took me a long while before stopping my tears.

"I'm sorry. It was supposed to be a happy day for you both... and yet I..." what was I going to say?

"It's fine. Don't worry." Rukia comforted me.

**The next day**

"Toshiro!"

"Tsuyuki? What are you doing here?" How should I ask him? I can't be to straight forward... He'll say no for sure... "Tsuyuki?"

"Huh?"

"You want to ask about last night, right?" Right to the point. I nodded. Then I saw him look away, ashamed. "I'm sorry, but Kyouraku and Ukitake want us to keep quiet about it." Huh? Why?

"Oh..." I was disappointed. I thought I could know.

"Don't worry, it's nothing important." He tried to comfort me. But it didn't work. Why would they try to hide something unimportant so badly? "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I faked a smile. "Then I guess I'll go around Rukongai a bit!" I said, running off. I heard him say something, but I couldn't put it together, it wasn't clear. I skidded to a stop and turned around, gathering some air. "What did you say?" I yelled. I saw him jogging toward me.

"I'll come too." I almost said yes.

"Not now, you still have to go find Hyourinmaru, right?" By his look, I think he hadn't forgotten about him. He was just probably hesitating between accompanying me and finding Hyourinmaru.

"But-"

"I'm okay! It's not like I'll get lost or attacked! I'm a Shinigami! I can defend myself!" I stuck my tongue out at him. It's true, I don't need as much protection as I did before. But he didn't look more relieved. "Toshiro!" he looked at me. "Just don't worry, okay? It's just a walk in Rukongai! Nothing more, nothing less!" His expression didn't change. Did something about me bother him? ... Probably the conversation last night had something to do with it...

"Careful." He said and disappeared right in front of me. He was definitely in a rush to get Hyourinmaru back.

I turned around and continued to walk forward toward Rukongai, where I grew up until a few years ago.

"Tsuyuki-taicho!" Huh? The voice sounded so familiar. I turned around, putting back my serious face. Hisagi?

"Hisagi? What is it?" He took his time to catch his breath while I waited for his answer.

"K-Kyouraku-taicho and Ukitake-taicho are looking for you." Heh? Why would they be looking for me? I thought they wanted to keep their conversation confidential. Or they want to talk about something else?

"Is that all?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady and serious. He nodded. I sighed. So much for going to take a walk around Rukongai. "Let's go." I walked the opposite way from the one I took just a minute ago. I wonder what they are planning to talk about. I'm sure it's not about last night's conversation, or maybe. But somehow, I hope it could be, so I could know what was happening around me. I felt this uncomfortable feeling while I walked toward my destination. "What is it, Hisagi? You're making me uncomfortable." I pointed out, still walking at my slow pace.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was just thinking... You kind of changed ever since you came back from the Human World." What was he talking about?

"I'm sorry, but I don't get what you're trying to say."

"What I mean is that, it feels like you're less in your own bubble." Huh? I haven't gone for long... did I change that much? Actually, did I actually change? "Well, that's what I think, but who knows, maybe it's just me."

"Maybe." What else could I say?

"From the reports, they said that you've been pretty close with that Kurosaki boy, is that the cause of the change?" What? I stopped in my tracks and turned around, to face with Hisagi. I looked at him. I felt my heart racing. I barely saw him almost bumping onto me, glad he stopped just in time.

"Whose reports were those?" I asked him, curiosity tingling at the end of my question. I kept my eyes on him while he looked down at me, curiosity lingering his eyes. I immediately turned back around and kept walking. "So, who was it?" I tried to shake off this curiosity.

"Oh, I don't know." How can he not know? "Yamamoto-sotaicho ordered Sasakibe-fukutaicho to fill me in of this information, so I don't know who reported them." Oh, yeah. That was probably Matsumoto... or Toshiro. Wait, no. They weren't there most of the time... The only one left is... Rukia? Why would she report something like this? There's no way.

"-cho" I barely heard. "Taicho!"

"What?" I yelled, turning around, pissed that he drove me out of my thoughts. I saw him pointing past me, where I was facing a few seconds ago. I turned back around and just noticed the sliding door in front of me.

"You were about to walk right into the door." I hit the palm of my right hand on my forehead. How could I be THAT away in my mind? I sighed and lowered my right hand, about to knock on the door, but it slid open, only to reveal Kyouraku standing in front of me.

"You've finally came, Tsuyuki-chan." I bowed to him in respect and looked past him to see Ukitake sitting in the room as well, looking up at me.

"Good to see you, Tsuyuki-san." He said.

"Thank you Hisagi, you can go now."

"Yes. See you later, Tsuyuki-taicho." And I heard his footsteps getting further and further.

"Come in, come in." The 8th Division's captain stepped aside and led me in. I took a seat in front of Ukitake, my back facing the door. Kyouraku followed my movements, but sat beside his friend instead.

"Hisagi told me you wanted to talk with me." I was getting impatient.

"Yes, but we will have to wait until our second guest arrives." What? There is someone else who's going to be coming? I wonder who it is.

I poured some green tea into the cups that stood in front of us and I took a sip at my cup, trying to puzzle out who was the guess. And then after a few minutes, I heard the door slide open. I turned around.

"You've finally came, Kurosaki-kun." Ichigo? Why was he here? I turned back and looked at Kyouraku and Ukitake. They don't plan on talking about me with him there, right?

"Please, take a seat." I felt his eyes on me. I looked from the corner of my eyes as he sat down beside me. I felt my heart racing.

"Now that everyone's there, I want to ask you both something." They both looked at us seriously. This was no time to play around. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down.

"Go on." I said.

"We want you both to save Yamamoto-sotaicho." I opened my eyes abruptly, I think. I looked at them. Why us? Out of all shinigamis, why us?

"I-"

"Why?" I cut Ichigo. I didn't know what he was going to say, but I was sure it wouldn't be helping. Kyouraku-taicho and Ukitake-taicho looked devastated by my question. Well, I guess I wasn't straight enough, they might have gotten it wrong. I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. What I meant was, why should Ichigo and I be the ones?" I retook my sentence to make it clearer, their expression immediately got erased from their facial features.

"Because you both are the only one who has gained back their Zanpakuto." Is that the only reason?

"But the others are s-"

"Tsuyuki-taicho." I felt a chill at the sudden distance that Kyouraku-taicho took. "Please understand that this is an important matter." I could see he was frowning. He looked scary. "We will have to find Yama-jii the soonest possible." I moved my eyes over to Ichigo. Do I really have to do that with him? "This is no time for personal matters." He kept on going. I clenched my fists over my lap. Personal matters?

"Tsuyuki-san, please understand, this is for Seireitei, for the Soul Society." Ukitake-taicho pleaded. "We will send reinforcements as soon as we can." I looked down. I didn't have a choice, did I?

"Only this once." My palm hurt so much, I was tightening my fists maybe too much.

"Kurosaki-kun, how about you?"

"I have nothing to say." He sounded so carefree, but it sounded worried as well.

_To be continued..._


	10. Part 9

I looked at the corner of my eyes to look at Ichigo discretely. I sighed. Why did I have to do this with him? All I wanted was only to stay away from him the most I could. Is it that hard? I wish Mizui and Samui were there. To be honest, I feel nervous.

"_Oh, and I want to precise one more thing." Ukitake-taicho said. We looked at him. "Tsuyuki-san, it would be very convenient if you didn't bring Mizui and Samui with you." What?_

"_Why?" Why shouldn't I? After all, it's the only reason why I was chosen to partner up with Ichigo..._

"_Moving around with too many people will be a nuisance. It will be wiser to have only the two of you and have Mizui and Samui join you when you will find Yamamoto-sotaicho." He explained._

I sighed once again.

"You've been sighing since this morning." I glared at him. He didn't have to tell me, I knew that already. I quickened my pace and walked in front of him, I couldn't bear to look at him more than that. I felt like my heart was going to explode. "Hey! Tsuyuki! Wait up!" When he called me, I have just taken notice that I was running, and not walking. I tried to slow down, not wanting to get lost with him. Well, not that I don't want to. I just can't. "I said wait up!" I suddenly felt him grab my wrist, pulling me to a halt. "Why do you keep running faster?!" I did not look back. I heard him breathe heavily, I let him take his time to relax, well, that's what I thought I was doing.

It didn't take long before I noticed that he just stood behind me, and very close. I could feel the heat he was emanating. Being close to him felt comfortable, yet, my mind told me it was uncomfortable, that I had to stay far from him. But he was still holding my wrist, tightly.

"Why are you trying to stay away from me?" his voice was loud and clear, but it was trembling. _What should I say?_ Yes. It was true that I was trying to stay away from him. But I don't want to. "Answer me!" How could I? It's not like I'm going to say that it's because he's with Rukia now and that I love him! I violently shook my head, shook the idea out of my mind. "Why don't you want to talk? There's no one around, why don't you just tell me what's wrong with you??" his voice sounded demanding. I clenched my fists.

"Ichigo. We're on a mission. We shouldn't be talking about those personal stuffs." I was about to walk away, but he only pulled me back, making me turn around. I looked down, down at the ground. I wasn't going to face him. Not now.

"Look at me." I stayed still. "Look at me." His right hand cupped under my chin and he lift up my head. I looked at from his gaze. "I don't care if we're on a mission. I don't care if you're not looking at me. I just want to know why you're like this!" I stayed silent.

"My, my. What are two little cute Shinigamis doing here?" the moment I heard the disgusting voice, my body tensed. My eyes shifted to the right to look at who was talking to Ichigo and I.

My eyes widened. I immediately jumped around, facing the monster, I saw Ichigo do the same from the corner of my eyes. I looked at the Hollow in front of me. What was a Hollow doing in Soul Society?! And most of all, how did it get in?!

It looked very much like an Adjuchas. I was frozen on my spot. Not that I was scared, but only it's appearance in Soul Society shocked me. I kept looking at it, I tried solving out all the questions I had in my mind.

"Oh, little girl seems scared, isn't she?" I frowned. Me? Scared? The hell I will be. I put my hand on my Zanpakuto's hilt, about to unsheathe it.

"Did I say I was scared?" I let my bangs hide my eyes. I felt Ichigo's reiatsu tensing. "Ichigo." I hissed at him. I didn't want him to do anything. Yet.

"Oh, oh, I didn't mean to offend you, but in a situation like this..." I didn't let him finish. I charged at him and attacked him head on. It was a bad idea, he blocked me with no difficulties. My Zanpakuto could not cut through his skin. "You should look around you before attacking, kid." My eyes widened. I felt tons of Hollows' presence suddenly. I looked everywhere my eyes could, without moving, and I saw tons of Hollows surrounding us. No, how could this happen?! I pushed back my Zanpakuto and jumped backwards, back to the spot beside Ichigo, but with my back facing his.

"Ichigo..." _What should we do? There are so many Hollows... Most of them are even Adjuchas. It won't be easy fighting them off_. I started sweating, a lot. I wasn't aware that I was stepping back until I hit Ichigo. I took a deep breath. "Do you think we can do it?" I had to put personal matters aside. Even just for now, but my heart wasn't listening, it was being rebellious. I was too close to Ichigo.

Ichigo didn't reply me. I couldn't wait anymore. This atmosphere was making me sick.

"Don't die before we finish our conversation." Was the only thing I heard before I held on to my Zanpakuto's blade.

"Tengoku to chikyuu o tsunagi, Hokorimaru!" Wind swirled around my hands and my Zanpakuto, I felt it changed under my palm. The moment I pulled my hands apart, the wind disappeared, revealing my twin Zanpakuto. The clattering sound of the chains excited my will to fight. I heard the usual phoenix cry that I listened to every time I released my shikai. But it felt different. Mizui and Samui weren't there. It was only temporary, it wouldn't last long, and I knew it.

I clenched the hilt of my Zanpakuto and charged in front of me, attacking every Hollow I saw. I slashed, stabbed and cut through all of them. It felt like hours. I was getting tired by the second. It was getting harder and harder to move. It was like there were an infinite amount of Hollows. Even if I killed a ton, still the same amount of them reappeared, out of nowhere. _This is getting us nowhere..._ I was breathing heavily, I was starting to lose grip on Hokorimaru. It was too straining to keep it in this form while Mizui and Samui were so far away.

I felt that I was at my limit. I let my Zanpakuto fall to the ground, followed by a glass breaking sound and I let myself fall on the cold and hard ground, aware that countless of Hollows were heading toward me.

_Is that... the end?_ I asked myself. My muscle felt numb, I couldn't control my body anymore, I couldn't even move my head, nor my fingers.

"Tsuyuki!" _Ichigo..._ I almost forgot about him. But it was too late for me to notice anything anymore. It was blurry, but I saw that Adjuchas aiming a cero at me. I closed my eyes and waited for the blow as I relaxed my muscles, as if I could. _Do I finally... get to rest in peace...? _

_Toshiro..._

_Rukia..._

_Orihime..._

_Hisagi..._

_Hokorimaru..._

_Ichigo..._

I let the memories fill my mind as I felt unconsciousness slowly washing over...

_Take care..._

**Third person's POV**

Ichigo ran toward Tsuyuki, somewhere inside him telling him that he wouldn't make it in time. He looked at the cero form in the Adjuchas' mouth as he ran the fastest he could. But it was too late. A red light flashed in front of him, blinding him as the wind blew debris everywhere.

"TSUYUKI!!!!" If there were people in the few miles, they would have heard his pained scream.

Ichigo felt on his knees, he couldn't believe at what he had just seen. In front of his eyes, Tsuyuki was killed. He felt the pain taking over everything, he let his body fall numb.

"Tsuyuki... Tsuyuki..." he kept repeating her name again and again, as if he hoped he could call her back. He clenched his fist and punched the cold ground, frustrated with himself. But his sadness could not be compared to his frustration.

As the dust cleared a blurry standing shadow was seen through the smoke screen. Ichigo did not notice it until something hit the ground. His watery eyes looked up at the still clearing dust, curiosity and hope filling his mind.

The dark shape was standing there, holding something that was shaped like a katana that was pointing down, the shadow's head was bent down at the same direction of the blade's tip.

Ichigo's heart skipped a beat when he realized who stood in front of him. Happiness engulfed him, but part of him restrained him from any movement.

He looked carefully, the person was looking back at him with piercing silver eyes, there was no emotion whatsoever in those eyes.

"Tsuyuki...?"

_To be continued..._

_

* * *

_

Hellow, hellow. Sorry I've been dying busy this week and I haven't gotten much motivation to write my story.. Dx But don't worry, I'll writing the story as long as the last part's not out yet. I won't be publishing the next part for a while, which is about another week or two (I think) and I'm sorry about that...

Also, something I wanted to say : Feel free to post reviews to my stories, I will do my best to make them better!

I've just gotten a new idea for this story and hope I will not lose it because of my bad memory! Also, I'm sorry that this part was SOOO short (its almost 1/3 of what I usually write), I'll try to write longer in next one! And then again, sorry for the wait D=

xNV


	11. Part 10

He looked carefully, the person was looking back at him with piercing silver eyes, there was no emotion whatsoever in those eyes.

"Tsuyuki...?"

As his voice echoed through the forest, the silver eyes shifted toward him, sending shivers down his spine. He could not recognize these eyes. Nevertheless, he stood up shakily, eyes still lingering on the shadow in front of him, waiting for the smoke to fade away.

In front of him stood Tsuyuki, that's what he thought. But this girl, if we can still call her a girl, looked much more mature. She was a few inches taller, and her hair was a dark silvery color, unlike the white silvery color of her usual hair, also, it was way longer than before, the end of her hair reaching to her waist.

Ichigo didn't say a thing, neither did the girl though they were intensely looking at each other, with Ichigo debating with himself whether it was Tsuyuki or not; he couldn't recognize her. Not a bit.

Quickly, their silence was broken. The girl brought up her Zanpakuto, which was already back in its sheath, and unsheathed it slowly in front of her. She held a demonic look on her face, as she did, she looked right into the other's eyes. Right then, her lips formed into a devilish smirk and she disappeared from Ichigo's visual surroundings. Panic started rising in his throat, _where is she?_ He thought, looking all around him, the memories of earlier still pounding in his brain. Just as he stopped for a second, a sharp blade was placed on his throat, threatening his life. As he felt the cold metal against him, a sharp gasp escaped his lips. He was about to move despite the blade against him, but...

"Don't move." An unrecognizable voice said, yet he knew it was 'Tsuyuki'. "I don't want to deal with your corpse... so soon." The sharp side of the Zanpakuto pressed against his neck, making blood drip from it, as the girl chuckled evilly. Ichigo frowned hearing what she had said. He doubted that could be the Tsuyuki he knew, but somewhere inside told him not to hurt her, because she WAS Tsuyuki.

"A-Are you Tsuyuki...?" he blurted out. Bad idea. The blade went deeper on his skin.

"Hmph... that girl?" she tiptoed close to Ichigo's ear and kept her mouth close to it. "She's... dead." she whispered bluntly. The substitute shinigami gripped the hilt of his Zanpakuto tightly, he wouldn't believe it, he couldn't.

"It's not true." The girl, for the first time, frowned. Ichigo was subconsciously aware that he was pushing his life towards the edge. "You're Tsuyuki. You don't look like her... but I know you are".

Silence overtook for a moment.

The Zanpakuto at Ichigo's neck slid down, leaving his life free. He, who was shocked, turned around, facing the girl that stood in front of him. Her bangs hid her eyes as she looked down.

"I told you... that... I'm not..." as she was about to finish her sentence, she looked up, her eyes burning with madness, which shocked even more the high school student. "TSUYUKI!" she swiped her blade towards Ichigo, who dodged her attack just in time to spare his life, but gained a new cut on his left arm. She kept attacking him madly while he kept dodging her, but never thinking about landing a blow on her.

It continued on and on for a dozen of minutes, until Ichigo stopped dodging and stood a few meters away from her.

"There's no way Tsuyuki would die so easily! You're lying!" he spilled. The girl smirked.

"Too bad... that's the truth... And do you want to know something else?" the evil grin came back.

_What is she scheming...?_ Ichigo thought.

Without waiting for an answer, 'Tsuyuki' rushed to her news.

"Tsuyuki... she was destroyed inside-out... because of you." Her grin grew wider. Ichigo's heart sank at that. Was it true? Was he the one who killed her inside-out? Is that why she died?

Questions and questions flowed through his mind.

It was then that he let his guard down. Without even approaching, the shinigami held up her Zanpakuto discreetly and threw it at the boy who stood in front of her.

Ichigo, who was still dazed, only noticed a second before it reached him...

Blood splattered all around; on the grass, on the trees, towards the sky.

Ichigo stood motionless, eyes wide looking in front of him, a blade pierced through his chest, barely missing his heart. Darkness started to envelop him as he let his own Zanpakuto fall to the floor, a clattering sound echoing through the forest. Yet, he kept looking at the shinigami that stood in front of him, his right hand reaching out towards her while she was looking at him mercilessly. He lost sight of her as he fell flat on the ground, blood still pouring out of his fresh wound. He let out short and hard breathings, his vision blurred and losing consciousness.

Unknown to him, 'Tsuyuki' took a few steps towards him and bent down close to him. She opened her mouth and said a few incomprehensible words to Ichigo right before he lost his consciousness...

The shinigami stood up as she felt several reiatsu approaching at a quick speed. She removed her Zanpakuto from Ichigo's body, making even more blood spill out, and waited for her opponents to come. His body twitched from the sudden removal, but she could care less about it. She was more than willing to have a fight; it's been so long she hasn't had so much fun.

She held her weapon in front of her face, licking away the droplets of blood carelessly as shinigamis started to appear all around her, surrounding her.

"Who are you?" she stopped her movements as she heard the familiar, yet unfamiliar voice. She passed her tongue over her lips to clear the bloody mess on it and looked in front of her, to see the same visages she had encountered for so long, just in a blurrier image. She felt alive as she looked carefully at them, for the first time analyzing all their traits. Then she removed the blade from her face and accorded her attention to a short captain that stood in front of her, shocked. She grinned.

"Do you really want to know my name...?" she asked, eyeing the 9th division's lieutenant. "It's-"

"It's Tsuyuki..." the captain of the 10th division cut in, his eyebrows merging together. "No... to be more precise... It is a soul that has been sealed in her..." the grip on his unsheathed Zanpakuto tightened for some reason, everyone around him looked lost, but the girl looked interested.

"A soul that was sealed in Tsuyuki-taicho...?" Hisagi repeated, shocked. "I don't get it, Hitsugaya-taicho." But the young captain did not say any more as he kept quiet, the features on his face explained that he didn't know more about that soul.

"Hm... He's right, I'm not Tsuyuki..." she disappeared and reappeared close to Hisagi, right behind him like she did with Ichigo. "My name is... Reiko!" Hisagi was so shocked by her quick movement that he didn't even notice that she was just behind him. At the moment she revealed her name, she pierced her Zanpakuto through Hisagi's stomach. His eyes widened, he didn't even have time to react.

Reiko removed her Zanpakuto quickly from his body and flash stepped away from him. Every shinigamis that saw her gasped, except for one; Hitsugaya Toshiro, as he only frowned. He looked around carefully, looking for the almost disappearing reiatsu. He found it within a minute. Her first victim was lying in his own pool of blood.

Her second victim was trying to hold himself up by using his unsheathed Zanpakuto as a cane, but it didn't help much, he was losing his consciousness by seconds.

Without second thoughts, Hitsugaya made his orders.

"Matsumoto, immediately bring Kurosaki Ichigo and Hisagi to the 4th division!" he ordered without looking at his subordinate. She immediately shunpo'ed to where Ichigo was along with a few underlings and two of them went to Hisagi to help him.

Reiko looked at them, having no intentions of stopping them. She looked as almost everyone shunpo'ed away and then diverted her attention back to Hitsugaya and the few shinigamis that stayed.

"Looks like you knew that I wouldn't be chasing them..." she stated. The captain didn't say anything.

"What did you do to Tsuyuki?" he asked bitterly, his grip increasingly tightening around his Zanpakuto's handle.

"Well... I couldn't say that I killed her... right?" she playing around. Toshiro tensed. There was no way Tsuyuki could get killed so easily, especially by _her_. "Even if I did, you wouldn't believe me, am I right?" she asked, sheathing her katana and standing back straight. "How about I say that she gave me her place? That she didn't want to know anything anymore about her life?" her evil grin came back. The shinigami in front of her stayed quiet, but his mind didn't. He tried to look for the tiny bit of reiatsu left by his twin, but nothing could tell him that she was still alive, or so he thought.

Hitsugaya Toshiro suddenly charged towards his opponent, trying to land a head-on hit on her, but she easily blocked it with her Zanpakuto. The boy gasped at the view of it; his sister's Zanpakuto lost its shiny reflections.

"Hm... so you noticed too?" Shitsuki asked, not moving an inch. "When your sister disappears, this blade will share the same fate as its master." As she said it, the Zanpakuto's blade started to crack.

The 10th division's captain immediately lifted away his sword and swung it horizontally towards the girl. She jumped away lazily, as if it was nothing.

**Hitsugaya's POV**

She jumped away from my swing.

I hated the way she looked at me when she said _it_. I was supposed to know that it was going to happen, that Tsuyuki's Zanpakuto will disappear if she does! But I can't help but not believe that this was going to happen.

No, my mind wouldn't let me. I hated to think that she would leave me after we have reunited.

I looked back from the corner of my eyes to where Matsumoto and the others disappeared. Ichigo would think like that too...

But how was I going to bring her back? I looked in front of me, facing the girl standing there, she's was smirking at me. I tightened my grip around the hilt of Hyourinmaru. I have to bring back Tsuyuki no matter what!

I charged towards her, thinking of strategies at the same time. But suddenly, right before I reached her, I felt an infinite number of Hollows approaching. I stopped in my tracks. How could have Hollows entered Soul Society?...

**Tsuyuki's POV**

The blow I was waiting for felt like hours. I couldn't wait anymore. I opened my eyes. All around was blackness. _I guess dying really isn't painful_. I looked around myself. I could see nothing at all, it was pitch black, I couldn't even see my hands. _Does a Shinigami ends like this? Darkness all around... Nothingness._ I thought that I would forget everything after dying, that I wouldn't have to think about anything anymore then. But I suppose that I was wrong. I remember what happened just a while ago perfectly, I could even remember how Toshiro and I separated from each other. I sighed. Was I going to be imprisoned here for the rest of my life... suffering from my eternal memories?

I took a deep breath. I closed my eyes, not like it's going to change anything, but it makes me feel alive, and it also allows me to think properly...

I thought about how I met Toshiro again.

I thought about the times I had with Hisagi.

I thought about Rukia, Matsumoto, Ikkaku, Yumichika... and everyone else in Seireitei.

But I couldn't stop the memories between Ichigo and me from invading my mind. I knew it. I really loved him. Too much. It was too painful to see him with another girl. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. I couldn't stop them. I didn't. I let them free. No one would see me like that anymore.

_Tsuyuki..._

I hear someone calling me from afar... The voice sounded so familiar, but for some reasons, I couldn't place it who was calling me. I only felt my energy draining, as if I was overtaken by another patch of darkness. I felt tired. But was I supposed to feel tired? I don't know. But I'm really tired that I can't help it...

_Ichigo..._

**Third person's POV**

As Tsuyuki fell asleep in the darkness, an echoing sound of steps was heard. It was so dark no one would have known who it was, but the answer was almost obvious.

The woman picked up the unconscious girl carefully and placed her carefully like the _Sleeping Beauty_, with her hands on her stomach. With the darkness covering for her, she took out a Zanpakuto that was tied to her side and unsheathed it. She stood beside the sleeping body and lifted up her sword above Tsuyuki's stomach with one hand, the blade pointing down.

And then she let go of the Zanpakuto.

**In the 4****th**** Division**

Ichigo's eyes snapped open.

"Ichigo!" someone exclaimed, beside him, pulling him into a bear hug. "I thought you were going to die!" He recognized the soar voice, but somehow, it wasn't this one that he wanted to hear first. He felt as if something was missing. It was _another voice_ that he wanted to hear. He felt himself sweating and his heart pounding in his chest as he felt all his senses come back to him. After a short moment, he was pulled out of the hug.

Rukia looked at her boyfriend, both of her hands on his shoulders. Her eyes were all watery, as if she was going to cry anytime, yet she managed to force out a smile. "You made me worry so much." She said, forcing out a smile.

Ichigo didn't say a thing. He only looked around him, appearing lost for a short minute, only seeing white everywhere except for the "Fourth Division" emblem on one wall. He put his forearm over his forehead. _It was a nightmare_, he told himself as he was finally conscious of where he was.

"Are you okay, Ichigo?" he looked in front of him, only noticing that he has been ignoring Rukia ever since he woke up.

"Oh... yeah, sorry." He apologized. Rukia smiled and wiped away the droplets of tears that managed their way out of her eyes.

"I'll go get Unohana-taicho!" she said standing up and running out of the room.

Ichigo let himself fall back onto his pillow, looking at the pure white ceiling. He thought about his nightmare. It made him shiver. He couldn't even think about Tsuyuki being pierced through by a katana.

That's when something hit him, something big. Ichigo sat up abruptly, remembering about what happened to her. _How could've I forgotten about her?_ He scolded himself. He threw aside the sheets and got off his bed and then ran outside, trying to find Hitsugaya. He knew that the captain would know something about her, where she was. He just knew it.

As Ichigo ran past the members of the 4th Division, he scanned for people who might have known about Tsuyuki. But no chance. Yet he kept looking everywhere, until he saw Unohana-taicho with Rukia, and luckily, they were with Hitsugaya. He unconsciously ran quicker towards them and stopped in front of them.

"Ichigo!" Rukia said, shocked to see him out of bed. "What are you doing here? You should be resting!" she said. He just ignored her and looked at Unohana , who looked at him curiously, and Toshiro, who just looked emotionless. Ichigo immediately noticed that the young captain was holding Tsuyuki's Zanpakuto. There was no way that he mistook it, since her Zanpakuto was unique in its own way.

"What happened to Tsuyuki? Where is she?" he asked, putting his hand over the young captain's shoulders. His girlfriend's eyes grew wide as he asked this, though he hasn't noticed a thing about it. There was a moment of silence as no one replied him. "Tell me! I know that one of you must know about it!" he said shaking Toshiro a bit and looking at Unohana.

"I'm sorry Ichigo." He apologized, looking away, ashamed of himself for reasons. "Reiko got away." Ichigo looked at him, eyes filled with questions.

"What the hell are you talking about? I'm not asking about whoever you just mentioned! I'm asking about Tsuyuki! Your twin sister!" he said, shaking him more. Hitsugaya looked at him straight in the eyes, with seriousness that could freeze everything. He pushed away Ichigo's hands from his shoulders.

"Reiko is another soul that resides in Tsuyuki's body. She took over her. From what we know, Tsuyuki might still be alive now, but she's dying." He said as he clenched his fists. He couldn't believe the fact that his sister was going to die. No, not yet.

Ichigo looked at him as if he was crazy, but the prodigy boy didn't even flinch from it. "Y-You're kidding, right?" he stuttered.

"I've seen her Zanpakuto. It has started cracking." He explained.

"And?"

"We've discussed about the matter with Kurotsuchi-taicho." Unohana said calmly, surprising Ichigo. As he turned his attention to her, she continued. "A breaking Zanpakuto reflects a dying master." She said. "To put it simply, if her Zanpakuto breaks, this will mean that Tsuyuki-san..." the motherly shinigami didn't want to continue.

Unknown to himself, Ichigo's hands started shaking. Rukia, noticing this, looked down at the ground. Questions and questions were overflowing her mind. "D-Do you really have no idea where she is?" his voice was shaky, as if he was going to crack down any second. Everyone looked at him, sadness filling their eyes. They wanted to find her too, but the chance of finding her was almost impossible.

Hitsugaya took a step forward and patted on Ichigo's upper arm. "Don't worry... she'll be fine... for sure. We've sent some search parties after her." He said, feeling the trembling body of Ichigo. Suddenly, face hidden in the dark, Rukia left. She hasn't said a thing.

Unohana-taicho looked at her take her leave quickly and looked back at Ichigo, sadness covering her eyes. "Kurosaki-san" she started as Ichigo looked at her, his hands still shaking. "You might want to go after Rukia-san for now..." she said as a frown started appearing above Ichigo's eyes. He was hesitating.

Hitsugaya, who didn't want to say anything about it, opened his mouth to talk. "Go. We'll tell you first thing if we find her." He assured him, yet in the captain's mind, he truly didn't want to, because he knew why his sister was like that. But the way that she was being positive about the fact that Ichigo was dating Rukia made Hitsugaya's convictions contradict. First, the substitute shinigami made his sister suffer, but then she was also being so positive about it. What should've Hitsugaya done at this time? He could've only followed her will and not blame Ichigo for anything.

Ichigo hesitated for a few more seconds before he took his step. He was being unsure of himself, but with the pressure the two captains were putting on him, he left without saying a word after two whole minutes of standing.

The two captains looked at the substitute shinigami take his leave, without saying word anymore. As he disappeared behind a turn, they looked at each other for a few seconds and then continued their way towards a specific room. Hitsugaya stayed silent the whole way. To be honest, he felt lost. Very lost, for what had happened to his dear sister.

"Don't worry, Hitsugaya-taicho. We will find Tsuyuki-taicho no matter what." Unohana tried to comfort him, but he only responded with a short nod.

As they arrived in front of the room, Hitsugaya stopped in his steps, the elder Taicho looking at him. He looked in front of him, a feeling of guilt haunting his mind. He took slow steps ahead of him, hesitating about the fact to face the Lieutenant of the 9th Division or not. The motherly captain stayed at the door side, looking at him as she prepared herself to leave the place.

"Hisagi... Please forgive Tsuyuki about what happened to you..." he said as he looked at the sleeping figure in front of him, remembering about what had happened a week ago.

_At the moment she revealed her name, she pierced her Zanpakuto through Hisagi's stomach. His eyes widened, he didn't even have time to react. Reiko removed her Zanpakuto quickly from his body and flash stepped away from him._

Unohana-taicho turned her head in a disapproving way. _Why did this have to happen to him? First, Tousen-taicho... Now, Tsuyuki-taicho..._ she thought. She turned around and left.

Hisagi opened his eyes slowly, staring at the ceiling, as if he was awake the whole way. His eyes contained no emotions. "No... It's not her fault..." he said, staying still. Hitsugaya frowned.

The 9th Division Lieutenant thought about what had happened a few days ago. As he reached the cruel memory of Tsuyuki, his hand automatically shifted to the wound of his stomach. The touch of it made it hurt, though it wasn't the wound that made him hurt, it was the memory that made his heart ache. Not only it made him realize that part of his Taicho betrayed him, but it also reminded him of Tousen's betrayal against Soul Society.

Thinking about those painful memories pained him so much his free hand formed into a fist, clutching the white sheets tightly under it. Thoughts were skipping through his blank mind like black ink. _Is she going to turn out like Tousen-Taicho? Did she really betray me by her own means? Why did she do that? Why does it have to be me every time? Why does it have to happen when I get attached to someone…_ He couldn't erase those thoughts from his mind.

Ichigo looked everywhere for Rukia, but she was nowhere to be found. He even went to the Kuchiki Household and the 13th Division, no matter where, he couldn't find her. Yet, even when he looked for her with all his might, he couldn't help but worry about Tsuyuki, even if she hurt him, even if she almost killed him.

As the substitute shinigami passed by the 6th Division, he finally felt a familiar reiatsu. He quickly rushed inside, following the energy flow he that he knew for so long until he reached a Sakura Tree garden. He looked around, scanning the area. The view was amazing, the petals of the flower were starting to detach themselves from the tree, creating a pink rain. He somehow wished that Tsuyuki was by his side, but he had better thing to deal with at the moment.

Ichigo finally found her. She was sitting on the side of the walk way that stood outside of a room. Rukia was dipping her feet in the small pool of water under her, her eyes looking down at her own reflection, sadness mirroring her. As he saw the depressed look on her face, he scolded himself for being so cruel to Rukia, he scolded himself for lying to her. He sometimes wished that Byakuya could chop him in tiny bits only for that.

When Rukia heard his slow and light steps, she looked up at him, already knowing who she had to be expecting for. She decoded the worried look on his features, but she didn't know who it belonged to. _To her?_ Or _To Tsuyuki?_ Rukia tried to force out a smile, but it wasn't as convincing as she thought it would be as Ichigo only looked sadder.

The young man stood at the other side of the small pool of water, trying to avoid Rukia's eyes while she looked at him.

"Rukia…" he bit his lips. _Was it that hard to be honest?_ He didn't know. "I'm sorry…" he apologized.

"It's okay Ichigo…" _What?_ He thought. He looked up at her, noticing the sadness in her face slowly disappearing. Was it because of the sunlight? He didn't know. Was it because of the illusion the sakura petals created? He didn't know. But he saw her smile. "I knew that would happen…" she said in a low tone, half of her not wishing that Ichigo wouldn't hear.

"What do you mean, Rukia?" he asked, looked at her, eyes wide. _Why did she say that?_

"Ichigo…" she bit her lip. She never thought that she had to reveal the truth. "The truth is… it's that… I already knew that you had feelings for Tsuyuki…" she said. Ichigo's eyes extended to their maximum, showing how much he was shocked.

_What? _He couldn't believe what he just heard. _Then… then why…?_ He was confused.

"Why, right?" a clumsy smile pulled its way on her face. "I was being selfish." She looked down, eyes drowned in sadness. "I was so selfish I didn't care who you loved as long as you were with me." Her voice was trembling. "I just wanted to spend time with you…" she kept on going. "I thought that… I thought that if I did my best… Maybe I could change your heart… Maybe you would start to have feelings for me… Even Tsuyuki pushed me to confess… So I thought…" a few tears glided down her cheeks. "But I was wrong… I overestimated myself…"

Ichigo wasn't looking at her anymore. He was looking down, his fists clenched tightly while his nails dug into his skin. His eyes were hidden in the shadow of his short bangs that the wind was bracing against. Rukia didn't dare to look at him, she was looking away on the side. _What would he do now?_ Maybe she was too straightforward.

"… baka…" she heard. She blinked a few times before looking up, no sure if she heard the right thing. But even before she could do a movement, she found herself in a warm and tight embrace. "You're such a baka…" Ichigo repeated, hugging her tightly.

Ichigo felt bad. His heart was aching. She was just right there, in front of him, waiting for him. How could he have not seen it? How could he run after another girl while she waited for him? Ichigo mentally scolded himself. He told himself that he was stupid. He asked himself why he ran after a girl that didn't want to love him, why didn't he look closer to Rukia. He didn't know.

Yet, he didn't have a choice. He couldn't ignore what he felt for Tsuyuki, not when she was around. Her smile, her laughs, her tears, they all made his heart skip.

Lost in his thoughts, he was awoken by the way Rukia slid her arms around his waist, her forehead against his chest. She moved so delicately it reminded him of Tsuyuki.

"Ichigo…" it sounded like a whisper. "I know you still love Tsuyuki… I know you'll be waiting for her to return…" her voice was once again, cracking behind its strong words. "I don't mind… I'll just wait… I don't care how long I'll wait…" her grip tightened.

Hearing that made Ichigo slowly push her apart from him. He looked down into her eyes. He knew she was sincere, but she's doing too much for him.

"Rukia… I… I'm really not worth it…" he said. He didn't want her to wait for him. Not when he knows that he can't get over Tsuyuki. "I… I don't want to take you as Tsuyuki's replacement…" he said honestly. He knew he would do that someday, even if he didn't want it to happen.

"Ichigo… I… I really don't mind!" she pulled herself back into his arms. "I r-really don't mind!" Ichigo look down at her, his arms hesitating. "As long as we're together!"

Ichigo hesitated. Should he accept her? Should he let her in his life? He looked at her. She was so fragile at that moment, she looked like she was about to break down, so how could he do this to her? How could he deny her?

Memories of him and Tsuyuki flashed through his mind. Every moment they spent together, every bit of happiness and sadness they shared were filling his mind. Yet, the more the memories were invading his mind, the more they became blurrier and blurrier. The last one, the most painful one, took over the others. It was the only one he could remember clearly as if it was just a few moments ago. Only thinking about it was painful for him, it was the same pain as when she pierced her sharp blade through his chest. It only hurt more.

He blinked. He was back to reality. Once again, he pushed away Rukia, keeping his hands at her shoulders. He looked at her, his expression determined, his brows frowning. He sighed and tried to soften his look, but trying to keep his determined expression.

"Look… Rukia." He said as she looked at him, her tears drying. "I'm sorry to say this… But it's not going to work between us…" he told her the truth. Rukia looked down, her fists clenched. "Even if we're together… you won't be truly happy. You'll eventually find someone better than me." He said. It was the first time she saw him so reasonable and so serious. She dug in his eyes, trying to search for the tiny bit of lie, but none was found.

The shinigami looked down, her fists releasing, her eyes not facing him anymore. She bit her lip.

"I… I understand…" she lied. She didn't understand. She even accepted to wait for him eternally, why couldn't he just let her be then? Why won't he let her wait? She loved him. But she also knew that he loved Tsuyuki. The more she thought, the more her tears threatened her. When she couldn't hold back anymore, she stood up abruptly and ran away quickly, leaving Ichigo behind her.

The teenager looked at the back of his leaving ex-girlfriend. He felt much better for having told her the truth, but he felt guilty to make her sad, make her cry.

"I'm sorry…" he merely whispered.

_To be continued..._

* * *

xNightValkyrie : Sorry for the late late late update! I've been quite busy and lacking motivation these past few... months? XD Sorry about that! I'm working on the 11th part, hope I will be done with it sooon~ Thanks and hope you enjoyed it!


	12. Part 11

I sighed. It was too calm. I couldn't get use to it… Why? Ever since we got back to the Human World, I've felt like something was missing. And I knew what was missing. She was the most important piece of my life.

It's been three months since I've came back from Soul Society, and since then that they haven't contacted me. It's been four months that we couldn't find Tsuyuki… It broke my heart. I could still feel the pain in my chest when I thought about her. Where could she be? Toshiro did promise that he'd contact me if they found her, but no chance. I've been trying on my own side to take some chances and look into the deepest part of Karakura Town, but I couldn't get a trace of her anywhere. It made me mad at myself. I couldn't do anything for her!

Inoue and Ishida and Chad helped me looking for her, but they gave up pretty soon after starting, I didn't want to bother them too much with that, after all, they weren't very close to her… I know that this was stupid, but Keigo has been worried with my quick mood changes. I just couldn't help it. Every day, I blamed myself for what happened to her…!

Sometimes… the images of the last incident would always flow into my mind. Surely, it would make someone hate the other, but for me… It was impossible. I couldn't hate her, even if she truly wanted to kill me. But I know that she wasn't herself at that time, that is why I trying even harder to look for her… I want to know more about her, be there for her…

"Kurosaki-san!" What? I looked over my right shoulder to see who called my name. I saw Inoue looking at me with her worried eyes, she had had those looks ever since I came back, but I couldn't find a way to rub them off her. I tried my best, but I guess it just didn't work. There was something else in her eyes that I couldn't describe. Ishida and Chad were looking at us also.

"What is it?" I said.

"We thought that we could have a talk during lunch time… With Ishida-san and Sado-san, at the rooftop." She was biting her lips. I frowned at her. She knew that I used most of my free time to look for Tsuyuki… so why is she asking me to meet them at a time like that? "W-well, you see, it's quite important. I-It won't take long!" she promised, probably seeing my expression. I only reluctantly nodded. I really didn't want to go, but since Inoue said that it was important, I suppose that it is.

While I waited for class to dismiss, I thought of places that I haven't searched in. There weren't much. I had three months to look everywhere, so I've probably seen the whole Karakura Town. I even went to see Urahara, he said that there's almost no way that she'd be in the human world, but I needed to see for myself.

The bell rung, almost everyone ran out of class, I was one of the last ones left. I looked around, seeing no sign of Inoue, Ishida or Chad. They must've gone to the rooftop already. I took my lunch with me and walked quickly towards the staircase that led to the roof. I didn't want to waste my time.

I pushed open the door, a blinding light attacking my eyes. I could vividly see the three of them sitting together, talking. I looked around. It's been a while since I've been there…

As I walked towards them, something in their expression worried me. They made space for me as I sat down and looked at them, mentally telling them to hurry up.

"So, what's up?" I tried to say casually.

"Kurosaki, we thought that we should've told you this earlier…" Ishida started. "But you probably wouldn't have listened." … What?

"We thought that…" Inoue bit her lips once again. "That you should-" I couldn't hear the last part that she whispered.

"What?" I said, pulling my ears closer.

"She disappeared for a while." What? "You should stop looking for her…" Is that real? Are they seriously telling ne to quit looking for Tsuyuki?

"What do you mean?"

"I said it pretty clearly, right?" my hands formed into a fist. I subconsciously picked Ishida by his collar and pushed him on the wall.

"What do you mean, 'I should quit looking for her'?" my blood was boiling. My whole body was shaking. Why was I reacting like this?

"Ichigo!"

"Kurosaki-san!" Inoue and Chad tried to pull me off Ishida. But I couldn't let him go. No. No way. He had to explain first.

"I-I'm okay…" he murmured to Chad and Inoue. "Kurosaki, you know very well that you've looked everywhere in Karakura already, no?" I felt my grip loosen. "She isn't in this town! She is still somewhere in Soul Society! Can't you see this?" No. I'm sure she's somewhere here. I have to find her. I took a step back. But I can also hear it… the voice in the back of my mind saying that she's not here…

"We're sorry, Kurosaki-san…"

*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*

I snapped out of my trance. I looked at the representative insignia that I kept on my waist. I looked at it. It has been three months that I haven't heard this sound.

"A Hollow?" Ishida said. He sounded as curious as me. I clenched my fist. I picked the insignia and pushed it on my chest, sending my soul out of my body. Without hearing what they said after, I ran towards the Hollow at full speed. Maybe a shinigami would be there, and then I could ask some updates about Tsuyuki. I ran over the rooftops of the houses, looking for the Hollow.

From far, I finally saw it close to the Karakura Park. I sensed a reiatsu close to it, it felt familiar. I suppose it's a good thing. I picked up my pace and flash stepped towards my destination. My legs felt tired, it had been long since I haven't been in my shinigami form.

I saw them. They were both facing their backs to me, but I recognized their outfit. And I had just noticed that the hollow has disappeared. They must've killed it already. I kept going towards them, noticing that one of them wore a white haori. A taicho. I was about to take a look at the number that was written on the back of the haori… but they disappeared right in front of me! My eyes widened.

I landed on the grass, in the middle of the park and looked around me, trying to look for them. No one. I clenched my fist. It was the only chance I got to find Tsuyuki! Why did they have to leave so quickly? I felt my blood boil inside me again. I felt the anger rise within me. I fell on my knees and took out my anger by punching the ground continuously with my fist. _Why wasn't I quicker? Why did I take so long? They could have known some information about her!_ I yelled at myself.

Once again, I let it slip through my hands.

"Kurosaki…?" my head snapped around at the familiar voice. My eyes widened. It was Toshiro and Rangiku-san. I felt my heart beat against my rib cage. I couldn't control it. I quickly stood up and ran towards them and gripped Toshiro on his two shoulders.

"Toshiro! You guys found Tsuyuki?" was the first thing that came out of my mouth. He looked at me, a vein popping out of his forehead, yet his expression unchanging. Rangiku-san did not say anything. I was shocked by it. It went against her usual self. Toshiro sighed.

"We came here since we felt a Hollow appear here." He said. That wasn't what I wanted. That wasn't the answer I was longing for. It was bullshit. I shook him. He only pushed my hands away, looking at me straight into my eyes.

"We will have a meeting at Urahara's tonight." He said, walking away with Rangiku-san. I clenched my fist. What was happening to everyone?

Then a thought came to my mind. One of the shinigamis I saw earlier had black hair. It wasn't them. So that means there were more of them here. Something was going on, definitely. And I had to find out…

I sighed. I should go back to school before anything happens. I started walking towards my school. _Who were those two shinigami that I saw earlier? Their back looked so familiar… Why were they here? Why didn't I get any notice from the Soul Society? The Arrancars haven't appeared for a while… Are they coming back?_ I clenched my fist. _I haven't found Tsuyuki yet. Did they find her? _I sighed once again. I focused in the things in front of me, noticing that I was right in front of the school gate.

I went into the school and headed towards the rooftop. As I opened the door, I saw Inoue and the others standing there, and then turning around to look at me. I walked towards them and returned back into my body, not bothering to sit back up.

I looked up at the sky.

"I felt some familiar reiatsu… Who did you see?" Ishida's voice rang in my brain. Instinctively, my eyes shifted towards him and the others, and back up towards the sky.

"Toshiro and Rangiku-san…" I hesitated. "And two others…" Seriously, who were they? Why couldn't I identify their reiatsu? I clenched my fists. Then I heard the bell ringing as the others stood up. I didn't want to get up.

"Kurosaki-kun?"

"I want to have some time alone…" I couldn't wait anymore. I had to go to Urahara's place quick.

I felt Orihime hesitating about leaving me there or not. But she left, without saying anything. I waited until they were out of sight to sit up. I looked at the door they had just passed through. _I really can't wait anymore…_ I repeated to myself. I stood up and went close to the fence, scanning through the town for any visible shinigami. I sighed. I had no luck. I had no luck since she disappeared.

I turned around and walked towards the door, down the stairs, towards the school's entrance and exit. I wanted to go to Urahara's place immediately. But what if they had a bad new for me? My legs wanted to go quicker, but my mind keeps me from doing so. I still feel my heart beating against my rib cage. It hadn't stopped since my last encounter with Toshiro… Toshiro, I still remember the expression he had in his eyes. It wasn't sorrow, it wasn't sadness… but what was it? Something keeps telling me that it was guilt… But why would he feel guilty? Something must be happening… something that I'm not aware of…

I looked up, reading the words that stood on top of the store. _Urahara Shoten_.

No one was outside. Ururu and the kid weren't there. It was dark in the store, the air was heavy outside. I took a few steps inside, calling for Urahara. No one. Should I go into their place? I bit my lips. I allowed myself in and walked towards the living room, just to find Urahara fanning himself.

"Urahara-san!" I looked at him take a sip at his tea.

"Hello there." He looked different. He didn't look like the Urahara I knew. So serious… "You're so early… We weren't planning to have guests so early today…" he said behind his fan.

"I couldn't wait."

"Well, well. Just sit down. You will have to wait though. Not everyone is here yet. A few are missing." I looked at the empty seat before him. Something in his sentence bugged me. I didn't know what though. I let my legs lead me towards my place as I sat down.

"D-Did you get any new from the Soul Society?" I looked at his eyes.

"Yes… Many of them. We will have a talk about it tonight when everyone will be here."

"Can't you tell me now?" I was getting annoyed. Why did I have to wait? If he knew, why won't he tell me now?

"Tessai-san! Could you please bring our guest some tea please?" he yelled. Not even seconds after, Tessai appeared at the entrance of the underground training place and walked towards the kitchen.

"Someone is training there?" Urahara only nodded. _Why doesn't he want to say anything?_ It was pissing me off. I stood up abruptly and turned around.

"Ichigo-kun, where are you heading for?" I did not answer him. "I know you want to go to the underground area, but I cannot let you go there."

"… Why not…?"

"The training going on under there is very dangerous… I don't know what will happen if you went down there." I frowned.

"I don't care." I walked a few steps ahead, only to bump into something tall and hard…

Next thing I knew, I was on the ground. I looked up, seeing Tessai looking at me.

"Oh, I'm sorry Ichigo-san. I didn't mean to." Did he really not mean to? I sighed. I guess I'd have to stay here for a while… I stood up and changed my direction.

"It's okay… don't worry…" Before I exited the room, I took a short break. "I'll go take some fresh air outside…" and continued my way out. Once outside, I sat at the wooden steps, looking ahead of me, and then looking down at the ground, crawling into a little ball.

[…]

"Ichigo? Ichigo! Wake up!"

_The voice… sounds so familiar…_ I opened my eyes slowly, letting them adjust to the light. I felt myself lying on something warm and comfortable… like my bed. I looked lazily in front of me to see who was talking…

And I felt my heart race.

"Tsuyuki?" I blurted out.

"What is it Ichigo? Hurry up before we get to school late!" I saw her slam the door close and heard her run down the stairs of my house.

What? Why is she here? How come…? Wasn't I at Urahara's place? Am I dreaming? Or… was I dreaming? But everything seems so real… Tsuyuki was standing safe and sound in front of me just a few moments ago. No, not a dream… everything that had happened before only seemed like a nightmare to me. I shook my head and rubbed my eyes. I wasn't seeing illusions, right? Everything stayed the same.

"Ichigo! Stop messing around and hurry up!" It was Rukia's voice. Wait. She's here too? I hit the palm of my hand on my forehead. What is happening?

Then I saw my school outfit folded neatly on the top of my desk. _I should get changed first…_ I took my time to have my face washed over in the washroom, and more importantly, to have my brain washed awake. I looked at my face in the mirror, I was seeing myself through it perfectly, unlike the blurry images I usually have when I dream. I pulled on my shirt and pants and stepped out of the washroom towards the kitchen, finally seeing Rukia and Tsuyuki officially. Rukia was talking with Yuzu and a bit with Karin, but Tsuyuki was silent. Well, she was always like that I guess. They were eating their breakfast, but the old man wasn't here. Probably at the clinic.

Suddenly, I heard the doorbell ring. Who would be there so early in the morning?

"It must be Orihime-chan!" Yuzu yelled, running past the stairs and I, towards the entrance to greet… Inoue? Since when did she come over? I looked at the door and saw Yuzu talk to her happily and leading her in.

"Here! Come in, Orihime-chan!" she lead her in, not even noticing me. And Inoue just walked right pass me, as if I was a wall. I sighed and walked behind her, greeting everyone.

After finishing the breakfast, we all headed to school. Rukia and Orihime were walking ahead of Tsuyuki and me. I really didn't know what to say to her. Why? I don't know.

I flinched. I felt myself flinch at the moment something slid between my fingers and enlaced them together. I looked down, noticing Tsuyuki's hand enlaced with mine. I looked at her, shocked. She was looked ahead of her like usual, her expression unchanging, but the worry in her eyes betrayed her.

"You've been quite out of it these days…" I heard her voice ring in my head.

"What?" I looked at her once again, and then at the two girls in front of me.

"Maybe it was just me. Don't worry about it. Maybe I was thinking too much…" she said. I felt as if the distance between us grew a bit, yet she never let go of my hand. "Please don't ever forget about me…"

_Huh?_ Why was she saying such… weird things? "No, I won't. I never will." I pulled her closer and pecked on her forehead, something I've always wanted to do, even if this was truly a dream. We hugged each other for a short amount of time before catching up to the two other…

After the last period of class, I walked up to Tsuyuki's desk, reminding her that we had to go out pick something for Inoue's birthday, that was in a few days.

"Huh? Did I really say that? I don't remember anything about picking a gift for Orihime's birthday… between, we've already gotten her birthday gift." What? _But I'm sure she said something like that during lunch time…_ _Maybe I misunderstood…_

"Oh, maybe I just got it wrong." Tsuyuki packed her stuffs and was about to leave when I saw something fall on the floor close to her feet. I picked it up and gave it back to her. "Careful with your things next time." I told her, recognizing the cell phone strap I bought her. She only looked at me, confused.

"Hum… Ichigo… are you okay?" she waved her hand in front of me.

"What?" it was my turn to look at her curiously.

"That's not mine… I never bought such a nice strap… and expensive one." She pulled out her phone, showing a mini ice phoenix strap tied to her cell phone. I frowned. There's no way I could misrecognize the strap I gave her.

"You're getting tired, Ichigo… Go rest more at home…" she suggested me. Was I going insane? I sighed. I put the strap into my pockets and walked home with Tsuyuki.

I immediately went into my bedroom when I came home. I fell flat on my back on the mat of my bed, pulling out the strap and looking at it, trying to remembering when I bought it. Why? I was sure I was the one who got it for her… I just couldn't remember why, how and when. The only thing that I was sure about, it was that it was something I gave her… that also held lots of importance. There's no way she'd forget though… Even with a horrible memory… No one would.

Why does everything seems to be so… bizarre today? ...

I don't know how and when, but I dazed into my deep sleep…

I opened my eyes, feeling the cold breeze on my skin. I turned on my sides and looked at the clock on the wall. It was 6 o'clock in the morning… _What?_ I immediately sat up, looking at myself then at the time. _I must've fell asleep…_ I sat there for a while, thinking about everything that had happened yesterday. Nothing seemed to make up. I didn't get a thing. Maybe a cool shower would help… I picked some new outfits and walked into the bathroom, getting ready for school.

No one was at home, not even Yuzu or Karin. The house was deserted, and it left me chills. I went to take a piece of bread in the refrigerator and headed out to school with a heavy mind. I looked around the street, no one was there. Not even a dog or a cat. Not even a soul…

Right! Souls! I totally forgot about the Soul Society…

And the realization hit me. I turned back to the direction of my house, standing there. I had just realized that even Tsuyuki, Rukia and Orihime weren't there. They haven't said anything about the Soul Society either. Why? And Kon… I haven't seen him since yesterday… Something must've been happening. I turned on my heels and ran to school, hoping to find someone there that could explain everything to me.

I slid open the door to my class, noticing everyone looking at me. In the corner of the class, I saw Tsuyuki, Rukia and Orihime together in a little circle, talking together. I waved at them… but they only turned their backs on me. What?

I slowly walked in, being greeted by Keigo by his unusual way. I only knocked him off and continued my way to the girls. They were looking at me weirdly and whispering things to each other. But I did not let it get the better of myself. I placed my hand on Tsuyuki's shoulder and asked her what was wrong. Why did she look away when she saw me?

She only replied me with a questioning look.

"Hum… Kurosaki-san, right? I think you've mistaken me for someone else." What? What? What? What was she talking about? Of course I have not mistaken her for someone else! And what did she call me? Kurosaki-san? I frowned. I looked at Rukia and Orihime. They looked like she did.

"What are you talking about, Tsuyuki?" I asked. I saw her step back.

"Hey, hey there. I don't know what you're talking about, but it's not way to call someone by her first name when you're only her classmate."

It felt as if everything broke apart. It was as if everything turned upside down. What was happening? A mere classmate? Haven't we known each other for so long? How about the Soul Society? Yes, the Soul Society!

"The Soul Society! Don't you know it?" she looked at me with her questioned face. The same went with Rukia and Orihime.

"What the hell are you talking about? We've never heard about your… Soul what? Anyways! Stop annoying us!" Rukia glared at me.

No way… What was happening? Was I just hearing things?

"Such a weird jerk…" I barely heard. I turned around, looking for Chad and Ishida… But they only looked away from me. What was happening?

[…]

It was dark. My body felt stiff. I opened my eyes and noticed that I was looking down at the ground. I tried moving my head up, looking at the dark sky in front of me. _Where am I?_ I unbent my arms and legs, stretched them a bit and focus my vision around me. I recognized the place. I remember everything now. What had just passed a few moments ago was a dream. No. A nightmare.

I stood up and walked into the shoten, heading towards the living room, where everyone must be meeting up. As I walked in, pairs of eyes landed on me. I looked around, scanning the whole area around me. Urahara was fanning himself as usual. Matsumoto and Hisagi were there, sitting at the opposite of him. Ikkaku and Yumichika were there also. And there were… Renji and… Rukia.

They all had a serious look on their face, none of them greeted me, like in my nightmare. Only Rukia did. She gave me a head sign as I sat down. Orihime, Chad and Ishida weren't there. They mustn't have known about this…

Suddenly, I heard the floor creaking with footsteps. I automatically turned around to look at the people behind me…

I saw Tsuyuki.

I finally saw her.

Yes, she was safe and sound.

I felt my heart thumping in my chest. It wasn't a dream. No, it wasn't.

My legs led me towards her, but something inside me kept telling me the opposite.

_Stay away from her,_ the voice repeated.

But I couldn't listen to it. No. After all this time…

But she did not show any emotions. Wasn't she happy to see me? I barely saw her right hand move. But my brain wasn't functioning at its best to decipher her movements. I let my legs lead me closer to her…

But everything stopped. Everything turned upside down. Everything crashed at the tip of that Zanpakuto. It was not supposed to be like this. No, nothing like this was supposed to happen once again…

"Stay away."

**Tsuyuki's POV**

I sighed. I was getting tired. I've been training for days and days in this little underground place and it annoyed me not being able to get some fresh air. For once that I could go out, it wasn't even for half an hour. Well, I guess it's like this, since I'm the one who did this to myself.

I plopped down on the synthetic ground and laid flat on my back, closing my eyes and resting for the restless training I had with Toshiro. He was being hard on me… Well, not that I wasn't… But I guess it served as something.

I barely heard some footsteps walking towards me when I opened one of my eyes to look at him sit beside me. He always looked so thoughtful ever since I met him once again… I'm not sure if it is really because of this, but Rangiku once told me that the Hinamori Momo was his best friend. I've seen her once, at the 4th Division's barracks. She was so pale… so fragile… He must've been worried about her all this time.

"What are you thinking?" I blinked and looked at him once again.

"Nothing, nothing."

"Don't lie. You know you're never good at lying with me." I internally cursed. True, there was no way I could lie to him, my dear twin brother. Even with so many years apart, we manage to understand each other incredibly well. But to me, Toshiro always seemed to be a mystery, even if I knew everything.

"You always look so worried…" I said, sitting up and looking at him. He smirked.

"Why wouldn't I? Why such a little sister that I've got…" Heh? Trying to make fun of me now?

"Oh well, I'm the way I am!" I smiled a bit, relieved that he could still joke around like he did when we were small.

Suddenly, I heard a very annoying sound : Urahara's alarm went off, meaning that it was time for us to go upstairs for the meeting…

_*click*_

"_Here, I've set an alarm that will go off exactly five minutes before the meeting. With this, no one will have to come down here and bother you guys during your training!" I barely noticed his smile behind his fan…_

I sighed. Why did we have to hold a meeting? Wasn't this kind of stuff enough only in the Soul Society? I guess not.

I climbed up the stairs with Toshiro following close behind me. I was still tired from the training, and so was he, but we had no other choice then to listen to what everyone has to say, and between, they said I'd be meeting someone other than the humans I've already known. Who could it be? They say that he had been a substitute shinigami for a while and that he has gone to Seireitei a few times already…

The time I got up to the 1st floor, I already felt as if I ran thousands of kilometres. Yup, the training really drained me out, but I guess that it did worth all that hard work. After all, I did make progress with Hokorimaru.

I turned on my right, heading towards the living room of Urahara's place and saw a few familiar faces along with an unfamiliar back facing me. I stopped in my tracks, looking at the standing guy's back. He was the substitute shinigami?

He was wearing a light gray shirt, which I suppose was his school uniform and he had orange hair… Well, I guess with hair like his, I would've never missed him. I guess I didn't have enough luck to meet him before today…

I saw Toshiro walk by me as I pondered in my own mind. He made heavy steps towards them, I could hear the floor creaking. As if on cue, I saw the guy turn around to face us, along with a few pair of eyes looking at us. Great, Toshiro didn't have to make such a grand entrance… I automatically turned my head in a disapproving way.

For some reason, I felt uncomfortable. I looked up to see the guy looking at me, with eyes wide. I didn't do anything, I just kept the serious mask I always had on with my subordinates.

"Tsuyuki?" Huh? How does he know my name?

I looked at him stumble towards my way, his shocked expression never changing. I looked at Toshiro, he was only looking at us, a few feet away. The others were doing the same. What the heck?

Instinctively, I put my right hand on the hilt of my Zanpakuto. Who knows what could happen? Was he really the guy they talked about?

No. I was not going to let him a step closer. I withdrew Hokorimaru. I would fight him if I had to. I glared at him.

"Stay away." Toshiro came closer and asked me to put Hokorimaru back into her sheath. I had to listen. Unwillingly.

"Tsuyuki…?" I felt his voice trembling. No, I saw his whole body shake.

I looked at the guy. He had stopped walking towards me, but he looked at me as if I had just killed someone in front of him, or something like that. I couldn't get it. Was I supposed to greet him in some weird ways I haven't known about? No, Toshiro would have told me…

Seriously, what's wrong with this guy? I actually almost thought he was planning to attack me or something. I don't even know him. And his shocked expression disturbed me. I didn't like it at all.

"Let's go." I mumbled and walked past him and sat at an empty space beside Hisagi. Toshiro sat beside Matsumoto.

I looked at everyone. No one was looking at me. Somehow, I felt that they did not look at me because of disappointment. What was happening?

"Ichigo, come and sit down, please." Urahara was being so nice all of a sudden. I looked at that Ichigo guy turn around slowly and take his place at the end of the table, his eyes looking at me the whole way. I guess I wasn't supposed to do this to him… I sighed. Well, Toshiro did say that I became more aggressive after _that incident_.

"Tsuyuki, you must've heard about him before, he's the substitute shinigami Kurosaki Ichigo." I nodded.

"I can't take it anymore!" I look on my right side to see Matsumoto slam her hands on the table.

"Tsuyuki-chan! Don't you think his kind of familiar? His name? His face?" I looked at the guy once more, his eyes never leaving me. I totally have no idea who he is. And he totally doesn't seem familiar to me.

I turned my head as a sign of "no".

I looked at Matsumoto stand up and about to walk to me, well, I think. But Toshiro called her back.

"Matsumoto! What have we agreed to before?" he yelled at her. What were they talking about? I looked at the guy, he seemed as lost as I was.

"But! Taicho! I can't take it anymore! And I can see your expression! You can't either!" she yelled.

I looked around me. Urahara's face was hidden by his fan as usual. Renji was frowning and looking at Kurosaki. Hisagi, which sat beside me, was looking away from Matsumoto. He looked as if he wanted to agree with her, but he was disapproving her act. Yumichika and Ikkaku just stayed silent. Rukia was looking at me, she wasn't frowning, but she looked… sad?

What was going on? I looked at Ichigo once again. Was I supposed to know him? Is there something that had been happening without me knowing?

I turned on my left to face Hisagi.

"Hisagi. Tell me what's going on." I ordered him. He didn't even look at me. So I looked at Toshiro. He was also looking away. I felt the blood inside my veins starting to boil. I wasn't going to be patient today. No, totally not.

I stood up, looking at all of them.

"If none of you are going to tell me what's going on, fine, be that way. I'm leaving." I walked toward the exit without turning back.

"Tsuyuki!" the unfamiliar voice called me.

"Don't say my name."

If no one was going to tell me, I wouldn't press onto that fact. I will eventually find out myself. I walked down the street alone, barely hearing some footsteps behind me, but I didn't care. I knew who they were, but if no one wanted to tell me the truth, no conversation can be held. I walked quicker towards the house we had just bought with the money we were given by the Soul Society. I was getting tired, I wanted to go home and rest.

"Tsuyuki-chan! Wait up!" I stopped in my tracks, waiting for the three shinigamis to catch up. As they came up to me, I kept walking as if nothing happened. "It's not that we don't want to explain it to you… It's just that everything is too complicated…" Matsumoto explained. I did not reply her.

"Tsuyuki, if you want to know about it so badly, we'll tell you." I turned my head, looking at Toshiro, the seriousness on my face never wearing off.

"We're sorry Taicho." Hisagi was walking behind Toshiro. "We thought that it may be better if you didn't know anything about it…" I clenched my fists.

"Don't be stupid…"

_To be continued..._


	13. Part 12

I rethought of everything I've been told a few days ago. Even if I trust them with no doubt at all, it is something very hard to believe. Toshiro and the others told me and retold me everything that I had somehow 'forgotten'… But nothing seemed familiar to me, to tell you the truth, I just didn't feel anything from it, or feel anything about this Kurosaki boy. If I've really known him before, wouldn't I at least feel a bit of familiarity coming from him? I just don't feel anything of this type around him… But somewhere inside, it only makes me doubt… but what am I doubting about? I'm not sure if I'm doubting about my memories or about my thoughts…

"-cho…" Huh? "Taicho!" Hisagi…? Oh god…! I totally forgot about Hisagi!

"Sorry, Hisagi, what were you saying?" I asked over the communicator that the 12th Division gave us before we came to the Human World. I looked around the town under me, everything seemed so peaceful, yet, everything was upside down in my mind…

"It was nothing… Are you okay, taicho? Are you still thinking about it?" I guess he really is my fukutaicho… he really knows what I'm thinking about, just like Toshiro.

"It'll pass." I just let my haori flow in the wind. I wish that my thoughts could just be lifted away like this haori. In fact, I don't know when I'll stop thinking about it, but it is just bothering me so much at this very moment. I always, always had thoughts in my mind, not matter where I am, no matter when it is, but this is just so different, thinking about is actually bothering me mentally.

I was standing on a light pole, watching over the countless of souls walking under me, oblivious to the souls looking at them day and night. Why did Yamamoto-sotaicho send us here? Maybe nothing would've happened if I stayed in Soul Society… It is even possible that Aizen will launch an attack at this time? We haven't even gotten any news of him since the last time we came to the Human World. This is so frustrating. I just feel as if all those thoughts have just become like boulders that are crashing my mind.

I just jumped away from the pole to a random roof and started running around the town. I guess that some exercise will help me clear my mind. Yup, that's what I thought.

"Taicho…?" I heard from the other side of the communicator.

"Yeah?"

"Did you ever doubt of what we've told you?" What…?

"Let's say that I can't say no… But I also don't think that you guys will make up anything." Especially Rukia… She, who sounded so sad when we talked about everything between Kurosaki and me. I remember Renji telling me that there was a period of time that Kurosaki and Rukia dated… but it seemed that it didn't work out… because Kurosaki had feelings for me… But… how could he have feelings for me and date Rukia at the same time? That's seriously nonsense… Okay, right, it's not that it's nonsense, but this just doesn't help with the situation… It just makes him sound like a jerk to me… This Kurosaki guy, he certainly doesn't sound trustable to me…

But everything that's happened just these days, everything that I've just learned… It just made me anxious… I just couldn't help but grip on to my Zanpakuto's sheath harder.

"_I can't believe it… To think that they found her in District 70 of Rukongai…" Such a familiar voice… Who is it…?_

"_Ugh…" Why is my body so tense…?_

"_Tsuyuki?" Who? Who's calling me…? My eyelids are so heavy… I feel like I had to put all my energy into opening them…_

_Ah, a white ceiling… _

_Is that… Shiro?_

"_Shi… ro…?" my voice is so sore…_

"_Tsuyuki! You finally woke up!" As my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw Shiro's sad smile. I just tried to turn my head and look around. _

_It looks like the 4__th__ Division's barracks… What am I doing here? _

"_Tsuyuki?"_

"_Hm…?" I looked back at my brother. It feels like years that I haven't seen him. I just want to try and touch his face, to see if he's true, not a dream. I just let my stiff hand go to his face and touch his cheeks. "You're so warm, Shiro…" I tried to smile._

"_Everyone was worried sick about you! Where were you?" Huh…? Where I was? What is he talking about? Wait… and most of all… why am I here?_

_I just sat up abruptly, surprising him with my sudden movement._

"_Tsuyuki? Are you okay?" Wait… this doesn't make sense… Wasn't I… dead? Didn't that Adjuchas kill me back there? Why am I in the 4__th__ Division barracks? And the sotaicho…?_

"_Toshiro! What happened to the sotaicho? And these Hollows? Didn't I die?" were the only thing that came out of my mind. He just looked at me eyes wide, speechless._

"_Don't you remember anything?" Remember what? Wait… No…! Something just flashed in my mind… _

_Hisagi?_

"_Hisagi? Is he okay?" I shook him a bit, worry wrapping around me. No… wait… what happened? Why am I seeing these things…? I… I almost killed Hisagi… And I attacked Shiro… what does all this mean? "I… Did I attack you?" I felt my voice shaking. Please, tell me I didn't._

"_Tsuyuki, calm down…" he lightly helped me back on the bed. I might have calmed down on the outside, but I feel that my mind is just going crazy! "Hisagi is in his perfect state… and you didn't hurt me at all, okay?" I didn't hurt him at all? But does this mean that I DID attack him? What the hell happened?_

_I just clenched my fists. What happened to me after the Adjuchas attacked me? Why can I just remember parts of it? Why did I attack Shiro and Hisagi on the first place?_

"_Tsuyuki… Kurosaki has been worried sick about you…" What…? Kurosaki?_

_Who is he?_

"_Who's Kurosaki?"_

Kurosaki… Was this the guy that Toshiro talked about? I'm so confused now… This is just making me insane…

I looked around me and noticed that I was just in front of Orihime's school. _Karakura High_… I did come here once… but I don't think I've met Kurosaki… Should I… go visit them? But he shouldn't be someone I should get too close to… But… what if what they said was true? Okay, right, he might have helped us to save Rukia from what I heard… But this doesn't mean he's trustable… in that way… Ugh… why do I just keep thinking of him? This is just so annoying… I just HAVE to shake him off my mind. He's not someone who I can trust… No… He's not…

But I seriously want to go to that school… and confirm everything…

…

Yes, I have to confirm everything. I'm just wasting my time standing there only thinking about everything and not doing a thing at all. _I'm just wasting my time_.

I took a deep breath. I jumped down from the roof and walked in the school in my shinigami form, no one would notice me. Only Orihime and the others would know of my presence.

I walked through the familiar halls, while I felt my heart pounding in my chest. Why was this happening? I don't know… I felt like I wanted to walk slower, take more detours to get to their class, but I also wanted to know earlier, fix everything that are upside down in my head.

"Tsuyuki-chan?" Huh?

I turned around, seeing Orihime running towards me, with Ishida and Sado close behind her. Ishida's eyes told me that he was surprised, either by my presence or by Orihime's reaction. Well, I guess it's normal since she shouldn't be yelling to "air", according to other people. And that's also why I noticed that the few people in the hallway look at her in a "what the heck" way. I just sighed.

Suddenly, I saw Ishida pull her back.

"Orihime, she's in her shinigami form. Let's go at the rooftop, or the people will think that we're crazy." I barely heard him whisper. I just looked at him eyeing me and walk away with Sado and Orihime, who was apologizing to him.

I suddenly just felt eyes looking at me for some reason. I could easily guess who it was… I turned my head and looked behind me.

"Kurosaki… Ichigo, right?" I could barely see him look away from me, adding a small "yeah" to his actions.

Somehow, this small, tiny action made my heart feel heavy. I didn't know why though. Didn't I just decide that he wasn't someone trustable? Why did I just feel that way? The look in his eyes, the expression on his face, it just made me turn away.

I felt horrible. I felt like I've just crashed away his life…

"Let's go up…" I just couldn't look at him.

We walked the whole way to the roof together, one behind another, in the silence. I had nothing to say.

_This Kurosaki guy, he certainly doesn't sound trustable to me…_

This… doesn't seem to mean anything to me after I've seen his face just now. It just made me feel like the bad person. I know, I know that I get easily disturbed only by small things, but nothing can change this fact.

I looked up as we arrived at the top of the stairs and pushed open the door, using my arm to block the killing sunlight in front of me. I removed my arm instinctively and saw the faint outlines of Ishida, Orihime and Sado in front of me.

"Hey guys." I tried to smile, but I guess it came out in a distorted way.

I barely saw Orihime run towards me as I felt myself being pulled into a bear hug. I wonder… why does her and Matsumoto likes to hug people so much?

"I missed you, Tsuyuki-chan!"

Being around them just made me feel awkward. I didn't know what to say. Why did I come here in the first place…?

Oh… Right… I wanted to confirm everything about Kurosaki…

"I missed you too, Orihime." I looked up at her as she released me.

"Hey." Kurosaki's voice resonated in my head.

"Kurosaki-kun!" she looked surprised. I don't know if it was just me, but I thought I saw something glittering in her eyes. Like some feelings were glittering in her eyes.

"Did you guys see each other downstairs?" I looked aside from Orihime to Ishida. I totally forgot about his presence just now.

"Yeah, w-" Oh… wait… they don't know that I've already met him at Urahara's place last night. Did Kurosaki tell them? I looked back at him. It didn't seem like he said anything about it…

"So, you guys…"

"No, I'm sorry… I met him at Urahara's place last night…" I know what Orihime wanted to say, so I just replied her. I knew I would feel bad if she kept going on.

"Why did you come here?" Sado's grave voice reached my ears. I never heard him talk much, it just kind of surprised me to hear this coming from him. Maybe he thinks that… I'm not welcomed here…?

"I… I just thought that I wanted to ask more about Kurosaki… I want to… understand more." I bit my lips. Maybe I wasn't welcomed at all… They are Kurosaki's close friends… they probably just want to avoid letting me see Kurosaki too much… But… why? "I-I probably not welcomed here… I think I should take me leave…" I turned around and headed for the stairs.

"Tsuyuki-chan! Please wait!"

I looked at Orihime.

"Let's talk it out!" her smile just melted away my worry. I tried to smile back to her, while looking at the others' approving figures. I suppose that it might turn out better than I had thought.

"I suppose that everyone told you everything?" Ishida and Sado walked closer as we formed a small circle. I only nodded to his comment. I looked at Kurosaki, he didn't say anything. He only looked at me with yet another sad expression in his eyes. Why do I feel so bad though…? Didn't I say that he wasn't someone trustable for me…?

"But I still don't remember anything…" Why did I come here…? I wanted to confirm everything… but confirm what? Confirm that he loved me? Or confirm that I once loved him?

"_Rukia and Ichigo had been dating for a short period of time." I looked at Renji. His expression… I couldn't read it. "But they broke up when you disappeared. Ichigo couldn't help hurting Rukia more with what he was doing to her…"_

Is it really the best idea for me to remember? What if… the same thing happens again? What if… I had a reason not to be with him…? What if… he falls in love again with me…? What if I don't remember anything?

I'll just hurt that guy again. Maybe staying this way will be the best option for us both… For Rukia also… Maybe if Kurosaki knows that I can't gain back my memory… maybe he will turn back to her?

What am I doing? I should just leave things as the way it is now!

"Just forget about it." I said. I didn't want to know anything anymore.

"What?" Orihime, Ishida and Sado's voices rang. Ichigo just looked at me, shocked. I looked at him.

"Just what I said. I'm sorry, Kurosaki… but if things have turned out this way, I won't do anything to change it. I don't want to make anyone suffer more because of me." I couldn't stand to look at him anymore.

"What are you talking about?" he was frustrated. "Didn't you come here to try to gain back your lost memories? Why'd you just give up all of a sudden? Don't you think that'll make me suffer more?" I looked at him, I felt my eyes extending. What was he saying?

"Why would it make you suffer more…? You can just restart everything from the beginning, just forget about me, like I did to you." _Like I did to you_…? I felt like needles were piercing through my heart when I said this. It wasn't something I was supposed to say. "I don't want to be a nuisance, I don't want to suffer." That's right, what if I was suffering seeing him and Rukia like this? Maybe I just wanted my memory to be erased… Maybe Rukia will stop suffering if I just step out of his life…

"Y-you don't want to suffer…?" I looked at his troubled eyes, heard his trembling voice. I bit my lips. Why was I being so mean to him…? I looked at the others, they all looked at me, eyes wide. I didn't know what to say anymore. I turned around.

"I'm sorry… Please forget about me…"

[…]

I just looked at the school one last time before taking my leave and saw that Orihime was already in one of her class, looking out at me, her disappointed expression never wearing off. I just looked away from her and I was about to turn around, but then I noticed the orange haired boy beside her, also looking at me. I just sighed. There's no way anything could've happened between us both, what I had said earlier… was nothing more than a show I put up. But I truly wished that he could forget about me, and turn back to Rukia. I'm so sure… I'm so sure that she's still deeply in love with him… even if she doesn't look like it…

I left, shunpo'ing into other parts of the city. Can I consider this as something that had been done, finished? Yes, now I could think of other things peacefully.

Yet, I knew I was only pushing all this in the back of my mind, leaving it to later. Letting it grow inside me and explode one day or another…

But something much more important has been bothering me a lot… Why did I have to attack Toshiro and Hisagi? Why can't I remember anything...?

Just right before I passed the soccer field close to Karakura High, someone's name popped in my mind…

Urahara Kisuke.

He should know about what happened to me!

I shunpo'ed there the quickest I could, wanting to see him the soonest possible. It would just have been a better idea if his place was closer to the high school. I just wanted to hit him at the back his head for having his store in such a secluded area.

"URAHARA!" I just slammed the door open, not bothering to be polite. Just for this once.

There I saw him at the back of the store, with Tessai who had tears streaming down his face… Huh? I looked at my right side… Oops, I broke the door…

"Ah… he… hehe…" I scratched the back of my head, sweat drops appearing on my forehead. "Sorry!" I bowed down. Guess that I shouldn't have done that…

"No, no, there's no problem, Tsuyuki-chan! Here, come have a seat!" Urahara led me in while Tessai went to repair the door. _Sorry again_… I felt kind of bad, I really didn't mean of breaking stuffs…

I sat down at the same time as Urahara, seeing that the settings of tea were already prepared.

"I see that you already knew that I would've come…" I said, taking my cup of tea and taking a small sip of it, trying to relax my mind and my soul. He just smiled behind his fan, like he always did.

"Let me guess… You did not come to ask about Kurosaki, am I right?" And I was about to forget. So much for trying to forget about that. I clenched my fists and nodded.

"There's no point asking something like this if I consider this memory unimportant anymore." I probably shouldn't be remembering about him. It would probably just bring me back painful memories.

"But I do want to know why I have those frequent memory loss… Especially the reason why I have _completely_ forgotten about someone…" Suddenly, he just put down his fan, his face looking much more serious than he used to.

"There are a lot of reasons for someone to suffer memory loss. For your case, it might as well be a kind of 'defence mechanism'. Which means that something that your brains considers 'dangerous' happened to you and it processed to erase that memory from your life to protect you from it." Huh… Something… _Dangerous_? "These things can be physically dangerous to you, as much as it can be emotionally dangerous."

"So, in the case of Kurosaki, you mean that I might have had an emotional crackdown if my brain didn't erase him from my memory?" Well, I think that's what I understood anyways… But this can only explain why I've forgotten about Kurosaki, but it still doesn't explain why I couldn't remember anything about attacking Hisagi and Toshiro… except for those small images I get... I just looked into the cup I had in my hand, the reflection of my face deforming with the liquid.

"If you take it this way, yes. But also, for us, Shinigamis, there is a second reason…" a second reason? So that means that maybe it wasn't my brain that erased him from my memory…?

[…]

I stood on the light pole close to the soccer field. What Urahara told me made a lot of sense. But also, there were some stuff I couldn't understand at all… He did not go into the details like he did before… Is he worrying about something? I just felt my eyebrows frown. Even though I feel less confused, this is just as much annoying as it was earlier…

"Taicho!"

I seriously can't understand it… He knows almost everything about the Soul Society, so there's no way he doesn't know about that…

"TAICHO!"

Unless… he's trying to hide something from me? No, no way… He already told me about it… so why not telling me the rest of it? Why is he leaving me in this guessing position?

"_There is a second reason…" he took a sip of his tea and looked straight at me._

"_What is it?" I prepared myself for everything. Well, I tried to._

"_From what I know, it exist a forbidden kidou that has the capacity of binding two souls together in one body." Binding two souls together in one body…? I've seriously never heard of that… "There aren't many people who are capable of using this kido, or should I say, almost all of them died." But… what does it have to do with my memory loss? "Before, this was a commonly used kidou, since the shinigamis at that time did not know how to master a Zanpakuto yet and it was the most efficient way to seal away criminal souls and Hollows." … wait… if he starts explaining this to me… then…_

"_Do… Do you mean that… I have another soul inside me…? And that every time the other soul inside me takes over, I lose my memory about what happens?" I looked at him, he just looked back at me, without replying. After a few seconds, he only nodded._

"… _Shinigamis usually choose the very strong souls to bind the souls with, because they believe that they can hold back the soul, and eventually make it disappear. But in other cases, if the soul is not strong enough, the other half can manifest itself and become even more dangerous than they once were, but it is only for a set amount of time. If the soul's body is being maintained by the other soul by a too long period time, the body will have trouble to withstand the strain, and both souls will eventually die together." Okay… but aren't we already souls…?_

"_Aren't we already souls? So doesn't this mean that we don't have a body anymore?" I understood his explanation, it would have made sense if we were talking about a normal human being, but we're shinigamis, so how can there be a soul in a soul?_

"_Yes, we're merely souls, that is why this forbidden kidou is only performed on humans. This is why I can't understand your case either…" I looked at him, he looked bothered by something. Even he says that it doesn't make any sense, so why? _

_Then I just noticed, he wasn't looking at me, but at Hyokorimaru._

"_Urahara… you don't think that…"_

I looked down at my hand to Hyokorimaru. I touched the hilt of my Zanpakuto with care, I just didn't know what to do anymore.

"TAICHO!"

Was Urahara thinking the same thing I've just thought of…? That Hyokorimaru w-

"TSUYUKI!"

What…?

My eyes went wide. Someone just ran into me and pulled me away from my spot, leaving us both in mid-air. I looked carefully beside me to see white silver short hair.

"Toshiro? What do you think you're doing? Put me down!" I yelled. Why was he running away? He just did as I said a few seconds after and looked at me, his pissed expression digging pins at me.

"What were you thinking? You almost got killed!" W-What?

Then I felt the hollows. Once again, my eyes went wide. I couldn't believe it… I was so out of my mind I didn't even notice the hollows… and countless of them were so close! I looked a Toshiro and I frowned and looked away.

"I'm sorry…" I clenched my fist. I was a burden to him. "I'll get rid of it right now." I prepared myself to unsheathe Hyokorimaru when Toshiro held me back.

"No! I'm not letting you fight at this time! Didn't you see how close you were to getting killed? I'm not letting you fight, you're in no shape of having a fight right now. Stay back with Rukia!" Wait… But…

Huh?

"I'm sorry, Tsuyuki-taicho." Rukia appeared behind me and held me back as I looked at Toshiro run off to the Hollows.

"Rukia! Let me go!" I tried getting away from her grip but there was no way. How could she be so strong?

"Please, Tsuyuki-taicho. Hitsugaya just doesn't want to see you get hurt. You know that you're not in a state of fighting now, do you?" I bit my lip, of course I knew it, after what had just happened… But this doesn't allow me to sit back and watch my comrades fight and do nothing about it! "Please." I clenched my fist. I frowned. I seriously didn't want to leave them like that.

"Fine." I stopped debating myself, but kept my fists clenched to release my frustration. Rukia finally let me go and stood beside me.

"I know it's hard watching them fight, but you can't do anything to help them now." Why? Why do they keep saying this? I'm not injured… I've just… gotten a bit confused of myself, but nothing more. How can such little things get in my way? There's no way!

I watched as Toshiro, Matsumoto, Hisagi and the others were struggling to fight off the many hollows there were. I felt horrible, letting my friends fight while I stood back, doing nothing at all. Yet, no matter how much they fought, the number of hollows didn't seem to decrease. _Just like when I went to rescue the sotaicho…_ Where are they coming from?

I looked around, trying to find the Garganta that led the Hollows in the Human World.

"Tsuyuki-taicho?"

"Rukia, help me look for the Garganta." She immediately nodded as we both flash stepped away to look for the door.

My eyes widened as I didn't find the door, but a tons of Hollows heading towards Rukia and me. I suppose that I have no choice but to fight… I looked at the others' direction, they were all busy fighting off the Hollows, it would be nothing bad if I helped them, right? I just have to stick my mind into fighting them.

I placed my right hand on the hilt of my Zanpakuto, ready to pull it out as I looked at the Hollow approach me…

"Tsuyuki!" Huh? I turned around to look at who called me...

Big mistake.

"Owww…" I sat up, my body aching from the impact with the concrete. I glared at the Hollow. _Ugh… Toshiro didn't have to call me right at that time… He'll get his hit for sure…!_ I stood up and wiped off the dust from my butt and ran toward the skulled monster.

Its movements were slow, by the time I unsheathed Hyokorimaru, he had already lost track of me. I immediately cut him down in two while I had the chance. I couldn't let anything bother me now. I immediately turned around, seeing a dozen of Hollows ahead of me, their back facing me, and one by one, I just took the opportunity to cut through them. After all, they weren't as strong as the Adjuchas, so I suppose it wouldn't be too hard to clean this mess, maybe it'll just take some time. I was about to kill another one when it turned around, facing me…

Huge body… White skull head… a _Hollow…_

"…_it was the most efficient way to seal away criminal souls and Hollows."_

Hollows… Wait… does this mean that-

"Tsuyuki-taicho!"

I looked straight in front of me, right in time to have something hit me. I fell back on the ground from the impact once again… I looked around… No… it wasn't something… Someone hit me…

I looked, shocked, at the girl just beside me, blood pouring from her arm. She tried to get up slowly while I watched her.

What was I thinking? Why didn't I concentrate on my fight? Why did I have to think about something else?

I stood up and helped her up. I looked at her, guilt taking over me.

"Rukia… I'm so sorry…" I clenched the hilt of my Zanpakuto tightly, not knowing what I was supposed to do anymore.

As on cue, I felt the same hollow approach us, so I just turned around and swiftly drew my Zanpakuto sideways. Right before my eyes, the Hollow vanished into thin air. I landed back close to Rukia, the guilt within me never wearing off.

"Rukia, are you okay?" I asked. It's my fault that she got hurt… I should've known…

"Y-Yeah… just a cut on the arm, it's nothing serious…" Even though she said this, the blood and her facial expression didn't say the same thing. I knew she was in great pain, and from the blood loss, it looked like a deep wound… "Don't worry." I saw her try to pull a small smile to her lips, but it didn't convince me.

"I'm sorry… I should've listened… This wouldn't have happened if I listened to you guys…" I looked away, I didn't care if she looked at me or not, I couldn't face her now. I almost got her killed! Such a good captain I am…

"Tsuyuki-taicho, I'm being serious… This is really nothing! Look at me! I can still move my arm around!" I looked at her lift her arm high, immediately pulling it back down with a low "Ow". I bit my lips. I didn't know what to say. She keeps saying that it's nothing, but it is still my fault. She still got injured. She almost got killed!

"Even if you say so…" Why am I being so useless? Didn't I come here to help them out? I'm just being a total burden right now… How can this happen?

I held the hilt of Hyokorimaru so tightly I could even hear the blade shake… but the trembling in my heart felt worst. It felt a thousand times worst.

"Rukia! Are you okay?" I looked at Renji and the others as they ran towards us after they finished off their mob of Hollows. I just placed my Zanpakuto back into its sheath, looking away from them.

Renji just went to Rukia, asking her what happened. I barely heard her saying that she just got attacked by a Hollow, not bothering to say that it was my fault… I feel so ashamed… Why was she covering the truth for me? I looked at Toshiro, he seemed to know what happened just a few minutes ago, he didn't say anything, but he just looked at me sadly. I guess… I guess I really did disappoint him this time.

"Let's go back to Urahara's place so we can tend to your injury." I heard Renji say.

I looked at Rukia, Renji, Matsumoto and Hisagi walk away while Toshiro stayed at my side, waiting for me.

"You saw what happened, didn't you?"

"… they saw it too, they just don't want you to blame yourself, that's why they're hiding it." He never looked at me when he said those words. I didn't know if he truly meant it when he said they didn't want me to blame myself. "We know that you're trying to get over a big crisis in your life… We understand."

He says that they understand me… but I can barely understand myself… My job here in the Human World was to supervise them, but I feel like I'm the one being supervised, like I'm the one who's supposed to be looked over. I was the one who made them worry, who hurt them.

"I'm the worst captain…" I felt Toshiro turn towards me as I whispered those words, I felt uneasy under his gaze.

"Don't say this, Tsuyuki. We all have our first times, you're the less experienced captain of us all, you are still learning." _We learn from our mistakes_ is what people say… but what kind of mistakes? By putting my friend's life in danger like I just did? "I am too…"

I stayed silent. I did not know what to say anymore. Not that I thought he was totally right, I just felt like there was no point going further in this conversation, since I've already made my decision.

"Let's go." he said. He starting walking away, but stopped in his tracks to look back at me. I just turned around, towards the other side.

"Tell Rukia I'm sorry…" I knew he would be leaving me alone. I knew he wouldn't come after me. "Take care…" I tried to keep my voice as low as I could when I said this. I didn't want him to hear it, or else he'd run after me. But I just couldn't help saying it. I wasn't going to leave him eternally, but just for now…

I kept walking towards an unknown direction, desperately trying to stop everything from invading my mind. But it was a hard thing to do, just the slightest thing could make me think about everything again.

I flipped open my communicator and composed a number…

"Yes, Tsuyuki-taicho?"

"I need you to prepare the Senkaimon immediately."

**In Seireitei**

I walked through the halls of the 9th Division, heading towards my office. It felt so different being here without Hisagi around. Usually, he would be around, either announcing news or filling me in about meetings or information that I've missed. I saw everyone busy training or filling some paperwork, just as I wished when I came here for the first time. I remember that I was being pretty harsh to those men out there, but being a leader means that I have to show some authority also… but responsibility is something that is most important to me when you're being a leader.

I slid open the door to my office, seeing everything untouched, like the first time that I've came back from the Human World. I walked towards my desk and sat on the chair, scanning the files in front of me. I opened them one by one and scribbled my signature on it without bothering to read the description. Even if I did read it… I felt that it wouldn't be lasting long in my brain…

*_knock*knock*_

"What is it?" I said aloud.

"Yamamoto-sotaicho has summoned you to his office, Tsuyuki-taicho." Finally, he received my request. I stood up and exited the office. I looked one last time at the room before closing the door.

I took my time and walked towards the 1st Division. Suddenly, I didn't feel so sure of what I was doing anymore. I've thought about it the whole way through the Senkaimon, the whole way through the 9th Division, the whole way I came back here, but I kept hesitating. Yet, I think I have no other choice. People would say that I am crazy for doing this, but I think that it is the best solution to everything.

I finally reached the sotaicho's office. I stood there and waited for him to appear. It felt like hours, maybe because I was nervous? Or was it because I had so many worries that time seems to slow down? I didn't know how long it had been until he came, but I knew I hesitated for a long time before speaking out loud.

"Yamamoto-sotaicho… After all this time in the Human World with Hisagi, Toshiro and the others, I've learned that being a captain is not an easy job. Even a tiny less bit of responsibility can cause major problems. I do not think that I'm suit as a captain…" I took a deep breath. "Please relieve me from my captain duties!"

_To be continued..._

xNV : I'm sorry for this terribly late update! =/ I've been busy with school works and lazy xD but hope you enjoyed this 12th part of the story! =) Leave any comments about the story! =)


	14. Part 13

xNV : I'm sorry for the late late late late update, had been lazy for a long while. Working on the 14th part already! Hope you will enjoy this part =3. Oh, and I made some slight changes to the story, so some stuffs might not make sense at first, but don't worry, I already made all the necessary changes =3. Thanks for reading and enjoy! Please review, any review is encouraging!

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"What's the reason behind your request, Tsuyuki-taicho?"

"I… I don't think I can handle being a captain anymore…"

"Are you sure?" Yamamoto-sotaicho asked me once again. I breathed deeply.

"Yes."

"I do not see why you're making such a decision. This really disappoints me. We were four who have chosen you as the 9th Division captain, do you mean that we've made a wrong decision?" I looked down, avoiding Yamamoto-sotaicho's eyes.

"I failed you." I tightened my grip on my haori. "You did not choose the wrong captain. I just chose the wrong position. I was not meant to be a captain."

"You have lost your own faith into being a captain…" My heart felt like it was going to burst. "The Gotei 13 does not need an incapable captain… but for now, I cannot accept your request. We are already short in numbers of captain, if I let you do as you wish, the fellow shinigamis will lose their hopes in the Gotei 13."

That's true… if I step down from my position during this time… all the shinigami from my division will lose their motivation… It would be a remake of what happened with Tousen… but with my condition… would it really be a wise idea to lead a whole squad of shinigamis…?

I looked at Yamamoto-sotaicho, I didn't know what to do anymore. I am even less decided than I was before I came… I looked up to him, not knowing what would be the best decision anymore.

"Tsuyuki," I returned his calm expression with my confusion. "I've known you for a very long time, even before you joined the Gotei 13… I've chosen you to become a captain because I believed you were the perfect fit." The _perfect fit_… This word didn't exist in my dictionary. Not anymore…

_The rain was dropping menacingly over me, I could do nothing but cry with the sky. I've never felt so lost, so hopeless. It had been a few days since I lost Toshiro-nii, I couldn't find any ways to find him… no matter what… I looked for people to help me… but for some reason, they ended up running away, as if I scared them away just by my looks…_

_And this loneliness frightens me. It frightened me so much I would follow anyone home, just to forget about this horrible loneliness…_

"_Yamamoto-sotaicho! We've found her!" I heard. I couldn't recognize the voice, but I could barely make out the faint outlines of a few people under that dark rainy sky._

"_Young girl… what's your name…?" I barely looked up from my crouched form, seeing a hand stretched out towards me. I was speechless. These people didn't run from me, neither did they faint seeing me, but they were trying to… help me…? Was it?_

"_Hitsugaya… Tsuyuki…"_

He said I'm the _perfect fit_ as a captain… but this was only because I have a high amount of reiatsu, probably even more than Toshiro…

"Tsuyuki, I still believe that you can do it. The fact that you've graduated from the academy within three years proves that you have great talent for becoming a Shinigami. On top of that, I've observed you for many years, you have the qualities the Gotei 13 needs for a good captain."

"… ojii-san…" Even if he says that I have the qualities of a good captain… This is a very tough job. I had lost my motivation of becoming a great shinigami already. There are much more people out there who are more competent and motivated than I am… "I had lost the reason why I became a shinigami…"

"_No! I'm not going there! I'm never going to go to the Academy!" I threw everything around me to the floor, breaking everything in the room. There was nothing I could do there, I wouldn't find Toshiro there, why should I be going?_

"_Tsuyuki!" I gasped. Jii-san came into the room. I felt that he was mad, because the air was very tense in the room. All my movements just stopped by reflexes. I bit my lips. Even though he could be very nice sometimes, he would be very strict with me on other times, especially about me becoming a shinigami. He was the one who wanted me to go to the Academy. But I found no reason for it. "You will go there! I don't care if you don't want to!" I held back tears, I hated to be yelled at. It had been almost two years and a half that I've been staying at Yamamoto-jii-san's place, and it had been almost 3 months he's been trying to make me go._

"_But-" _

"_This is for your own sake and the sake of everyone else in the universe." Why does he keep saying this? I don't get it. There are so many people out there willing to become shinigamis and he just ignores them, and I, who never wanted to become one, was forced to. This world is totally crazy._

_I stood my grounds and said nothing about it. I wasn't going to give in, even if I was scared._

_Then I heard him sigh. It was unexpected._

"_Tsuyuki, why don't you try at least one class…? I won't force you anymore if you don't want to. But you need to at least try once. If you don't like it, I'll only teach you how to control your reiatsu and I'll let you do whatever you want." Then why doesn't he just do so? "You have a great amount of reiatsu, I don't want to let it go to waste. If you manage to control this and become a shinigami, I am sure that you'll be a great asset to the Soul Society, even to the whole world."_

_But I still don't want to. Yet… if he would just let me be after one day of class, maybe it'll worth the try, right?_

"… _fine." I looked at him as I replied to his suggestion. I think that I've seen him smile for the first time._

"No… I've never had a reason to become one to start with…" this was true. I never wanted to be a shinigami. Yet, why did I end up going to the Academy and graduating…?

"Tsuyuki… do you remember your last mission before you become a captain…?" a flashback flashed through my brain before I looked up to the old man in front of me. "… in Hueco Mundo?" my hand was formed into a fist, and I could smell the blood trickling down to the floor.

"Many shinigamis died…" I remembered, they were my comrades, my best friends, but none of them survived the mission… "Their death went to waste…" I could barely remember why they died for such a stupid reason, I wasn't worth it at all.

"Would you want to have a trip there…?" I looked up shocked at Yamamoto-jiisan. Return to that… living hell? I could already feel my breath quicken, my heart rate increasing. "A reminder of your goals…" I looked at the wooden floor, unsure of what to do. But it was true, it had only been a little while since I became a captain, and I've already lost my reason of why I became one, why I continued on as a Shinigami… "I'm sure it will help settle your undecided mind." He smiled. I felt like some tension has been released. I hesitated, but accepted his offer nonetheless.

I would go back there, relive those memories, and hopefully, I'll be filled with hopes once again.

**A few hours later**

I stepped in front of the door leading to Hueco Mundo, memories already flashing through the back of my mind.

_I stood in front of the gate that leads us to Hueco Mundo, the place where all the Hollows lived. I was the leader for this mission. The 19 people that followed my lead had their lives in my hand, and I couldn't screw up. This was a big responsibility, I never really wanted to do it at first, but if so many people believed in me… I can't let them down, now even for a mere second._

_We had all just graduated from the Shinigami a few days ago, and we were already assigned to such an important mission, we had been given a whole lot of responsibility, one in which lies the lives of many human beings. Everything was pure pressure to me… but Yamamoto-jiisan was the one who took me in for all these years that Toshiro hasn't been around… I've never really learned the word 'grateful' before I met Kai, but now, that word was stuck in my head. So I would do whatever Yamamoto-jiisan wants me to, to thank him for bringing me in and taking care of me._

_I took a deep breath and took a step into the gate, listening to the 19 different steps following behind me._

"_Let's do this!"_

I stepped out of gate, onto the deserted ground of Hueco Mundo. I scanned the area, everything seemed to have stayed the same ever since I left. I looked around, taking a familiar path that I had once gone through many times before.

I walked for what seemed like hours, seeing familiar trees, sometimes spotting a hollow or two and slaying them. And then I reached an area which I remembered too clearly… Memories started to overflow my mind, yet… the one that I remembered to most had to be the one I hated the most…

_Blood._

_I watched horrified as Shin and Temi had their bodies impaled with a pale hand through their chest. Their agonized cry echoed in my head, my body shaking from a feeling I recognized as fear. I took a step back, looking at the thing the hands belonged to. My eyes widened in shock, if not in fear. It looked exactly like a human, but only with a few skulls part covering some parts of its body._

"_W-what… is that…?" Tora said beside me. His voice was trembling as much as my body. _

"_Shin… Temi…" I couldn't feel anything from them anymore. They were dead. _

_They were the first two that had died in this mission. _

_My legs were trembling, my arms were shaking, my whole body was paralyzed in front of that monster. I didn't know what I was afraid of… that my friends had been killed cruelly in front of me, or the monster that stood a few feet away from me._

I clenched my fists. This place was where nine of us were killed in one day. Shin and Temi didn't even get to see how their murderer looked, and it had only been half a year since we had gone there. Only three of us died at that time, trying to kill that monster that happened to be a Vasto Lorde, but then another of them appeared again, killing six more of us… I felt crushed at that time, I wanted to give up, to go back to Seireitei immediately and tell Yamamoto-jiisan that we couldn't do that mission, that I didn't want to see such horrible scenes anymore.

But they all gave me strength to keep going. With their last breaths, they had wished me success, they had given me their strength, and they entrusted me with their ambitions and their lives…

We stayed together for many years, fighting off hollows together… but we never seemed to be able to defeat those Vasto Lordes. Five more of us died a few years after our first encounter with the two Vasto Lordes. They had grown stronger than the last ones we met after the years. Even though we didn't sit around and do nothing, and even if we did get stronger, it didn't stop us from getting killed. Every one of us was killed… until there were only six of us left. But at the end… I was the only one who survived after all these years.

I saw a huge familiar tree in front of me, this was the place we used to go back to Seireitei after the 15-years long mission. I walked up to it and I looked at the claw scars on the tree, tracing my fingers into the scars, feeling the dried blood of my deceased comrades.

"_Tsuyuki! We're being attacked by two Vasto Lorde!" Maina called out. I swiped my head around, in time to see another horrific glance at my friend, blood pouring out of her mouth and hole in her chest. My heart pumped against my chest. The first Vasto Lordes we fought the first time we came were nothing compared to the ones that had just attacked us now…_

_It had been almost fifteen years since I've come to Hueco Mundo with the others. We started off with 20 people, but now, it was only Tora, Maina, Karen, Kyomi, Ren and me left… and Maina had just been killed. We had all graduated from the Shinigami Academy together, along with the other 14 people, we were sent here immediately after our graduation, seeing as the Central 46 saw us as 'especially gifted shinigamis generation'… but less than half of us were left alive here. And we were ordered to stay here until further notice from the Central 46 or the Gotei 13._

_We all charged towards the two Vasto Lordes, protecting Ren and Tora, who were opening the gate that lead us back to Soul Society._

_Every day, we had to wander around this vast land in search of information that we didn't know about, but at least our efforts came to fruition, we had gathered much information concerning a mutant type of hollow, but it didn't bring us far. And two days ago, we had received information to return to Soul Society, because of a major incident that had happened. It seemed that the 5__th__ Division captain, Aizen Sousuke, was murdered._

_But it was the end of things here. _

_Only Tora and me survived._

_I had to look as my three last comrades died in the blast of a cero. Nothing else but their painful screams reached my ears._

_The first time we encountered them had almost half of the group sacrificed. We had naturally gotten better and keener with our fighting skills, but we never outgrew the Vasto Lorde level… Now, Maina, Karen, Kyomi and Ren had sacrificed themselves, protecting us, so we could go back to Soul Society, even though the two of us were badly injured. But they believed in us, so we hurried back to Seireitei, bringing the last piece of information with us, leaving our subordinates' remains behind. I've always regretted that. I always did._

_When we arrived to Seireitei, we were rushed to the 4__th__ Division's headquarters, and surprisingly, I was less injured than I thought I was, but it was a whole different story for Tora. He was fatally injured and he didn't have a long time left to live. So I spent the last days of his days with him._

"_Tsuyuki… we all believe in you…" I knew it was his last words, but I couldn't bring myself to cry. "We believe that you'll make the best leader out of us all… that is why we were all willing to sacrifice our lives to protect you." My hand formed into a fist, the shinigami fabric almost tearing apart because of my finger nails digging into it._

"_They protected you too. You can't die!" Tora smiled, a sweet smile that reminded me of Kai._

"_I wanted to protect you. And I did, you survived. That was my last wish. No… it was OUR last wish. This was the wish of the 19 shinigamis who died as your subordinates, as your comrades." I watched as he slowly closed his eyes._

"_Tora… I'm still your leader… I won't allow you to die. I order you not to die!" I felt tears slip as he took his last breath. He was my closest friend since we moved to the Hueco Mundo, I couldn't bear to see him die in front of me. I could do nothing for him. I could do nothing for the comrades who died for me._

_So I vowed to protect their wish until the day I die. I vowed to keep the peace in the Human World and Soul Society, for their sake. I live for them, for the people who sacrificed themselves for me._

"I won't break that promise." I turned on my heels, remembering about my vow, my promise to the deceased.

I headed towards the gate back to Soul Society. I _promise_ that I won't forget about that ever again, and that I'll be living with their ambitions until the day I die…

"_C-C'mon… Tora… we can make it…" I held Tora's arm over my shoulder, he could barely walk, he was almost limping, even I, I had trouble controlling my legs. Every step I took felt like thousands of needles being stuck through my bones, and I knew he didn't feel any better than I did._

"_T-Tsuyuki… I know… I feel I can't… last long…" I felt my grip around his waist tighten._

"_You'll make it… I know you will!" I had already lost so many friends, I didn't want to lose him too. Or rather, I didn't want to face the fact that he truly couldn't make it past all those injuries._

_I tried quickening my pace so I could make it quicker to the exit to Soul Society, even if my body didn't allow it._

"_You've made it so far…! You can't give up now!" it was true, we had survived so many years in Hueco Mundo, with no one around to help us, we've also survived deadly injuries, and survived, so why not now? "Just don't give up… Tora…" I barely took a glimpse at him from the corner of my eyes, but I thought I saw him smile._

_Tora was a boy who didn't like to smile a lot, he was always moody, but serious at the same time. It always looked like he was looking at something far away, but at the end, he's just thinking about his home, the Soul Society. I know he hated being here, but he'd never leave without accomplishing the mission we were given, because to him, protecting the living was worth more than his own life._

"_Tsuyuki… if I don't… make it… My ambition… no… our ambitions…" I felt something sting in my eyes._

"_Tora…"_

"_I'll… I wish you'll… fulfill them…" but he ignored me. I didn't want him to keep going on, he was just saying anything, and nothing made sense. Not to me._

"_Tora…"_

"_It'll be… my last wish…"_

_I didn't say anything. In a second, we were blinded by a white light, and then I just remember seeing Unohana-taicho before I fell unconscious._

I never really promised Tora that I'd do it, because I never replied him… but if they all died for me, then I'll carry their burdens on my shoulder. Their lives became one with mine, so what they are means what I am.

I looked around, I was back to Seireitei, and it was very early in the morning. I didn't how long I spent in Hueco Mundo, but the place I was seeing now felt suddenly so distant to me, like it was a totally new place for me to discover, just like the day I came back from my mission with Tora. I didn't want to go back to my division yet, nor go see Yamamoto-jiisan yet.

I had another place to go to. I still had to make everything clear, everything about me becoming a full fledged shinigami. I had to go back to the Academy, where I met Kai and the others.

I still remembered the way to the Academy perfectly, as if it was only yesterday that I had gone there. I made many turns to the left and to the right until I reached my destination. It was filled with apprentice shinigamis, like the first day I came. Not a bit has it changed. I smiled, yet I felt hesitant to take another step closer. I remembered many good memories from this place, how I made friends with many people, but now, all those people weren't there anymore.

I took a deep breath and gathered my courage. I slowly walked into the Academy, which I once walked out proudly. I could hear a few whispers of the students, wondering what a captain ranked shinigami could be doing here, but I said nothing and kept on walking. I was going to walk into a path filled with flashbacks that will probably tell me once again why I became a shinigami.

I stood in front of the gate, looking up to the words that read 'Academy', the first place I reached upon coming here. Many years ago, I knew that behind those walls was a place where people learned how to become a shinigami, how to fight and become leaders, but I was afraid of entering it… because I never knew what I had to be waiting for, I didn't want to face people who feared me once again.

_I hid behind Yamamoto-jiisan. Everyone that we had passed by had given us weird looks that I didn't enjoy. I felt like I was shrinking behind those looks, it felt like looks could kill. I didn't understand why. I just stayed close to Yamamoto-jiisan's back and walked slowly behind him, like a kid hiding behind his parents. At the same time, I couldn't help but look curiously around the place as we took our steps into the Academy where shinigami were formed. My curiosity only grew bigger when my eyes fell upon a young man. He had dark raven hair that matched with his ocean blue eyes, a serious look plastered on his face as he looked at a younger boy practicing on his swordsmanship, as known as _Zanjutsu_._

_For some reason, I felt attracted to this man, like he had some special powers that had pulled me towards him. Even with his serious look on, he emanated an aura that made me feel comfortable, like he was someone who we could trust easily._

_He then looked at my direction curiously, and did something I never expected to see here._

_He smiled at me._

_His smile was like the fire melting my hesitation of coming here._

_I didn't know if he was really smiling at me or not, but I took it as granted. I bowed back to him before continuing my way into the building, quickly losing sight of him._

_Once inside, I didn't know what had happened, but it felt like another world. Everyone had a smile on their face, unlike the place where I lived, where everyone only had serious expressions… or no expressions at all. I just looked wordlessly as some people that passed by us bowed politely to Yamamoto-jiisan. I released a sigh, relieved that I felt comfortable around, that I could blend in easily, hopefully._

I looked at the place where Kai stood when I first met him, his smile was one of the things I could never forget about. And then I met him again, the same day, in my first class.

He was in his third year, and had a lot of potential, according to some teachers. He quickly became my private tutor for my kido training, and we started spending more and more time together. I eventually started making many friends as I went to class. They had told me a lot about their lives, and they had taught me a lot as well.

I didn't know it was the influence of Yamamoto-jiisan or it was because of myself really, but on my second year, I was allowed to skip through three years of Academy and immediately attend classes with the sixth years. I was happy, because all the friends I made were in their sixth years, so was Kai. So I accepted and went with them.

I smiled at my memories, it was fun times. We would pull pranks on each others, laugh at each other and talk about anything during class.

_I inwardly laughed as I threw bits of rolled paper on Kai, who sat a seat in front of me. Tora and Maina were looking at me, trying to hold back their laughter. He couldn't turn around, because the sensei would see, so I just used that as my cover. And normally, about half way through the class, his hair would be filled with pieces of paper, exactly like it had just snowed in class._

_But then I couldn't stop myself from bursting out of laughter with Tora and Maina. I barely saw from the corners of my eyes that the sensei was looking at us, along with the rest of the class and 'snow' falling off Kai's head as he turned around._

"_Hitsugaya-kun, Yuirima-kun, Asimane-kun, what are you doing?" the sensei yelled, but we just couldn't answer him, since we were laughing our asses off. "You guys, out of the classroom! You know the drill!"_

_The three of us obediently walked out, standing at the door of the class, staying silent. But the fun didn't end here yet. We knew that the teacher wouldn't be calling us back in anytime soon, so we quietly ran outside of the building._

I sighed. It was indeed good times. I made unbelievably many friends, but my interest never changed. Kai was always one of my best friends, and my only crush. But sadness always had a word for me, my happiness was short-lived…

"_For today's mission, you guys have to each kill a Hollow, luckily, we've spotted many actions of these monsters lately, so you will have to kill at least two per teams. Please let me remind you that this is not a practice, but the real thing. Mind I warn you guys, do not get killed. If the mission becomes too dangerous, we will call you back and retreat." The instructor said._

_I felt very excited. This was going to be my first mission, and I couldn't wait for it. I was paired up with Kai, and we were supposed to go look around the town for Hollows. We had to, at least, kill two Hollows to complete the mission, and I knew I could do it. Kai and me formed the best team, that's what I've always thought. He was one of the best students around the Academy, and I had _talent_ of becoming one, like Yamamoto-jiisan said._

_I looked around the vast field of grass, we were alone here. Earlier, we had separated the small town in many district, each team occupying one, and luckily, me and Kai got the District that had almost no human passing by. We weren't given anything to help us find the Hollows, since the instructor said he wanted us to _feel_ it. I was happy that I could find one extremely close to us, well, actually, it found us before. _

_I just grinned. I was going to show Kai that I've grown stronger now, and that this Hollow would be nothing for me._

_I ran towards the monster, my Zanpakuto in both of my hands._

"_No! Tsuyuki! Don't!" Kai warned me._

"_I'm going to be fine! Let me do it!"_

This was our first and last mission together as a team. Kai had died for me, for my stubbornness. Tora, Maina and the others tried to cheer me up, but I just couldn't do it anymore. And then came Hyokorimaru. I smiled.

I reached a small pond within the Academy's walls, I remember that I occasionally came here with Tora and Maina after Kai's death. It was here that they told me everything about their lives and dreams, and vice versa.

Tora always said that he wanted to beat Kai and be better than him, even after his death. He wanted to become one of the best shinigami in the Gotei 13, he wanted to lead his own squad and be someone who everyone would respect. Maina, on the other side, was a lot like Kai. She always said that she wanted to protect the peace in the Human World and in Soul Society, and that she'd be proud of herself if she could die for Soul Society. Personally, I never really had any dreams to myself, I had always thought that I only wanted to respect Yamamoto-jiisan's wish because he took me in when I was living the hell of my life.

But then I found my own reason. I wanted protect the Human World and Soul Society like Kai and Maina, but my objective was elsewhere. I wanted the dead to find a home, like I did, and I wanted to become stronger to protect those around me, and not hurt them.

"_You can never give up, if you're not strong enough, then keep getting stronger, if you're not smart enough, then ask a friend for help."_

I sat down, laying my back against a tree by the pond. It was getting dark out, the stars and moon was out, and the sun was almost disappearing. It had been a long day, but I finally found the key to myself. I had removed my haori, only wearing the black shihakusho, indeed, sometimes, it felt better without extra weight on your back. With the haori on, I would always feel like crumbling under all these responsibilities as a captain. But now, every time I wear it, I will remember about Kai, Tora and the others.

I sighed out of relief. The night felt refreshing as I felt a small breeze brush against my cheek. It was familiar, as if it's telling me that I'm not alone.

"I won't give up."

I felt for my Zanpakuto that was lying by my side. I brought it up to my eye level, looking at its sheath. Its ocean blue color reminded me of Kai's eyes, they were always ocean deep, like he was thinking far away. I took the hilt in my hand and pulled out the blade by a few inches. My eyes widened.

It looked different.

I took a closer look, noticing a kanji word engraved just beside the hilt.

_Forever_.

I smiled. I let it rest on my lap, after closing the gap between the sheath and the hilt.

"Thanks, _Hyokorimaru_."

I closed my eyes, feeling my slow heartbeat and listening to my own even breathing. I had been a while since I got to relax like this. The breeze was cool and refreshing, as if it was there just to soothe my skin. I felt the ticklish sensation as my short hair brushed against my neck, almost forgetting about the outside world. I relaxed all my muscles one by one, slowly slipping into my inner world…

I could almost feel the pulse of Hyokorimaru, until my ears picked up slow and light footsteps coming towards my direction.

"Was your journey helpful…?" I recognized it as Yamamoto-jiisan's voice. I slowly opened my eyes, still looking at the shiny moon in the sky.

"You have too much faith in me." I stated which standing up, my Zanpakuto in hand, and turning around to face him. His expression didn't change much, it was always the one with the serious look. "But I'll still do my best." I walked up to him, feeling much more comfortable than the last time I'd seen him. "I'll take back my words from before." A smile from the heart curved my lips upwards while I looked at the old shinigami in front of me.

"I see. This was a wise decision, Tsuyuki."

"But I want to stay a few more days until I return to the Human World." I stared at him as his eyes slightly opened, looking at me surprised, but I didn't answer to his reaction. I kept quiet and looked at Hyokorimaru that rested between my fingers, feeling the vibes that it was emanating.

I wanted to get stronger before I return to them, be useful at the least.

And I would face everything that was thrown at me, either it's my enemies, my friends, my weakness, or even the memory I've forgotten.

_To be continued..._


	15. Part 14

I sat down quietly, avoiding the countless of glares that my comrades were giving me. Even though I was one of the highest ranked shinigami in this room, I just couldn't help feeling helpless under the tense air… and their killer glares… Sigh…

I had just come back from Soul Society a few hours ago, immediately greeted by Toshiro and, sadly, a very furious Hisagi (Yes, he was really fuming when he looked at me). During all our way here, back to our headquarters, a.k.a our house – let's call it mansion instead - in the Human World, he had been giving me a lecture about how it wasn't good that I left my duties and comrades behind, returning to Soul Society by myself, which I half-heartedly listened to. Honestly, sometimes, I feel like he's the captain between us both. Or maybe just like a father lecturing his child… Ok, that was a bit far, I twitched at that idea. I really couldn't see Hisagi as my dad. The only picture I could get close to it was him returning home drunk every night… Oh god…

Hisagi and I were the total opposite of Matsumoto and Toshiro… but only for these types of situation. As a captain, I'd never let my subordinates tell me what to do, because I'm just that way, but between friends, I wouldn't mind… kind of.

I sighed. Now that I think of it, I'm sitting there and probably waiting for a second lecture from either Hisagi or Toshiro, as they were the only ones there, along with Renji and Matsumoto, whom I suppose won't start rambling about me leaving my captain duties and such. Yet, I tried to gather all my strength and look at them straight into their eyes. I took a deep breath and pumped out the right words.

"I'm sorry for having left so suddenly." I slightly bowed, an action that I would usually do while apologizing. I breathed in deeply, having said that all in one breath, preparing for the worst.

But it felt as if this apologize lifted everything from the tense air, I suddenly felt light and relaxed as Matsumoto pulled me into one of her signature bear hugs.

"I'm just glad you're fine now! You look even healthier than before!" I felt a small smile replacing my tense features. Indeed, there are a lot of stuffs I've seen through during those few days I was back in Seireitei. Once again, I had found my reason to be a shinigami, a reason why I shouldn't give up. I would step forward and face off anything if I would have to. I hugged Matsumoto back, and whispered small words that would be comprehensible enough only to people around me.

"Thank you, everyone."

I would face anything.

"Tsuyuki! You're finally back!" I blinked. Who was calling me?

I pulled away from Matsumoto and looked up, seeing Rukia and the orange hair teenager. I only nodded at her, my eyes leaving her, resting on the features of the unfamiliar boy.

They all say that I know him, but I can't seem to feel anything about him. It feels like we're only acquaintances. I sighed. I was supposed to be close to him, right?

I stood up and walked towards him, scanning his sad expression as it turned into a slightly shocked one. I looked carefully at his whole being, orange hair, light brown eyes, about a foot or more taller than me.

"Kurosaki… Ichigo, right?" He barely nodded. Seeing his expression just made me think that I've spilled salt onto his wounds, yet I still tried to smile. "I'm sorry about everything." I know how it feels to have lost someone precious to myself, I feel like I can change everything if I just forced myself a bit, but I almost feel bad for not being able to help him earlier.

"No… it's not your fault, nothing was." He looked away, I couldn't look at him. I felt guilty.

The moment he looked away and walked pass me, I felt like my heart has turned into a rock, it felt heavier, so heavy it was hard to breathe. It was a different feeling, something that I've never felt before, _maybe_ this was another level of the guiltiness I felt. I took a deep breath and turned around.

"Let's have a seat, Rukia." I desperately tried to pull out a smile, trying to forget that feeling of guiltiness.

"Okay, alright, since we're all here now, let's get it over with." Toshiro started. I took my place quietly, waiting for the conversation to start.

This was a meeting that Toshiro called a few hours ago, right when I just got back from Soul Society, he wanted them to fill me in with information as well as compile every small details they've gotten from the latest fight they had with the Arrancars, while I was away in Seireitei. "With the latest attack, we can finally confirm that Aizen has come back into action with his minion of Arrancars. So, starting from today, we'll all have to be on our guards for any surprise attacks."

[…]

"This lasted longer than I thought…" I laid down on my bed, my muscles strained from the restless days that I had gone through, looking up at the darkened ceiling above me. The bed felt soft and cold, a very comfortable place to sleep on, but I just couldn't bring myself to close my mind, yet my body was insisting me into going to sleep.

Everyone had gone back into their room right after the meeting. We all had our own room, with me and Toshiro occupying the biggest ones, which included the bathroom and a personal office in each. Ikkaku and Yumichika, who just came back from patrolling right after our meeting, and along with Renji, Hisagi, Matsumoto and Rukia each found themselves a room that suited them best, either at the far south of the house, or the far north of the house. Renji kept insisting on getting a room close to Rukia's, so he could help her if anything happened. Toshiro was the same. Toshiro insisted on me taking the room beside his, so he would know if anything happened. As for Hisagi, he kept insisting on taking the room beside Matsumoto's *cough*cough*. I heard that some of them even fought for a room, seriously.

I smiled at everyone's silliness. It was good, during a critical period of time like this one…

The tiredness I felt earlier in the day wasn't there anymore, I was wide awake and letting thoughts overflow my mind. Things that I didn't think of before, that I didn't take my time to analyze… They were all haunting me one by one now. Even if it had been more than a week since they told me about Kurosaki Ichigo, I could still remember everything they said like it was only today, just a moment ago, clear as water.

"_Ichigo and you met here, in the Human World. We were out on a mission against the Arrancars, like today."_

I closed my eyes, a burning sensation filling them. I know I once came here with them, I even met Sado, Orihime and Ishida. But Kurosaki… His name and his face are so distinct to me, not like someone I've ever known or met. His orange hair is so unique I would remember at the first sight, so it's really not easy to forget…

"_We once went to the 'amusement park' with Ichigo! He even gave you a teddy bear!"_

A what…? An amusement… park? I've never heard of that. It doesn't even sound familiar or anything close to that. And I don't even remember having a teddy bear around. I was never really the type to fall for a plush or any of those kinds of thing.

"_Then… then do you remember Ichigo and me, when we started to date…?"_

Okay, right. This… this really wouldn't have made any sense. Before, they said that he had feelings for me, but then right after… he dates Rukia? Something must have been mistaken…

But then also… knowing myself… I wouldn't have gone for it, even if I really had something for him, if I knew that Rukia or a friend was after him.

"_Tsuyuki-chan, do you remember when we were at Orihime Inoue's house? When you kissed him?"_

I felt my eyes snap open. _Did I kiss him…? Really…?_ Okay, this sounds a bit fake, why would I kiss him if I knew Rukia liked him? They say it was because of the alcohol effect, but I didn't think I'm _that_ intolerant to alcohol that I'll completely lose my mind to do such… stuff like these.

Why am I thinking of all this anyways…? It's just bothering me more and more… Past should stay as past, it shouldn't bother my future, it shouldn't bother anything that I do now… If I can't remember, I can't do anything about it…

But if I do remember someday… I'll go for what future has in store for me.

I feel myself being drifted into another flashback of those… until I felt a familiar presence at the door of my room.

Then that person politely knocked. I looked toward the entrance to see the outline of someone I knew too well.

"Are you asleep yet?" the voice was soft and caring, unlike his usual serious one. I sat up, looking at him, looking at the moonlight reflecting on his white silver hair and turquoise eyes.

"It's late, shouldn't you be sleeping at this time…?" I turned on the light of the lamp that was just on the nightstand beside my bed. I looked as he walked in and sat down on the couch close to my bed.

"How about you? You aren't asleep yet." I looked away. Yeah, it was true. There was a lot in my mind. "You're my twin, I know you too well to be thinking that you'd be sleeping with so much stuff happening around you." Toshiro knew me too well. "Are you still trying to remember about Kurosaki Ichigo?" he asked after a moment. I only gave him a nod.

"I'm trying to put the pieces together… but nothing's working…" I said. "Sometimes, it really makes me doubt that everything you guys said are true. But I also know that you guys won't lie to me…" I just let myself fall onto my bed once again. Somehow, I really want to gain back this memory I had lost, but even with all my might, nothing would come out of it.

"You really want to remember?" I sighed. Not that I don't want to, I just can't… And from what Rukia said, she was dating Kurosaki before. Is it really okay for me to remember? Will something happen if I do remember…? Why can't I remember him? Is there a reason why I can't remember him at all? "Have you ever thought that if you remember everything, you might be suffering?" I bit my lips. It was exactly what I was just thinking…

"I… am well aware of this…" I answered. I felt my words staggering on themselves.

"You don't look so sure." I wasn't. I might be giving up my happiness for this memory. Just the thought of it wasn't very welcoming.

"Toshiro… I… I'm sure that everyone would want to remember something they've forgot, and I, too, want to find this missing piece, but if it is something that would only hurt, I don't know what would be better… to remember, or not to…" I really am unsure of myself. I am afraid of losing my happiness. Maybe me losing my memory would have been something I wanted? Maybe it is something good for me?

"Maybe you guys really weren't meant to be…" I knew he wasn't planning to tell me this, as I only heard it in a mere whisper. "If you really want to remember…" I couldn't hear what he said after, or I was the one who didn't bother to listen… Then I heard Toshiro stand up from the couch and take steps further toward the door. "Get some sleep now, it's been a tiring day. Good night, Tsuyuki."

"Goodnight…" I turned off the lamp.

It was not as easy as it was said. I kept turning and tossing in my bed, feeling the fabric under me getting more and more uncomfortable, even though my mind told me it was.

I couldn't get any sleep at all. I even tried to take a boring book and read it, but I was so off I couldn't even read two pages – something that actually happens frequently. I tried counting the sheep (yes, a very childish way for me), but I keep losing count of it… By the time I looked out of the window, the sun was already starting to rise. I gave up on falling asleep. I stood up and picked Hyokorimaru from the desk and went out for a walk.

I barely reached the kitchen when I heard Renji and Kurosaki's voices…

"Are you going to give up on her if she still doesn't remember anything…?" they must be talking about me… I should go.

I really wanted to leave until I heard his answer. Honestly, I expected him to say yes… but he didn't.

"Renji, you know what I'll reply. When you came back and took back Rukia to Soul Society, I did every possible thing to bring her back, stop the execution, this wouldn't be any different. I'll do anything to make her remember me." What? "And I've got that feeling… even if she really… can't remember about me, maybe it's a second chance that I was given to make up for all the mistakes between Tsuyuki and me. Maybe this can mean something new for us, do you get it?"

He's trying so hard for me… And yet I… I just sit there and doubt him…

Didn't I just tell myself that I'd step forward? That I wouldn't run away from the monsters of my past? That I'd face anything that I'm confronted with? Why am I even hesitating then?

This is… This… These questions are just invading my mind… I need to take some fresh air…

I walked away, the sound of their voice disappearing into the distance. I feel like my life has been messed up ever since I became a shinigami. I thought that I was starting to untie the knots one by one when I came back from Seireitei, but this knot wasn't as easy as I thought. Sometimes, I tie it tighter without even realizing it…

I soon noticed that I reached a river – by _almost_ drowning in it. Sigh. I walked a bit further from the water and sat down on the grass, letting the nature's song play in my head. It was the only thing that could relieve me from my thoughts now. The morning breeze beside the river was just perfect for me. I easily let my consciousness slip away…

"Tsuyuki…?" … what?

I was going to kill that person for waking me up. My head snapped around, my frown increasing with the movement.

"What is it?" I snapped. I didn't get any sleep at all, so I was getting pissed easily. I looked up to see the boy I've been trying to think about for all this while. "Kurosaki… Ichigo?" I felt my angriness drop immediately as soon as I saw him, getting it replaced by the feeling of what I'm thinking is guilt. He had a very sad look on his face, but I saw him put on a small smile on his face as he heard me call him by his name. I tried imitating his acts as he sat down beside me.

_I withdrew Hyokorimaru. I would fight him if I had to. I glared at him._

"_Stay away." Toshiro came closer and asked me to put Hyokorimaru back into her sheath. I had to listen. Unwillingly._

"_Tsuyuki…?" I felt his voice trembling. No, I saw his whole body shake._

"I'm sorry for that time…" I looked far in front of me. I felt his eyes on me. I wouldn't know how to react if I looked at him.

"No… It's okay… It's not your fault… You should stop apologizing every time you see me…" he replied. What should I say? I really… don't know what I should do. He's like a total stranger to me…

"Are you sad…? Because I can't remember you…" It was a question I've always wanted to ask, but the answer was too obvious that the question itself sounded stupid… I heard him sigh. I don't know how many sighs I've heard since everything happened, but it was starting to rub its effects on me.

"Maybe everything will be better this way…" I immediately turned my head to look at him. _What was he saying?_ I thought he wanted me to remember. I thought that maybe he could encourage me to remember. What happened for everything to have come to this? "But I really wish that you could've remembered…" His eyes turned towards me, glinting from the tears he tried to hold back. As he looked into my eyes, I immediately looked away. I felt as if a strange feeling was been poured into me when I looked into his brown orbs. "S-Sorry…" Why was he apologizing?

For some reason, a warm aura that emanated from him cured me from my insomnia. I rested my chin on my knee, letting my tiredness take over and slip into sleep…

[…]

*…. riiiing!*

_Huh? It feels so comfortable…?_

"Yeah, she's with me now…" I tried to lift my heavy eyelids and looked up to see who this deep voice belonged to…

Oh. My. Gosh.

I immediately backed away. No, I almost ran away.

This whole time, _I've been sleeping on his shoulder?_ How did this happen?

"You're awake? Are you okay?" I blinked.

"Y-yeah. Sorry." I looked away, resting my legs on the cold grass and taking in deep shares of the fresh air into my lungs.

I took a quick glance at his direction, noticing that he was looking towards the river, an unreadable expression masking his emotions. Somehow, this quick glance reminded me of Kai. They looked so much alike from the side.

"You've been looking at me since you woke up." I kept my gaze on the fellow shinigami. I just can't seem to pull my gaze away from him. It took me a few seconds longer to be able to look back straight, right towards the river. It always took me a few seconds longer to register what he had just said.

"Oh, hum, sorry. I didn't mean to be rude."

"Is… there something wrong? Do you… remember something?" My mood shot right down at his words. I felt bad for him, he was the only one that I couldn't remember out of all the crowd I knew. He must be feeling horrible… I just didn't have the heart to tell him a simple word, 'no'…

"-yuki! Tsuyuki!" I turned around to the familiar voice. I saw Toshiro, Matsumoto, Hisagi and Rukia running towards me, glad that they came at the right timing. I automatically stood up and dusted off my clothing from the grass and dirt.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked, wondering why they were here. Kurosaki did the same movements I did.

"Taicho was worried sick about you." I thought I saw Matsumoto flash a smirk at me. Toshiro only glared at her.

"That's not true. We were looking for you, because we needed you to patrol around with Hisagi." Yeah, right. I _totally didn't see_ that worried look on your face, Toshiro. "We never thought that you'd be with him…" I looked on my right to look at Kurosaki.

"We just happened to bump into each other here." He explained. I only nodded, not sure if it was true, or that if he had seen me by Renji's room earlier this morning and just followed me here.

"Anyways, Hisagi, let's go." I walked towards Hisagi, who was in his shinigami form already. I looked at myself, noting that I still had my haori and shihakusho on. Yup, I didn't bother to put on my gigai yesterday when I had just gotten back from Seireitei.

I was about to leave for my duty until I remembered something…

"Um… Kurosaki, we could hang out someday if you want… maybe it'll help."

Well, if I hadn't tried, how can I say that I can't remember? Might as well do the best I can, since I said I'd face anything that was going to be given to me.

"Let's go, Hisagi."

Hisagi and I left to the southern part of the town while Toshiro and Matsumoto had the northern part of the town all for themselves. Last night, we had all decided that we'd be going on patrols in two teams of two instead of only one team, since it'd be much safer to do it that way, but it also means that we'd have to work double our shift time, not that it really bothered me.

"Taicho… I've wanted to ask you many times ever since you returned from Soul Society, but I didn't really get the chance to…"

"What is it, Hisagi?" I didn't even bother to look straight at him, I was only trying to concentrate on my job.

"Why did you return to Seireitei?" I looked at a couple that just walked out from a store, both of them happily snuggled into each others' arms.

"There was a lot in my mind, Hisagi." The next person I saw was a child, holding her parents hands, begging them to buy her something. "As strong as I might seem, I'm still an inexperienced captain, there're many things I can't see through by myself, there are many things I need help for." Sometimes, I do feel bad for Hisagi, since I can almost bet that I am the most immature captain in the whole Gotei 13, but I am truly glad to have him as my fukutaicho, since he can take over for my mistakes and my incompetence. "I'm sorry, Hisagi… but I can promise that I'll do better." I might seem like a perfect wanted captain from the outside, but like it happened before, something small can break through my confidence.

But I won't let that happen again. Never again. I'll take responsibility for everything.

"You're doing great Taicho. We, fukutaichos, are here to support our captain in any ways, no one can be perfect."

"Thanks, Hisagi…" _You're the best fukutaicho I can think of having…_

We randomly walked around Karakura town, looking for abnormalities, for any traces of hollows or Arrancars. But instead, I felt relaxed like I was taking a morning walk with a friend. I had that feeling that nothing would happen today, everything went too smoothly for something to happen…

It is only now that I realized that Hisagi wasn't a very talkative man, the whole time, he hadn't spoken to me at all, probably is was because he was still mad at me for leaving without leaving a word or anything like a note behind. Or perhaps it was because I was boring him. Yeah, the latter one would explain this better. As talkative as I am, I can easily pass for those quiet, lonely types of people. Well, now I do get why my Zanpakuto is a twin one… It seems that I have a double personality that only I know of… and maybe Toshiro knows too.

I looked at the sky, noticing only now that I've been neglecting the time pass by. It was already six hours pass noon, and the sky was already mixing up its color to turn into shades of orange, purple and yellow. It looked amazing behind the buildings that were set up in the town, more than I've ever thought. Before I could think of anything else, a waving figure caught my attention.

"Tsuyuki! Hisagi-fukutaicho!" I looked clearly ahead to see Rukia and Orihime waving at Hisagi and I. We picked up our pace by a tiny bit and walked up to them, greeting them the usual way.

"Hey." Hisagi looked around them, his eyes eagerly looking for something… or someone, as I suspect. "Only you two? Where's Abarai and the others?" by _others_, I thought he meant Ikkaku, Yumichika, Toshiro and Matsumoto, since they should've done their patrolling by now, and I was right. But honestly, I think Matsumoto was his main point.

"Ikkaku and Yumichika are taking over for Hitsugaya-taicho and Matsumoto-fukutaicho, so they should be here anytime. Renji should be here soon since we're taking over for you guys." I slightly nodded to show my appreciation and looked at the bag in Orihime's hand.

"You guys went -"

"Try and catch me!" a very loud voice caught my attention. Well, not only me, I think that the others around were taken back by the outburst as well. But it wasn't that that had caught my attention, it was the familiarity of the male voice.

I could barely register what was happening, but I just knew that there was a guy running at full speed towards me...

"Oufff!"

"Tsuyuki!"

"Taicho!"

Owwwwwww.

I opened my eyes, rubbing the back of my head to dissipate the pain. But everything just seemed to stop when I met with ocean blue eyes… a very familiar pair of deep blue orbs.

"… Kai…?" the words just flew out of my lips like it was natural.

"Hey you! Don't run! Stop right there!"

I couldn't even bring myself to blink, not even for a mere demi-second.

"I'm sorry!" the familiar voice rang again, but along with the guy, it left.

He shot up as he crawled back up and ran away, not even glancing back. And I lay on the ground, speechless. I feel like the world around me is spinning. He looked exactly like Kai. No… That wasn't true, he didn't look like him at all, Kai had dark raven hair… this boy, he had brown hair and they didn't look alike at all. Yet, he had exactly the same voice… the eyes were familiar too… Is my mind toying around with me…?

"Taicho! Taicho! Are you okay?" Huh?

"Oh, uh, yeah…" Hisagi's calls brought me back to myself. I sat up quietly, the memory still running through my mind.

"That's weird… Normally… no one can see or communicate with us." My eyes widened.

That was true. Too true.

That guy couldn't have seen us. We were in our shinigami forms. But he still managed to run into me. That couldn't have been a coincidence. No it couldn't… but someone with such high reiatsu…

"But there's no way we couldn't have felt someone with such high reiatsu." I nodded in agreement as Hisagi helped me up to my feet. "That kid… something must be wrong about him…" He was right, unless that guy was a Quincy or a Shinigami… there's no way we couldn't have sensed him coming.

"Oh! I remember!" Orihime's sweet voice overtook the conversation as the few of us turned to her for more information. "I thought I've seen him somewhere!"

"Who is he?" Rukia asked.

"He's in our class! Its Kobushin Kain-san!" _Kain_? "He's almost never attending class, but when he does, it's mostly for tests, and he does really well at them… he's always one of the top ten in the school!" A student in Karakura High School… Who is he… really?

"Well, being chased around like this, it doesn't seem like he's that good kind of student." Rukia commented.

"Well… that I'm not sure…" Orihime said timidly.

I turned around, looking at the direction where the guy had gone to.

"Kobushin Kain…" Who are you exactly? His eyes… they were exactly the same as Kai's… I'm sure… "Rukia… we'll do some investigation on him starting tomorrow… Something about him troubles me." Either it was for personal matters or Seireitei, I couldn't let it go easily. "Hisagi, you'll be patrolling alongside Abarai Renji, he'll be taking my place for a few days."

"Taicho…" I heard him step forward, ready to launch his question at me.

"If what you worry about is about Hitsugaya-taicho's approval, I'll talk to him myself." I said, trying to make things clear.

"No… it's not that…" he looked away. "It's… It's not only his reiatsu that bothers you… right?" I didn't respond. "I heard you, when you called _his_ name." I sighed.

"So you heard, huh?" I turned and looked up at him.

"Heard what?" Rukia and Orihime got closer to us. For some reason, even if deep inside me I didn't want to tell them anything, I felt like I had to. It was like an obligation, there was no way I could not tell them about his resemblance with Kai, a resemblance that frightens me to the bottom of my soul, even if it was only his eyes and his voice.

"This guy just now… he reminded me of Mishigawa Kai, a former comrade of mine."

"Reminded…"

"… you?"

"This is a plus to why I have to know more about him." As though as this is a personal matter, it is as much as a matter Seireitei should consider. "This is why I wanted Rukia to look into it with me. His reiatsu… is unusual." Unless he hid his reiatsu voluntarily… there's no way we couldn't have sensed him at all.

**The next morning**

…

…

I felt utterly uncomfortable.

"Um… Is something wrong, Tsuyuki?" I barely glanced at Rukia before returning my attention to the grey school uniform I was wearing. It's not that I hated to wear this, or that I've never worn it, or that I had something against it, but this… the red bow around the neck was just uncomfortable! I felt like choking between it!

"… it's nothing…" even though this was my reply, I felt my eyebrow twitch. "Why is being a human teenager so annoying…" we did have school back in Soul Society, but it was only the Shinigami Academy that I've attended for only three years. And at least, we didn't have those annoying, choking outfits.

"We're there soon." I looked up, noticing the familiar white school behind the gates.

"Kuchiki-san! Tsuyuki-chan!" well, looks like we won't be alone.

I turned around along with Rukia, seeing Orihime and Kurosaki behind me.

"Oii! Ichigo! Orihime!" she yelled. Well, let's say I was a bit shocked. It's a new side of her that I've yet more to learn about. She suddenly returned my stare, her eyes blinking, and then a sorry look appeared on her face.

"Oh! Tsuyuki! Sorry! Did I yell too loud? Maybe I should-" I couldn't help but smile.

"No, it's okay. I have to try and act like a normal high school student for now anyways, it doesn't really matter." Well, that's also the reason I gave myself. "But I wouldn't mind if it was only once in a while." At least, I have to go in action and not just think about it, so I took a deep breath and raised my hands.

"Kurosaki! Orihime! Ohayo!"

"Tsuyuki… it's Ichigo." Rukia whispered me. Oh, yeah right. I totally forgot.

We had planned everything out with them last night, Kurosaki would pose as my cousin, since they thought it'd be awkward if I just hung out with their group at the first day, so they had to put up some kind of reasons for whoever that asks.

We waited patiently until they caught us up before continuing to the school.

"'Morning." I looked at the expression on the orange haired boy's face, he was _smiling_. No, I didn't mistake it. He was _smiling_ for the first time since I've 'met' him.

I looked back at Orihime and Rukia. They might think I haven't noticed that, but they were really trying to give me and Kurosaki some space. They were walking about a few yards away from us. Just thinking about it made my mood drop. Rukia, Orihime and the others are trying so hard to make me remember, and I can't even think of anything related to him. And… just being around him makes me feel uncomfortable, awkward. Hm… how can I say it…?

Yes! Like this bowtie! It feels like it's strangling me, because I don't know what to say or how to react around him, but if I don't say anything, it just doesn't seem right.

"Hey, um, you know you can just act normally… right? You don't have to do anything in specific only because you don't… um… remember me…" I looked up at the boy. He exactly knew what I was thinking. It was like he was reading my mind, like as everything I was thinking was written in front of him.

"Um… yes… right… I think… I'll get going first…" I ran away. Not because I didn't like him, not at all, but it was because I had this unusual feeling pouring in my cheeks.

I didn't know how fast I ran, but I was already in front of the teacher's desk, waiting for her to get prepared to go into class and present me as a new transfer student.

"Alright, Hitsugaya-san, let's go."

"Um… yes, Ochi-sensei."

As I walked through the halls behind the teacher, I tried to be the most discrete I could, but really… this silver hair of mine has probably become the new attention of the whole school. Uh… maybe I should've asked Urahara to get me a more _normal_ gigai. It's not really good to have a hundred pair of eyes on you when you're trying to complete some secret mission there.

"Ok, class, this is our new transfer student, her name is Hitsugaya Tsuyuki. Be nice to her!" I scanned around the class, hoping that the boy we saw yesterday would be there, but instead, heard comments made about my hair. I sighed.

"Hi, nice to meet you! Please do look after me!" I bowed slightly, ignoring the rest of the class.

"Hitsugaya-san, there's a place between Kurosaki-san and Kobushin-san." Great, he was there. I tried to smile and walked towards the seat assigned to me.

I sat down quietly and careful placed my bag by the desk after taking out some papers and a pencil to write down notes. Just about ten minutes after the class started, the guy beside me gave me a neatly folded piece of paper. I glanced at the paper and back at him a few times, before deciding to open it, wondering what he could have written. Did… did he recognized me? Maybe he knows I'm a Shinigami? Has my cover been blown already?

**Your hair looks beautiful**

…

…

…

What?

Okay, this was… unexpected.

I tried to hide my heating cheeks under the book Kurosaki passed me earlier. This was the first time someone has made such a comment about my hair…

I have a feeling… this information gathering ain't going to be an easy thing.

_To be continued…_


	16. Part 15

Sigh. This was truthfully the longest day I've spent in my whole life. First, the annoying bowtie… which reminds me…

I pulled away the red bow from my neck and stuffed it into my bag, feeling like I've been released from hell. And then after-

"Is anything bothering you, Tsuyuki-chan?" Orihime's voice rang in my head. I turned my head sideways to see her looking at me, along with Rukia who was just beside her. I blinked when my brain finally registered what she had asked me. I tried to smile normally, turning my head sideways again.

"No. Just spacing out." I took a quick glance at Kurosaki that was just walking by my other side.

"Tsuyuki, how about we go to Ichigo's place tonight?" under Rukia's masked smile, I could hear the seriousness in her voice, agreeing to her suggestion, I nodded. "Orihime, you have to come too!" the girl looked at us dumbfounded, her face turning a light shade of pink.

"N-no, it's fine, Kuchiki-san. Thanks for asking though." Well, looks like that girl can be a bit lost sometimes. Noticing all the students that were still around us, I remembered how her classmates talked to her. Maybe I should act like them? The first person that jumped into my mind was that red haired girl who always jumps on her. What was her name again? Mi… Mizuiro? No, that's someone else's… Chizu… Chizumi? No, that's not it… something close to that I suppose…

Er… okay, right. I took a deep breath. One… two… three!

"Neee, Orihime, you really have to come!" I _literally _jumped onto her arm closest to me and let my head rest on her upper arm, doing like what I remembered from the girl. I tried my best to show her my biggest smile, but she only looked at me, stunned.

"T-T-T-Tsuyuki-chan?"

Okay, maybe we attracted much more attention than we intended to. I let go of her arm and saw Rukia, eyes wide looking at me. Uh, okay, alright, maybe I picked the wrong example. Sigh. I ran my hand through my silver hair and confessed what I wanted to say.

"I really hate this." Maybe I should just do like I usually do and do nothing more before I become the center of attention of the whole Karakura High School. "Just come." I shot her a dead serious look and continued my way to Kurosaki's place, leaving them behind me, somehow feeling embarrassed at what I just did.

I slowed down my pace as I heard familiar footsteps come closer behind me.

"You don't have to try so hard, you know?" he told me casually. "Well, acting like Chizuru wouldn't help at all, she's the one I'd never act like." I smiled at his last comment.

So her name was Chizuru, huh? Pretty close to what I found.

"Well, maybe I should really act like myself." I looked up at Kurosaki, seeing that he was smirking. "What are you thinking?" I asked curiously.

"Nothing, just remembering myself of what you did just five minutes ago." Honestly, I felt my cheeks flush red. That could have been the most embarrassing thing I've done in my whole life.

"Just don't remind me about it." I turned away from his smirk, looking straight ahead of me. I somehow thought that he'd make a comment about what I just said, but he just stayed silent. I could only hear our footsteps walking together in synchronisation, along with the wind whistling into our ears.

"It had been a while…" as his voice broke the silence, I looked up at him. I felt like I couldn't recognize him as Kurosaki Ichigo for a moment. He didn't look like that guy who held a sad, depressed look anymore, or the one who I was just talking to a few moments ago. It felt as if he was looking at some faraway place no one could ever reach.

"Kurosaki…"

"We're here." I blinked, looking ahead of me, noticing a house along with a built-in clinic that read _Kurosaki Clinic_ at the front. Well, like his hair, his house would be easily recognizable out of a million.

I stayed behind him as I waited for him to unlock the door that led into his house.

"I'm hom-" before he could even finish his sentence, I saw someone flying at him with full speed – full _human _speed may I add – while he pulled me aside, almost making me stumble onto the wall beside me.

"ICHIIIII-"

"I could've evaded that with no problem." I pointed out quietly while a black haired man stood up in front of me, dusting off his black pants. Uh, maybe I forgot to mention that Ichigo hit him right before I said anything.

"You were much quicker than I thought you were, son." He still hadn't looked up from his pants.

"Dad, I brought a friend." At the statement, the old man who Kurosaki called 'dad' looked up, his eyes landing on me.

"OHHHH! Tsuyuki-chan! It had been a while!" my eyes widened as I saw him prepare for a too-familiar hug. I quickly bowed down in respect, trying to avoid his hug.

"Nice to meet you, Kurosaki-san." …Wait.

"_It had been a while!"_

I've met him before? Oh, right. He's Kurosaki's father, so I suppose I did meet him before.

"Oh, hum, I mean, good evening!" I bowed down once again as he stood in front of me, smiling, oblivious to what I had just said earlier. Honestly, wouldn't it be weird to hear that someone had just lost their memory with no reason at all?

"It's not every day that Ichigo brings in a girl, are you his-"

"Dad! I have two other friends that are coming." Well, even if Kurosaki cut him off, I could've guess what his father was going to say after, not that it wasn't obvious enough.

"Ichigo! Tsuyuki!" I looked aside to see Rukia and Orihime running towards us, waving at our direction. "Sorry, it took longer than expected!" when they arrived in front of us, they were both slightly panting, probably from all the running they did to gather up the others. "Good evening, Ishiin-san." They both said in unison as they caught their breath. Well, let's say that the gigai that we have doesn't exactly have the same physical capacities as we really do. We can barely run a kilometer with it without panting.

"Ohhh, my boy is growing up! He's bringing in three girls home this time! Misaki, do you see this?" Really, I was amused by Kurosaki's dad's personality. It is the first time I've seen someone act like he does.

"Dad, shut up. Let's go." Eh, maybe I should've seen that coming.

We quickly excused ourselves and ran up the stairs, meeting up with the others that had probably broken into his bedroom already… and I was right. We were barely inside his room and it was already crowded with people, I mean, most of them were shinigamis. Ikkaku and Yumichika were standing by the door, Hisagi was lying against the closet's door, Renji was sitting on the bed – making himself at home, Toshiro was sitting on the windowsill, Ishida stood by him, Matsumoto and Sado sat on the floor. Yup, maybe we should've chosen another place after all.

Kurosaki let us in and quickly closed the door behind us, looking at all the people that were invading his room.

"Can we meet up somewhere else next time?" he said, scanning his room that was going to fall apart.

"I thought so as well." I added, trying to find a comfortable spot to stay at. Well, let's say I've decided to sit by the closet, just beside Hisagi.

"Nee-san! I missed you so much!" What? I looked around, seeing a flash of yellow fly towards me. By reflex, I quickly grabbed it in my hand, a soft texture entering in contact with my palm as I looked at the lion plush in front of me. "Nee-san!" I blinked.

"Did… it just talk?" I thought aloud, pulling it from all sides, supposing that it's those type of plush that have a built-in voice control.

"Nee-san! You don't remember me?" Okay, alright, things are getting more and more… weird. There's exactly no way I'd ever forget about a talking plush.

"Tsuyuki-chan, you don't remember him? It's Kon, he's the modified soul." _Modified soul_? Is it those that were supposed to be destroyed a long time ago? What's it doing there? On top of that… I never expected that we could use soul candy into unanimated objects. That's a discovery.

I turned my head sideways slowly, indicating that I don't remember anything about it.

"Noooooo! Nee-san! You can't forget about Kon!" Really, I thought I saw tears pouring out of the plush as it jumped into Orihime's arms. Well, not that I really cared much about it anyways.

"It looks like taicho has forgotten everything that was in relation with Kurosaki Ichigo." I looked towards Hisagi, who looked like he was deep in thought. Could forgetting about Kurosaki have such a big effect on my surroundings?

"This aside, how did everything go at Karakura High?" I barely glanced up at Toshiro's serious voice, looking at him, half of his haori being blown by the wind.

"We have successfully taken contact with Kobushin Kain." I replied, trying to put aside the embarrassing memory of this morning.

"Tsuyuki-chan most likely got Kobushin-san's attention from the start!" I blinked, looking at Orihime happily point out just what I didn't want her to. I felt my cheeks heating up, which wasn't a good sign at all. First, everyone had their attentions on her, shock and curiosity mixing up in their features, second…

"What do you mean, Inoue-san?" Hisagi asked.

"It's nothing much, he just took the initiative to talk to me right when we've just met." I said, hoping to straighten out the stuff and keep out the useless details.

"Did you find out anything about him?" Well, looks like my words passed. I looked seriously at Toshiro and the others once again and turned my head sideways.

"No, I'm afraid it's going to take a while longer than I thought. He might seem very welcoming at first sight, but something's telling me that it's not that simple." I explained. "How about you guys?" I asked.

"There was no sight of Hollow or Arrancars at all." I looked at Ikkaku who had just talked.

"This wouldn't make sense, if there was no Arrancars at all, I wouldn't be surprised… but not even a Hollow?" Everyone agreed silently with Matsumoto's logic.

It's true, it doesn't make any sense to me. Even without Aizen manipulating everything behind this, Hollows would eventually appear once in a while during a day, but no hollow_ at all_, this doesn't make any sense to me… unless he's planning for something big.

"How about you, Toshiro? Did you contact Seireitei about Kobushin Kain? Do they have any information about him in store?" I asked. There was nothing much I could do about the Hollows for now, we just have to prepare ourselves as much as we could.

"I did. Ukitake said that most likely they don't have any information about him, but he'll look into it for us. I still haven't gotten any replies from him yet."

"But Tsuyuki-taicho, why do we have to investigate about that boy? He might just have a high spiritual power, just like Ichigo." I looked at Ikkaku for a second, returning to my bubble a second later, thinking about what I felt this morning around this boy.

"First, yesterday, when we met him, I didn't feel anything special about him, the only thing that led me to think that he was suspicious was because we couldn't feel his reiatsu _at all_, there's no way someone can hide their reiatsu except for shinigamis or modified hollows. And today, when I approached him, I had an uneasy feeling around him, as if I was enveloped by something just being close to him." I explained in details, thinking about everything that has gone through this morning. "Did you feel it, Kurosaki? Except for me, you were the closest to him." I looked at the carrot head boy. But he only blinked in return.

"Kurosaki is very blunt with feeling reiatsu or those kinds of thing, so he probably couldn't have felt it." Ishida was the one who replied for him.

"Then did you?" I continued.

"No. I think you must be at a certain range from him to feel that way. Maybe that piece of information will lead us somewhere." An uneasy feeling? This is the first time that I felt like this. I don't ever remember feeling that way with anyone, there must be something about him that makes me feel like this.

"Okay, this isn't going anywhere… I'll go get some fresh air." I stood up, walking towards the door.

"Nii-chan!" I barely felt my ear flinch as I heard running steps towards the room I was in. My eyes quickly widened, along with the many pairs of eyes that were in the room.

Gladly, Toshiro and the others were quick enough to leave, and even if they didn't, the girl I heard couldn't have seen them since I felt she had a low reiatsu, so she could probably not see shinigamis. Ishida and Sado stayed on their spot. Kurosaki sat on his bed right on time as a young blond girl almost slammed the door open.

"Nii-chan! You have to come help us! There was an emergency just right at the park close to here! There are many… many people who are injured!" she quickly explained, a worried look on her face. I looked at her older brother, who nodded and stood up quickly.

"I'll be back in a few." He said.

"No, we'll go help too." I said, looking at Kurosaki and the others. "We did some first aid before, better be more people, right?" I looked at Rukia and Orihime seriously. For a mere second, I could have sworn that I felt a Hollow's presence, but it quickly disappeared. They both quickly nodded.

"Okay, let's go then." Kurosaki said.

"Thanks!" the young girl yelled and left running out of the house as we followed close behind her, with Ishida and Sado tailing behind us closely.

"Have you heard that?" I said in a low tone as Toshiro appeared by my side, nodding.

"Yeah, I've sent Matsumoto and the others to look at the matter first." Well, I suppose that was expected from him. He does things with no delays at all.

"It's here!" I heard someone yell.

I immediately stopped to a halt, looking in front of me, my heart almost skipping a few beats. There were indeed… many, many people. They were all sprawled out on the ground, some still moving, calling out for help, but at least half of them lay inert on the grass.

I could barely see from the corner of my eyes that Kurosaki and his sister ran towards the crowd of people. His father was already there, along with another young girl with black hair.

"Taicho!" I heard Matsumoto and Hisagi call us, but I didn't even budge. I've seen many deaths in front of me, but here… there were too many people, even more than I had ever experienced. "Most of them… it looks like… their souls are no longer with them…" I clenched my fists. I knew what that really meant. If they were really _only_ dead, we would've seen souls around, but I see nothing. Their souls were eaten by a Hollow.

"We couldn't get a glimpse of the Hollow… It seems that it had gone off way before we discovered this…"

And I fear that this Hollow will be a lot stronger than the other ones we've encountered.

"Is it possible that this was done by more than one Hollow?" I looked at Toshiro. He was right, I haven't even considered this option, but if that's really this case, there's no way that I, no, we couldn't have felt the other ones. "But this possibility is very low." I looked around, trying to get a hold of the Hollow's presence.

"Toshiro, let's look around." I barely looked at him as he nodded. I dug my hand in the school's skirt pocket and found the thing I looked for : the _soul candy_. I immediately popped it into my mouth, the gigai immediately detaching from my soul. I looked at the _konpaku_, seeing it immediately grab onto Toshiro's arm, a kitten expression plastered on her face. Toshiro had a terrified expression on his face. I inwardly laughed at the image.

"You go help Ichigo and his family, we'll be back in a while." I ordered her.

"Yessss! My pleasure, Tsuyuki-samaaaaaa!~" Okay, I'm glad I wasn't like her. Wait, she was in MY body…

"Ahem… Can you please act more like _me_?" I emphasized the tone as I said _me_, it only nodded and immediately ran towards the injured people. I turned around, facing the others. "Okay, now we'll separate in groups of two and go search for the Hollow. It shouldn't have gotten too far from here." I looked around to see who was there. "Rukia, Renji, you'll be group one, Ikkaku and Yumichika, you'll be group two, Toshiro and Matsumoto, group three and Hisagi and me will be group four." They all nodded as Rukia got out of her gigai before we prepared to leave.

"We'll go too!" a familiar voice rang in my head. I turned around to see Orihime, with Sado and Ishida following close behind her.

"No, we need people to stay behind to help Kurosaki Ichigo and his father. And in the worst case, you'll have to fight if the Hollow appears here again." Toshiro explained, while I only nodded. I looked at their disappointed reactions, especially Orihime. I tried to smile at her…

"The people here will need you more, Orihime, I know that you've got great healing skills, so please do the best you can." I tried to convince her to stay here, it was probably the safest place to be for them and for all the injured. "Let's go!" I turned around and shunpo'ed towards the direction of the sun.

I scanned all the areas for something abnormal, but all I could see was daily normal routines, nothing out of ordinary.

"Taicho, is it really okay to leave them behind like this? If the Hollow really appears…" I turned my head slightly to look at Hisagi.

"You really don't have confidence in them huh?" I said the first thing that has crossed my mind.

"No, it's not what I mean, but-"

"This Kurosaki boy is emanating a very high spiritual power," I thought. "I've never really seen him fight, but you said he beat the captains of Gotei 13, right? So I'm sure that he can hold back that Hollow if it appears, and there's also Ishida and Sado in the worst case... We shouldn't be underestimating those guys." Orihime is better off healing people, not that her attacks are weak or anything, but I think that'll be better for her and her powers – Shun Shun Rikka.

I stepped onto a house roof and jumped again towards another.

"It's true… these people… they are a lot stronger than we think."

I barely dazed off into space as the structures around me turned into blurs of colors, yet I still kept my eyes well on the area I had to. The Hollow… for it to have gotten so many people, it couldn't be a weakling. Why didn't the people run away though? How could the Hollow have gotten so many people at once? And for us not being able to find it even now… does it have the ability to conceal its power? If that's the case, then things will get much more complicated.

"ARGHHHH!" What?

"Taicho! Down there!" I looked past a few streets, seeing a familiar figure lying on the ground. I immediately shunpo'ed to the said place. I stopped to a halt when I reached the figure, gasping at the sight of the human. "It's him?"

I looked down at the boy. It was the boy that I've met at school, Kobushin Kain. Why was he here? Did he get attacked by the Hollow?

I kneeled down by his side, inspecting his body.

"His soul is still intact." I said, seeing that he was still alive and breathing. "But what happened to him?"

"Taicho, look at his arm!" I shifted my gaze to his right arm that was furthest from me, seeing a red mark. "It's the touch of a Hollow that makes these kinds of marks." I looked as Hisagi took his arm and inspected it to see if anything was broken or injured. "Everything's fine." I nodded.

"The Hollow should be close." I picked up the boy and placed him by a wall, he was probably going to be fine seeing that he wasn't injured or anything. "Let's go."

"But taicho, I don't think we should be leaving him here all alone." I looked at the unconscious guy. It was true, even though he wasn't injured or anything, there's no guarantee the Hollow won't come back for him. I bit my lips. What should I do? The Hollow should be close around here now… If we don't find it fast, I'm afraid that more people are going to get injured.

"It's okay, taicho. I can stay behind to protect this guy, you just go after the Hollow." I looked at Hisagi. I really didn't want to leave him there alone, since we didn't know anything about the Hollow yet, it would be the worst if we had to separate in groups of one. "Don't worry, nothing's going to happen." I sighed. I turned around and try to feel in which direction the Hollow left to.

"Be careful." I said before dashing towards the faint scent of Hollow.

I tried concentrating on feeling the Hollow's spiritual pulse, not wanting to lose track of its whereabouts, and not wanting to miss a chance getting it… but really, it was easier said than done. I could barely feel anything about a Hollow around.

I've discovered some place that had unusually high reiatsu presence, but I couldn't detect any traces of Hollow anywhere, it was as if it hadn't even existed. Is there something that is dulling our shinigami senses? Can that Hollow hide it's presence? No. I'm sure if I just concentrate a bit more, I'll find it.

Okay, first, I need to calm down. Close my eyes. Breathe deeply. Relax my body. Sharpen my senses…

Found it!

I ran towards the direction I felt the tiny presence of Hollow, finding that the area was dangerously familiar. It was almost all the same buildings and decorations as… the way I came from!

I hope nothing happened to Hisagi and Kain! Wait… no, could it be that Kain was the Hollow? From the start to the beginning, we wanted to investigate on him, seeing that he could see shinigamis, yet we couldn't feel any of his reiatsu, which didn't make sense…

"I really shouldn't have let Hisagi alone with him…" I tried to quicker my pace to get to my destination quicker and faster.

I turned a corner, stopping to a halt seeing that Hisagi was safe standing in front of the unconscious boy. I couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. I should've noticed from the beginning that his reiatsu didn't waver a bit, so nothing could've happened to him… but the Hollow…?

I frowned. I turned to look at Kain's unconscious body. Even unconscious, I couldn't feel any reiatsu emanate from him, this isn't normal at all. No way…

I took a few steps ahead, until I felt a devil presence behind me. I didn't bother to think before unsheathing my Zanpakuto and swiping around to cut the Hollow that was creeping behind me, all in one motion. With the Hollow's loud cry, Hisagi must've noticed me.

"Taicho!" I nodded at him.

Yes, there was indeed a Hollow here, it presence was faint until it got so close to me, the reason why I could feel it. But I'm definitely sure that the Hollow we're looking for is way stronger than this small fry. And also… the one a I felt a few moments earlier definitely has a different aura.

"It wasn't the one we were looking for." I sheathed back Hyokorimaru. "Was there any abnormalities?" I asked, peering at the teenage boy again. When I looked back, Hisagi was turning his head sideways. I gripped on my Zanpakuto's sheath tightly. I looked around here, everything looked intact, not even a smallest scratch.

"No, it doesn't seem like it will come back for him." I looked at Hisagi glance at the boy behind him. "But I really don't like that feeling he's giving off." I frowned.

What Hisagi said was true, this boy was mysterious in terms of a _human_. And it could also be that he is _dangerously_ mysterious. This is a mess… Unlike the previous Hollows that could hide their reiatsu, this one is very intelligent, he thinks much more before acting, unlike the others who are much more reckless. Which means that this Hollow could easily be an-

"Taicho!"

I suddenly felt a burst of reiatsu the moment my brain took in the outside messages. I quickly unsheathed my Zanpakuto like I did earlier, turning around and blocking an oncoming attack. Then I heard a clashing sound that could easily pierce through my ears.

I looked up, looking from the long claws to the muscled giant arms until the body of the Hollow.

"Look at what I've found." Its disgusting voice was even more piercing than the clashing sound it's claw made with my Zanpakuto. "Aren't I lucky!" I just glared at the Hollow.

"Taicho! Are you alright?" I rolled my eyes. The answer was obvious.

"I'd be better if you called onto me earlier." I stated.

"I did, you weren't listening." Okay, that may be my fault.

"Sorry." I pushed back the Hollow as it skidded back a few yards from me and Hisagi. I could finally see how it really looked. He emanated the same reiatsu as the one I was looking for. It was definitely this one… but something didn't match with my reasoning.

"An Adjuchas…" I looked towards Hisagi, whose the voice belonged to. "I expected to see an Adjuchas, but this… this thing is even lower powered than a Gillian!" he's gotten what I wanted to say. The power it emanated was definitely the one we were looking for, but the amount of it and its size told me that this wasn't. "What's the meaning of that…?"

I looked at it as it ran towards the both of us, angered.

"I'll get you!" it said.

"Let me do it, Taicho." I looked at Hisagi, seeing his serious face. I nodded at him, re-sheathing Hyokorimaru for the hundredth time today. I barely bade a step as Hisagi ran past me, his Zanpakuto in his hand, heading towards the opposite direction from where I was facing.

I turned my head sideways, enough to see Hisagi finish off the Hollow. I expected him to do it quickly, and he did. He slashed down his Zanpakuto on the Hollow, no trace of hesitation behind his movements.

But my eyes widened.

The Hollow was uninjured. Not even a scratch on it, just like before Hisagi attacked it. Did he miss? No way, I saw that the Hollow took the hit head-on…

I noticed that Hisagi was as shocked as me the moment he stepped back, I could already imagine his shocked expression matching with mine.

"What… the…"

Reality flashed at me the moment I saw the clawed being lift its arm up to the sky, ready to swing it down at us. I immediately flash stepped towards Hisagi and pulled him away from it.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, looking at his arms and body, to see if he was injured anywhere.

"Y-yeah… I just don't get it…" True. A Hollow that we can't cut through? No way!

I unsheathed Hyokorimaru and ran towards the skulled monster at full speed, bringing down the Zanpakuto at his chest. I looked at it block the attack with its right arm. I jumped back a few yards, noticing a _light_ scratch on its arm. _No way…_

"I went full power and _only_ this?" I stared at the scratch I made. Any hollows would die after taking an attack as powerful as this one, but I barely made a scratch to it! I looked at Hyokorimaru's blade, hoping to see that there was no dent left on it, and gladly it didn't have any, and it was as sharp as ever. It's not Hyokorimaru… so, does that mean it's this Hollow's skin…?

I shivered at the thought. It made me think of Zaraki Kenpachi, when people used to say he was unbeatable because we couldn't cut through him.

"You will never beat me with such skills, shinigamis!" No, we will eventually find a way. "You will never be able to cut through me! What you got there was just mere chance!" it's evil laughter spread across the whole street. What shocked me more was that the wound was closing by itself right in front of me.

"Kare, Kazeshini!" I looked as Hisagi threw his released Zanpakuto at the Hollow's neck as it jumped towards us, only to have it blocked by the clawed arms.

"N-No way…" Not even a scratch? And he even released his Zanpakuto… How can a mere Hollow do that? He doesn't even have the reiatsu of an Adjuchas, much less look like one, so how?

I merely blocked it's attack with my Zanpakuto, an attack that was one of the lowest strength one, although it was a very heavy attack that I could also feel the ground below me crumble. I tried to bend down a bit and swipe a kick at him, but it evaded me effortlessly while I push myself away from under his claws.

"None of this is making any sense, Taicho." Yes, this guy fights very skillfully, he has an iron body, but his strength is horrible… We can easily block it without putting any efforts into if it wasn't for its weight. Yet it can block and see through our attacks so easily, like a skilled fighter…

I flash stepped behind the Hollow, trying to cut him from behind, but the moment I felt something come towards me, I jumped away, seeing that it was the Hollow's tail.

And he even feels us coming at him, not even having to look. _Okay, really, what's the meaning of that?_ This is the first time I've ever seen such a Hollow.

I matched Hisagi as he tried to slice down the Hollow once again, while I tried to slice off its annoying tail…

"RAAAAWWWWWRR!"

My eyes widened. I stared at the tail that I had cut off disappear into thin air. It was _that _easy? I looked back at Hisagi, who was on the other side, he seemed to have done no damage to it once again.

The Hollow only turned around, facing me, it's mask boiling red with anger.

"How dare you do this to me!"

I quickly jumped back each and every time his claws tried to strike me, the Hollow obviously losing its patience and calm, probably because it had its tail cut off.

"I'm going to kill you guys!" This Hollow didn't talk as much as the other ones that we've encountered before, but it still managed to piss me off. I honestly and truthfully wanted to cut it into tiny pieces and serve its meat as sushi for the street cats, but really, I don't think it'll taste any good. And also, I still couldn't find out how I cut his tail off.

I looked at the gigantic hands that were trying to grab Hisagi and me before kicking away the closest one to me, and Hisagi the other, knowing that cutting it would probably be a waste of energy, sending the monster a few yards away in the street…

I've thought that maybe it was because his tail was more frail than the other parts of his body, but it wouldn't have made any sense since all its skin was supposed to be equally strong or fragile, except for parts that have like a shell or anything, and if I don't remember wrong, I'm sure I've seen _many_ layers of skull spikes on its tail before cutting it off, so it should have been the strongest part of his body. Yet, it was _that _easy to cut off.

No… Wait… At that moment, Hisagi and I attacked the Hollow at the same time… so could it be that it is using and controlling its own reiatsu to block off the attacks?

I looked at Hisagi sending kicks and punches on the Hollow, but nothing fazed him.

That should be it… the moment when Hisagi and I kicked him at the same time, he was facing us and probably didn't have enough time to think about which attack to block first. And before that, when we cut him at the same time, he did not see my oncoming attack on time, so he only blocked Hisagi's Zanpakuto, therefore he couldn't block mine… Alright, time to try out this theory…

"Hisagi! Attack it with your Zanpakuto!" I raised my blade against the Hollow and ran towards it.

So if my theory is right, either Hisagi or I will be able to cut through him.

"Alright!" I looked at Hisagi, seeing him lift his Zanpakuto at the arm of the monster, while I was in mid-air, in front of its skull head. I could almost bet everything that he had his attention on Hisagi, so I brought down my Zanpakuto quickly, trying to cut it.

In that flash of a moment, I could've seen its red eyes glow in shock, and what I've heard after the cut confirmed my theory, yet my Zanpakuto was clean from blood, having missed the shot at its head.

"GYAHHHRWWWWWWW!"

My eyes instantly flashed to my fukutaicho's direction, seeing that he cut off the Hollow arm.

"You…! You brat!" I smirked.

"So you directed your reiatsu concentration around your skull, sacrificing you right arm, huh?" I said. I didn't even think that counted as a question. It was more of a statement that I made.

"You'll pay for what you've done to me!"

I tried to cut the monster, right after I noticed that he was starting to fade into thin air, and not _disappear_… but I lost track of him quickly.

"Damn it…" Just right when I found the answer to his secret… it had to disappear… "It ran away…" My ears barely picked up the shaking sound of my Zanpakuto's blade, resulting from my own trembling hand.

"Tsuyuki-chan! Hisagi-san!" I looked at the oncoming people, barely noticing their presence until our names were called. I saw blobs of orange and black coming towards us and immediately guessed that it was Kurosaki's group. Also, no one in Seireitei would call us using those two honorific… really. What's the chance of people calling captains and lieutenant by their names, unless they wanted to be scolded… or die by the hands of some crazy high ranked officers…

"Inoue-san, Kurosaki, Uryuu Ishida and Sado Yasutora? What are you guys doing here? I thought that we ordered you guys to stay with all the injured people." Hisagi came up to me, standing in front of them.

"They were all brought to the hospital, so we thought we could join you guys to help out." Ishida pushed up his glasses like he used to do every time he explained something.

"Are you guys alright? I heard you guys fighting just a few moments ago." I looked at Kurosaki's concerned expression. I thought that he was only looking at me, but I might've been mistaken since Hisagi stood so close to me.

"No." I turned my head sideways. "We're fine, but the Hollow ran away." I explained, looking at the direction it faded away. "And we also have to bring him home…" I turned to look at Kobushin Kain, who still laid on the ground, unconscious. I walked a few steps towards him, calling out for Hisagi. "Hisagi, come help me get him to the hospital."

"I'll do it." I blinked. I looked at my side, seeing that Kurosaki was just beside me. When did he get here? I looked back at where he was just a moment ago, seeing only his three friends.

I didn't say anything, but bent down and put Kain's arm around my shoulder, the orange haired kid doing the same thing on the other side. I looked at Kurosaki's face, that frown of his made him look serious – too serious for a guy his age, but really… he somehow looked attractive with this orange hair of his.

…

Wait! What am I thinking? God, just get back to work, Tsuyuki, just get back to work. There's no time to be pondering about who's attractive or not!

**The next day**

Another boring day of school. Another boring day in the Human World.

Sometimes, I really rather sit in my office and do some paperwork instead of sitting there, listening to the teacher talking about all those random stuff that I don't even need to know about or already know about. And honestly, I never happened to fall asleep _that_ much in class. You should know how boring it is, especially when your mission's target is not there.

Since yesterday, after we've brought him to the hospital, we haven't seen him again. Looks like he was going to stay a few more days in the hospital, but I couldn't really afford to mess up because of skipping school while he's out too. Gladly, he was stationed in Ishida's father's hospital, so at least we would know about his condition and when he's supposed to come back, even though he might be skipping school…

Now that I look at my notebook, all my scribbles have become drawings of random things. I didn't even notice when I started drawing. And on top of that, it was a drawing of a guy and a girl, together forming a couple. And that really wasn't in my mind, I don't even know how this happened.

Rukia couldn't be there today since she had things to take care about back at the mansion – that's how I call our house. Orihime, Ishida and Sado were just so into the lessons I wouldn't want to bother them. Well, Kurosaki, even though he sits the closest, I just don't have anything to share or to talk about with him.

*Drrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing*

I practically jumped up.

Not from fear.

Not from shock…

But from joy.

This was really ten hours of Hell in my life. Imagine how happy you can be after getting out of hell. I didn't let it show, but I immediately packed up my things, ready to leave.

"Tsuyuki, do you want to walk to Urahara's place together?" I turned on my side to look at-

Ichi…

Ichi… go…?

For a moment there, I swore that I felt my heart beat against my chest. It was just for a small moment that I looked at him, yet everything felt different. It felt like he was the only one in my eyes, the only one that was in the world.

He was looking at me, his brown eyes filled with curiosity, his orange hair falling on his forehead…

"Tsuyuki? Are you alright?" Oh!

"Y-Yeah, I'm al-alright." I somehow still felt my heart fluttering, even if that feeling I had a second ago was already gone.

"So, um… do you want to?" he wasn't really looking at me anymore, but on the floor, his arm stretched out to his neck. I wasn't really sure about what he asked just a few moments ago anymore, but I just knew I couldn't deny him, only this time.

"Sure…"

_To be continued_…


	17. Part 16

I sat down – more like dropped - on the couch and released a deep and long, long, long breath. Today was a very long day… actually, it was a bit more than I thought. I was very tired, but that wasn't because of training or anything of that sort. I rethought about this afternoon, when Kurosaki asked me to walk with him to Urahara Shoten.

We did go there, but we found no one except for Rukia and Renji. In fact, they told us that the meeting was called off and that we could _visit_ the Human World while we could. And that's how I also ended up being dragged to the so-called _amusement park_ which Rukia was talking about. Well, I guess we did have fun somehow, and really… I got _scared_ on a mere… wait… what did they call it? Roller… booster…? Eh… no… roller coaster? Really, I never thought I'd be _that_ scared – really, I was scared for my life - over such little things that are inanimate. Wait, no, not inanimate, but over a machine!

Yeah, that was indeed a very long day. Throughout the whole time there, Rukia and Renji kept asking me if I remembered about anything, which I didn't. And that… it really killed me somehow… Not that I was desperate to remember about everything… but I felt very bad for Kurosaki, even if he didn't ask, I know that he wants me to remember as much as the others do, or even more. During the whole day, he stayed silent, not saying a word to me or Rukia. The only few times our eyes crossed… it reminded me of that weird feeling I had right when we finished class…

_This was really ten hours of Hell in my life. Imagine how happy you can be after getting out of hell. I didn't let it show, but I immediately packed up my things, ready to leave._

"_Tsuyuki, do you want to walk to Urahara's place together?" I turned on my side to look at-_

_Ichi… _

_Ichi… go…?_

_For a moment there, I swore that I felt my heart beat against my chest. It was just for a small moment that I looked at him, yet everything felt different. It felt like he was the only one in my eyes, the only one that was in the world._

It was the first time I felt that way, not even with Kai did I feel the same thing. If only that moment lasted longer, I'm sure I could find out what it meant. Even now, when I think of it, it is like a picture that I captured in my mind, clear as water, but the feelings… they've become very blurry in my mind, it didn't feel exactly like how it felt when it first happened. Every time I thought about it, the feeling would get duller and duller, and eventually, I feel that it would distort into something else.

"Taicho!" I felt some weight push down on the cushion just beside me. I turned around to see Hisagi sit down beside me.

"Hisagi." It just came out naturally, like it always did when I called him. Yes, it was different with Kurosaki, every time I tried to say his name out loud, my tongue would get tied around itself and I wouldn't be able to pronounce it correctly.

"We received information from Soul Society, and it doesn't seem like they could read the Hollow's movements. Either it didn't do anything yet, either we can't detect it." I just nodded, the feeling of laziness getting at my brain. I didn't really want to talk about that for now, I just wanted to rest and relax here. Yes, that's what I want to do at most for now.

I laid my head down on the arm of the couch, my legs shifting lazily into a more comfortable position by the couch before closing my eyes shut.

"How was the date?" Not even a minute after I closed them, I was forced to open one of my eyes again to stare at my vice-captain.

"It wasn't a date." I pointed out. It was true. We were four and there's no way I could be going out with Renji, even that representative shinigami. A death god and a human, it's like oil and water – it can't be mixed together and never can…

"Alright, then the double date." I glared at him. I thought I made the point clear.

"It's not a date, so it can't be a double date or a triple date or anything like that." I explained. "Moreover, how was _your_ date?" I smirked at my subordinate, who instantly turned as red as a tomato.

"W-what date?" he said. I smiled. I pushed myself up, just to be eye-level with him and closed a big distance between us.

"With Ma-tsu-mo-to." I slowly pronounced every syllable.

And really, the face he had made me burst out laughing and I really, really couldn't care less that I was on the floor laughing like a maniac – just for _now_.

After I don't know how long of laughing, I finally heard someone clearing his throat. So I sat up straight on the floor and looked at Hisagi looking at me – more like glaring – while I tried to hold back the rest of my laughter.

"So?" I said with a big smile on my face. I knew they went on a kind of _date_, since Renji had "accidently" told me everything with his big mouth. "How was it?" I insisted, standing up.

"I-it was nothing, really." Well, he was looking to his left, to his right, to the floor, but he hadn't looked at me. So he really won't tell me, huh?

" . .hei." I crossed my arms over my chest, my expression becoming serious all over again. It was too obvious that he liked Matsumoto, why doesn't he just admit it?

He looked up at me, his expression matching with mine. I sighed. I was tired, so I wasn't going to fight over it longer. I let my arms fall down to my sides and turned around and headed to my room.

"Tell me later then." I barely waved my hand at him and walked towards my room.

Really, Hisagi could be like a father sometimes, but when it comes to Matsumoto, he just acts like a kid. It's like the total opposite of what he usually is.

I walked past Toshiro's room, whose door was left wide open, seeing that he was still awake, and even though I felt terribly tired, I felt like I wanted to talk to him, maybe to lift up some weight that has been on my shoulders for a long time. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring out at the window, an expression I've yet got to know. But I knew that he was deep in thought, and that was probably about Hinamori. I was about to knock on the door, but then thought that I shouldn't be bothering him.

_I can talk to him some other time_, I told myself.

Yet I stayed by the doorway, my feet never leaving the ground. Looking at him reminded me of my own self, when I have lots of thoughts in my mind. I would close myself up for a while and sit there and think, letting the breeze caress my skin. Slowly, I laid my back against the wooden wall beside Toshiro's room's door. I crossed my arms, lay my head against the hard fabric of the wall and closed my eyes. Even though we weren't talking, even though he didn't notice my presence, I felt comfortable around him, maybe because the aura he emanated was the same as mine.

How long has it been since we had last been like this? Thirty years? Fifty years? Seventy-five years? I don't know. It just feels like it had been too long.

I knew he was thinking about Hinamori, who was still recuperating in the 4th Division of Seireitei, I didn't stop him from it. Now, even though I seem calm and my mind relaxed, I still can feel the surge of Kurosaki's face haunting my mind. It wasn't Kai anymore, but it was him who continuously invades my mind at all times now.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

I opened my eyes, seeing small droplets of rain starting to fall on the pound that was just in front of Toshiro's room. Seeing the rain just suddenly made me think of Kurosaki's face that had caught me so off guard earlier today, and it made my heart go sour. What was that feeling? It wasn't something that was in my dictionary.

**A week later**

"Damn it… when is that guy going to come back?!" I slammed my palm on the desk, the room suddenly becoming calm.

Noticing what I had just did, I looked up, seeing faces of my classmates drop to horror.

_Woops_.

I quickly removed my palm from the half dented desk and apologized, looking back towards Kurosaki and the others that stood around the desk.

"But really, Ishida said that he was dispatched from the hospital two days ago, why isn't he still coming to school?!" I crossed my arms, frowning.

Really, ever since that day with Kurosaki, my mind had been blank. I could barely think of any other things than _that_. And when I could, I couldn't think properly, or sanely.

As I heard the door slide open, my head snapped around, hoping to see Kobushin Kain in the doorway, but the truth let me down.

"Alright, kids, get to your seats." I sighed as I listened to the teacher and walked back to my seat that was beside Kurosaki's. I was barely sitting as she already started her class. "Today's lesson is going to be…"

I looked at the empty seat beside me, mentally cursing the boy that was supposed to be sitting there – I'm wasting my time around when he's not there. I raised my elbow to the desk and rested my chin on my palm, looking at the teacher scribble equations on the board. I scanned around the class, seeing everyone listening attentively to the teacher – yes, everyone, even Rukia… which is also one of the reasons why she could blend in so easily with the humans.

Then I looked at Kurosaki, he was looking up at the blackboard, and then back down on his notebook, where he wrote down his notes, and took a quick glance at his textbook before looking back up to where the teacher was writing. Every time, he bears a serious look on his face, there was almost no exception. When he fights, when he speaks, when he listens to the teacher, his look is always so serious, his eyebrows always so furrowed into one unique eyebrow. Even during the outing we had with Renji and Rukia, his orange brows were almost always merged together.

Speaking of Rukia and Renji… I always thought Rukia liked Kurosaki, but maybe I was wrong. After that day at the _amusement park_, I could see that Rukia was acting differently towards Renji, yet she also held some type of awkwardness in front of Ichigo. She was especially close with Renji, maybe also because they were childhood friends. But then this awkwardness… is also a proof that she still likes Kurosaki after all the things that happened between them… so perhaps… she still likes him…?

"Why are you staring at me?"

I blinked once, finally coming back to my senses. Kurosaki was looking at me, curiosity embed in his features. I quickly looked back down on my empty, blank sheet of paper.

"Sorry, I was thinking." I told him, picking up my pencil and starting to draw some random shapes on the sheet.

I glanced back a few times at Kurosaki, seeing that he was back to work. I sighed discreetly, feeling that this would be a long day. I put my arm down on the desk and rested my head on it, closing my eyes…

_I felt someone's breath behind me, he was very close, and he was also pulling back my wrist. I didn't do anything to free myself from the tight grip, I was just looking at the ground. The warmth around this person was comfortable, almost unreal._

"_Why are you trying to stay away from me?!" what…? _

_I think… I've heard that voice somewhere before. I wanted to turn around and look at the person behind me, to identify who it was, but my eyes were glued to the ground. "Answer me!" I wanted to ask who he was, but it feels like something was stuck in my throat, preventing my voice from coming out. It felt difficult to even speak. "Why don't you want to talk?!" What's happening to me? I feel like I can't control my body anymore, and that it's moving on its own free will. "There's no one around, why don't you just tell me what's wrong with you?" Nothing was exactly wrong, it's just… I felt my fists clenching on their own._

"_Ichigo. We're on a mission. We shouldn't be talking about those personal matters." I recognized my own voice, yet I wasn't sure if I was really the one speaking. Was it Ichigo, as in Kurosaki Ichigo, that I was talking to? Why did I call him by his given name?_

_Why all I could do was feeling and hearing everything around me? I couldn't do anything else, I couldn't even lift a finger or move my lips. It was like I had lost control over the body that I had for over half a century._

_I felt that my legs were taking steps ahead, until I felt a violent pull back, turning my body around, facing the person. But I was still looking down on the ground, and I didn't know why. I tried to force my head up to look at that _Ichigo_, to confirm if it was really the Kurosaki I knew, but my head didn't budge._

"_Look at me." His voice resonated in my ears. "Look at me." The voice repeated. Yes, it was indeed Ichigo's voice. I felt a hand under my chin, lifting my head up, finally seeing _Ichigo_. I could barely decode his saddened facial expression before my eyes gazed towards another direction. "I don't care if we're on a mission. I don't care if you're not looking at me. I just want to know why you're like this!"_

"Tsuyuki..." I felt someone patting my shoulder as I opened my eyes.

"Ichigo…?" I mumbled his name while looking behind him to see the classroom, barely seeing the shocked expression on his face.

"Did you have a nightmare?" I frowned, a weird feeling coming from my eyes.

"Why would you ask that?" I said, sitting up straight.

"… because you're obviously crying." What…?

I finally found out what that weird feeling was. Tears were falling down from my eyes unwillingly, and I didn't even know why. I lifted my hand up to dry my tears from my cheek, but it only kept coming nonstop.

Why am I crying on the first place? Wasn't that just a dream? Why would I cry over a dream… that is not even a nightmare…?

"Are you okay? What happened?" His concerned voice just made me helpless. My tears didn't want to stop no matter what, and the knot in my heart didn't want to go away either. I've never felt so… confused.

"I don't know… I don't even know why I'm crying…" I tried wiping my tears away, finally feeling that it was ceasing to fall. "But I'm okay." I continued. "Where are the others?"

"They already went to get their lunch, Rukia said she'd be eating with the girls today, so I thought I'd wait for you to go meet up Ishida and Chad." I looked at the bag of lunch that was in his hand.

I totally forgot to make mine!

_Ah… whatever. I'm not that hungry anyways_, I stood up after cleaning my face from the stains of tears.

"Go ahead… I'm going to join you after." I said, thinking about taking a walk outside before joining the guys.

I was about to walk towards the exit of the classroom until I noticed that Ichigo was still standing at the side of my desk. I looked up at him – really, he's like MUCH taller than me – seeing that he was looking back at me, an unreadable expression in his eyes.

"I'm not going to jump off the building, don't worry." I tried to lighten up the mood, brushing past his shoulder – more like his arm – walking towards the door. The classroom was already empty, we were the only ones around.

"You remembered something… right?"

I stopped right at the doorframe… but I didn't turn around. His voice was barely audible.

Really, could that dream have been one of my lost memories? Was that why I was crying?

"I…" No… If I say yes and that it wasn't… I'll just be giving him fake hope… "I don't think so… It's probably not…"

I took my last step out of the classroom and walked towards the yard of the school.

"You just called me Ichigo…"

This was the last thing I heard him say before leaving. It was true, it was the first word that came into my mind when I woke up…

Somehow, I felt heartbroken at what I said to him. Having hope is better than not having any at all… right? But if I gave him hope, and then after… if I find out that it wasn't true, then it could have been even worse than it was before.

"Maybe it was…" I whispered to myself, holding my wrist…

_I felt someone's breath behind me, he was very close, and he was also pulling back my wrist. I didn't do anything to free myself from the tight grip, I was just looking at the ground. The warmth around this person was comfortable, almost unreal._

_Unreal_, but now that I think of it… It felt too realistic to be a simple dream. It felt like I was reliving some experiences or moments of my life that I had passed with him… but even with that, it didn't trigger the rest of my memory. It feels like I've just found a tiny piece of pearl in a huge, gigantic ocean… but I still had to confirm if it was a real one.

"Tsuyuki-chan!" who's calling me now?

I looked around me, left to right, right to left, finally finding the owner of the voice.

"Orihime?" I looked at her and scanned the other girls that sat around her on the grass. Rukia was on her left, with Chizuru – was that her name? – on the other side, along with Tatsuki and another girl whose name I couldn't remember. She stood out much less than the others with her petite figure and her plain blond hair. Well, I'm not trying to say that I stand out much either… except for my natural silver hair maybe. I still don't know why I haven't asked that stupid Urahara to make me a gigai with more _normal_ colored hair. People would think I have a contagious disease or something of that type.

"Do you want to join us for lunch, Hitsugaya-san?" I blinked at the formal appellation. It wasn't a voice I heard much either, but I saw that Tatsuki was the one who suggested the idea. I looked at their lunch, remembering that I had forgotten to make my own – really, who would remember if they're used to not doing it at all?

"Um… well… I'm not having lunch… but I can still join in I suppose?" I tried to talk as polite as I could. As I saw their smiles of agreement, I walked closer to them and sat down between the space that Orihime and Rukia had made for me. "Are you having lunch here every day?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Yeah! You can come join us whenever you want! You're always welcome to join!" Tatsuki said.

"Um… thanks."

Being the girl that I am, I was never really used to hanging out around so many girls, and that's probably also the reason why my muscles were so stiff the moment I sat down. I didn't know what to say or I wasn't sure about what to tell them… I always used to hang around guys like Kai, or maybe a few of my old teammates in my old days, but I never really even got _that_ close to the girls I talked to.

I'm a captain in Soul Society, so I have to act like one. I could be childlike sometimes, but sometimes, these moments can lead to fatality… and I don't want anything like that to happen again. But I guess for now… relaxing, letting my guard down wouldn't do bad… right?

"Um… so… what were you girls talking about before I got here?" I tried to start a conversation, seeing that no one was talking yet and thinking that the atmosphere was filled with an awkward silence since I got there.

"Chizuru was talking about her nonsense again…" I turned to Tatsuki, who was the first one to talk.

"It's not nonsense! I can feel it!" she yelled, frustrated. Well, I guess a fight has already started. "Although it is sad to admit it, my hime obviously likes that orange haired Ichigo!"

*b-bump*

What…?

They were talking about Ichigo and Orihime…?

"It's even worst to admit that she looks good with him."

The way Orihime acts around him, the way she always looks at him… it's definitely more than just mere friends. Even when we talk about him in front of her, her cheeks start gaining shades of red. I can't see her acting that way around Ishida or Sado.

I thought that I had already guessed about how Orihime felt about Ichigo with all these small hints… but when it came out of someone else's mouth, I felt my heart suddenly go sour. I didn't know how to describe that feeling exactly, but I knew that it had wiped away the smile from my face, because now, I was forcing out that smile so badly. Even to myself, my smile felt fake.

"And then he acts so nice towards you, how can I not think that he's trying to snatch you away from me?!"

"Chizuru-chan…"

I guess I could describe that feeling as _dislike_, but there's totally no reason for me to dislike what Chizuru had said, right? She was just saying the truth, pointing out the obvious facts…

"Well, I can't deny that he's too nice towards Rukia too! I'm sure he likes one of you guys!"

"Chizuru-san…!"

A flash of Ichigo, walking happily between Orihime and Rukia under sakura flower petals came into my mind. He wasn't frowning anymore, but I felt that I was. He was smiling, happy under the sunlight, his hands almost touching the others'.

At the thought of it, I just want to go out more with Ichigo, try to make him even happier. I wanted to be the one the make him happy, that's how I felt.

"Don't you guys think too?!"

"Yeah, well, for once, I guess you're right."

I guess I wasn't that bad at acting after all, my fake smile passed all of them. Only that Orihime and Rukia kept calling for Tatsuki and Chizuru to stop.

"Both of you would definitely look good with Ichigo." I didn't even know what I had just said, but it came out right. I felt like I did something good by saying that, but then unlike I had thought, it didn't make me feel any better at all, it just made me feel worst… Asking myself why I had said such nonsense.

"Even Tsuyuki says that!"

"Um… how about we change topics?" I was looking at Orihime, who was starting to blush by that time. This time, there's no way I'd be wrong. I'm positive that she likes Ichigo.

"Um… yeah, how do you like Karakura High School, Tsuyuki?" Rukia took over the conversation. The sudden change of attention unbalanced me for a moment. All their attentions were suddenly turned towards me, waiting for my reply.

"Eh… I guess it's not bad. I like the environment…" _Though it's filled with weird people…_ Yeah, that's true, I can easily find a bunch of weird people throughout the whole school.

"It seems like that Kai-guy likes you a lot! Do you like him?!"

Okay, wait. We just suddenly changed conversations, and then we're already changing the topics so quickly? They're such a weird bunch. Or am I the weird one?

I didn't really feel like answering their question, not that it means that I really like him, on the other hand, I don't like him at all, but then I can almost bet you my life that they'll raise even more question about why I don't like him and all (it seems that this Chizuru girl is only interested in relationships conversation). So I rather not reply than complicating my life, but…

"So, do you?" she got so close to me that I felt terribly personal space invaded. I slightly pushed her back, as a matter of _courtesy_, and turned my head sideways. Really, normally, I would have shoved away that person, but Tsuyuki in high school girl mode is nicer, no?

"I don't, and there's no reason why I would." I gave her a face, pleading her not to ask me anymore questions. Yet I think it came out more as a glare, saying '_don't ask me anymore or I'll strangle you to death'_ since she backed away, her eyes widening.

I quickly hid my _glare_ and smiled, popping out the first thing that came into my mind.

"You feel anything for him?" I said quickly, without even thinking. And I immediately knew that this question was a waste of effort. There's no way she'd like boys, she's always groping Orihime.

"No way! Hime is my one and only!" she exclaimed. Yeah, I was right. "And between… that Kain guy is totally weird… And now, he's even weirder than he was just a few months ago."

I let the information slip into my mind slowly as I thought about what she said.

"Weirder?" Maybe I could get some information out of them.

"Yeah, I think so too!" the petite girl – no offence at all, I'm even shorter than her, but I forgot what her name was… so let's just call her like that for now - said.

"Even if he skipped class more than three times a week before, he was nice to everyone, even the teachers liked him despite his attendance. But just until two months ago, he totally changed, he became more aggressive and violent towards the others…" More _aggressive_ and _violent_…? "Tatsuki agrees right?" I looked towards Ichigo's childhood friend.

She was more mature and more serious than the others, I had to admit that if I didn't believe her, I would be the most stupid girl around.

And she nodded.

"He's-"

"Tsuyuki-san!" I blinked.

"Well, talk about the devil."

I turned around, seeing a faint outline of a running boy, who I recognized as the one we were talking about just a second ago.

I waited for him as he stopped to a halt and bent down, equalizing my sitting height.

"Come with me! I need to talk to you! It's important!"

**ICHIGO'S POV**

I looked around the school, searching for Tsuyuki. She said she'd join us in a bit, but we waited and waited, until Ishida told me to look for her. I honestly don't know what to say if I found her.

'Didn't you say you wanted to eat with us?' No, that wouldn't do.

'We were waiting for you.' No, that would sound weird…

'Did you get lost?' hm… that sounds more casual, but it won't work…

"Hey, so what I wanted to say was thank you."

"… why are you thanking me…?" the first voice didn't catch my attention, but the second did. I wouldn't mistake her voice, it was Tsuyuki's. I turned around, looking past a few trees to see both her and Kain standing by the school's wall alone.

They were standing close to each other, Tsuyuki looking up at him, her expression too far away for me to read. It was like the perfect scenery for a couple. But at the moment that I had seen this scenery, I only got one lone feeling, one lone thing that I wanted to do.

I wanted to walk towards her and pull her away, tell her what I wanted to say. The other side of me wanted to just walk away and not eavesdrop into their conversation. Another side of me wanted to eavesdrop, because I was curious of what else he was going to tell her.

As I was about to make my decision and walk away, I heard a familiar voice that was calling me.

"Hey! Ichigo! What's taking you so long?!"

I looked at Renji, quietly telling him to lower his voice, looking back at Tsuyuki and Kain. I felt relieved that they hadn't hear Renji's outburst. Yet, the inner me felt that he hadn't yelled loud enough, and that he should have yelled louder.

"I think we should get going…" I whispered to Renji, about to walk away. But he only pulled me back and hid behind a bush.

"Let's see what they have to say…" I looked at him, and he was already concentrating into their conversation.

"I want to thank you for saving me the other day."

"What are you talking about?"

"I saw you when I fainted, and the next thing I knew, I was at the hospital, so I'm sure you're the one who saved me."

I wasn't sure of what they were talking about, but I think it's about the last time when the Hollow appeared. Renji barely told me any details about what happened to Tsuyuki and Hisagi, so I'm not exactly certain about what happened… though I'm dying to know about it right now.

"Do you want to come over to my place? I'll make you a feast to thank you!"

I blinked. He was asking Tsuyuki to go to his house? Isn't this going a bit too fast?

I looked at Tsuyuki, Renji's presence already fading into the back of my mind. She was looking at him shocked, I could tell that she was thinking the same thing as me… _I hope_.

"Wait-"

"It's not only for me."

"No, Kain, listen…"

I was about to walk into their conversation, stopping him from trying to persuade her to go to his place, until I stopped myself.

_Why should I stop them? Who am I to her?_

As I was refraining myself from going further, I had the huge urge to crack my knuckles, but I didn't want to do any unnecessary actions to bother them. Well, I'm morally thinking that way.

"This is getting boring… Let's go, Ichigo!" before I could give any comments, I was being pulled away forcefully by Renji's arm. "There's nothing good to eavesdrop someone." He started saying… which reminded me that he was the one who pulled me into this eavesdropping matter.

"You were the one who-"

"Who cares now, let's go eat! I'm hungry!"

"Hey! Let go of me!" I pulled my wrist away from his grip, thinking that it was somewhat wrong – not somewhat, actually, _very_ wrong – that a guy was holding my wrist. "How can you get hungry anyways…? You're a soul, you just eat when needed, you don't get hungry at all." I said, rubbing my wrist and looking back at where I last saw her.

"Whatever, my mind is telling me that I need to eat. So let's go back up and eat!"

I quietly strolled behind him as we were heading towards the roof, where the rest of the guys were having their lunch.

We had a relaxing lunch, no one talked about the Hollow or about the mission, we just sat around and joked about everything until class started. I felt like I had to leave before so I could meet up with Tsuyuki and ask her about what I heard earlier, and I did. I thought of thousands of ways to ask her the same thing, to make it casual and not too curious, but I couldn't find any good one. So I guess I'll go with what comes up…

I walked down the stairs and turned a corner, heading towards our classroom.

"Ichigo?"

Well, guess I don't have much time to think about it anymore. I focused my attention ahead to see Tsuyuki looking at me, a worried expression relieving my own.

"I didn't expect to see anyone here this early… the class is only starting in 15 minutes."

"Um… well…" what to say? Start up a conversation casually? "I wanted to talk with you…" Yeah, I should be straightforward and honest. "Are you going to Kain's place?"

I just spat it out as quick as I could, trying to avoid looking at her expression. She'd probably call me a stalker, but I didn't really mind, I just didn't want to think of what reaction she'd give me. I waited a moment, but no sound come out, so I looked at her… She was facing up at me, but her eyes were looking elsewhere.

"Yeah…" I looked more at her, wondering why she hasn't thought of how I knew. "You heard us, right? I felt your reiatsu nearby when I was talking with him…"

Oh crap. That's how it was… I forgot to conceal my reiatsu when I was eave-

No, no, no! I wasn't eavesdropping, I was only listening to them! Renji was the one eavesdropping!

"Uh… yeah… I was looking for you when I saw you two… together…" I looked away, the scene I saw earlier was returning to my mind. I was somehow sad, jealous. I didn't know how to explain those mixed feelings.

"How about we go out tomorrow?"

What?

I looked up at Tsuyuki, seeing her cover her mouth, her eyes wide.

**Tsuyuki's POV**

"How about we go out tomorrow?"

Wait… what did I just say? I didn't… I didn't just… ask him out?! No! It's not possible! Tsuyuki, what did you do?!

"You… seriously mean it?" I blinked, looking up at Ichigo. I guess he was as shocked as me, I thought that his eyes would pop up soon. Well… saying no suddenly wouldn't be good… right?

"Y-yeah…"

Somehow, I felt my heart beat quickly against my chest, I didn't know what it meant, but I knew I felt nervous, because my cheeks felt very hot…

[…]

"Tsuyuki-chan, you're dating Ichigo-kun?!" my eyes immediately widened, while my legs reacted as fast as my eyes. I turned away from my wardrobe, towards Matsumoto, who almost told the entire neighborhood.

Oh wait, she didn't. It's just a misunderstanding. I wasn't dating Ichigo!

"I'm not dating him! It's just a friendly hang out!" I tried clearing the misunderstanding. "I said that I was going to _hang out_ with Ichigo, not date him!"

"Isn't that the same?!" I sighed. There's no point into explaining her all that.

"Nevermind…" I said, throwing a white t-shirt and a black jacket on the bed, right beside Matsumoto. I turned around again to look for a pair of shorts I bought a while ago.

"But don't you like him, Tsuyuki-chan?"

"I don't!" I didn't even bother to look back at her.

"Then why did you ask him out?"

"Because I felt bad for him that I was going to Kain's place!" …

…

…

…

What did I just say there? _Because I felt bad for him_… Why would I feel bad for him in the first place?

"You see! You wouldn't have done that if you didn't have any feelings for him, Tsuyuki-chan!"

I threw the pair of shorts on the bed, walking towards Matsumoto and hurrying her out of room.

"I told you it's not! I'm going to change now! Get out!" I pushed her out, the burning sensation in my cheeks not letting me go.

That's just her imagination! It can't be true! …

I slid down against the door, my heart running as fast as yesterday. _I don't like him_. He's just an acquaintance, a past _crush_, that's all. There can't be anything more between us. I don't even feel anything for him…

I barely had time to get a change of clothes before Matsumoto's voice rung through the doors, into my ears.

"Tsuyuki-chan, look who's there!"

I heard the door slam open as I turned my head around to see Matsumoto's happy, half-drunken face (yes, she was like that when she was in my room…) and behind her, Ichigo, whose face was bright red.

…

I looked down at myself, seeing that I was only dressed with my shorts and my shirt halfway up my arms.

…

"MATSUMOTOOOOO! GET OUT!"

I immediately pulled down my shirt over my abdomen and kicked the door close, my cheeks turning into different shades of red.

"Matsumoto, what happened?" Toshiro asked, on the other side of the door.

"*hic* Ichigo *hic* saw Tsuyuki *hic*-chan top *hic* -less."

My eyes widened at what she had just said. I immediately turned around and opened the door.

"It's not that! I was just…" I looked away from the three shinigamis. "half topless…" I whispered the last words. "And I was facing my back to the door!" I added. "_Thanks_, Matsumoto." I tried to say it so only her could hear me.

Seriously, that's really embarrassing!

"Well, it's not like you've got anything to look at." I glared at Toshiro, who just looked back at me playfully.

"Okay, this really pisses me off!" I stormed back into my room to pick up my jacket and rushed out, pulling Ichigo with me…

I kept dragging Ichigo until we couldn't see my house anymore, and I released his wrist… but my mind didn't calm down yet.

"Forget about what you saw… this is just embarrassing…" I spoke, not even looking at him. Without taking a break, I walked aimlessly ahead, waiting for him to catch up to me. "How did you get here so early?" I asked, remembering that we were supposed to meet up at the Karakura park, which was close to his place.

"Renji said it's better if I went to pick you up…" he said as he caught up to me.

"He's just meddling into your business…" Well, I didn't hate the idea of him coming over since I wouldn't have to go over to the Karakura park… "Um… so is there any specific place you want to go to?" I asked, not sure where we should be going.

"Not really, but we can go do some shopping if you're willing to." I nodded, wondering what would there be in the stores here, except for clothing…

We walked for a while, both of us not even saying a word. I'm sure that he felt the same way as I, that he didn't know what to talk about. I wasn't someone very talkative, so I didn't know what I could talk about with him. And also… after what happened back at my place… I still feel a bit awkward, even though it was only a bit… it makes me feel very uncomfortable…

"We're here… the most popular street of Karakura."

I looked around. There were indeed a lot of people around, and as far as I could see, there were only stores on this street. And the amount of stores greatly surpassed the amount of stores that there is in Soul Society! It was really like the ones that Rukia showed me in one of her books - colorful, with many decorations giving hints of what the stores were selling.

"Is there anything in specific that you wanted to look at…?" Eh…

"Well… I don't really know what kind of stores there are… maybe you can do your shopping first!" I said, looking up at him.

"I don't really have anything to buy…" his said as he lifted his hand up to the back of his head.

"Oh ok… well let's walk around, maybe we'll spot some interesting things…" I walked closer to the right side of the street, looking through the glasses to see different items sold at every store…

As I browsed the stores, I spotted a brown t-shirt, with orange colored designs printed on it, and I immediately thought of the boy that stood beside me.

"I think that this would look good on you…" I said, trying to lift up the awkward atmosphere.

"Huh?" I looked at him, seeing that he was staring at me dumbfounded.

"You should try it on…" I said. "Let's go in." Well, it feels that I wasn't really acting like myself, but I can't be so tense when I'm hanging out with a friend, right? And I don't want him to get bored around me…

As we opened the door, a small golden bell that was located at the top of the entrance rang, and we were greeted politely by the salesman, or the store owner.

"Can we please see the brown t-shirt that's on display at the front there? He would like to try it." I asked the salesman as he politely bowed and left into the store to find the mentioned shirt. We browsed around the store while waiting for him, Ichigo barely taking a look at the clothing there. "You don't like the products here?" I asked Ichigo. "Or are you bored…?"

Well, to be honest, I don't feel comfortable when people are bored around me. It makes me feel bad, and makes me feel that I'm a very boring person… which is kind of true.

"Oh, no… it's just that…" the moment I looked at him, he started blushing, and I immediately knew about what he was talking about. And I frowned.

"Just forget about it… It's embarrassing…" I couldn't look at him anymore.

The clerk came back with the t-shirt that we saw at the front, and directly placed it in the cabin, waiting for Ichigo to go and try his t-shirt. It wasn't long until Ichigo decided to quit on looking for other clothes before finally going to try the t-shirt I chose for him. When he changed into it, he looked pretty good in it. It was like the t-shirt was made just for him – okay, maybe I exaggerated a bit over here… but it did match him and his orange hair.

We left the store after buying the t-shirt and wandered around the streets once again, trying to find other interesting things to look at… but the rest of the things didn't catch my eye, and they looked plain, not original enough to catch my attention… until I saw _it_.

It was the first thing that I noticed in the display case in front of a jewellery store. It was a very _very_ familiar thick black bracelet, with a dark blue pearl installed in the middle of it, decorated by a carved metal bead on each side…

I must've been really into the bracelet, since I couldn't even hear Ichigo call me. I had only heard him after a few calls.

"-yuki, you want to go inside?" I blinked, looking at him, and turned my head sideways to say 'no' before walking away from the display case.

The bracelet reminded me of many things, of my past in Soul Society, in Seireitei, in Hueco Mundo… it was like a charm that replayed my entire life in my mind…

"You seem out of it." I couldn't help but awkwardly smile a little.

"A bit. Just thinking. Remembering about some old memories…" I tried to find another topic to talk about by looking around, finding things that would be interesting to talk about.

Yet I couldn't help but stay quiet for the long walk I had with Ichigo. I wanted to find something to talk about with him, so I wouldn't bore him, but nothing came to my mind, so I decided to leave it that way. I don't know how far we've walked since we got there, but I was starting to feel tired, especially after seeing that _bracelet_...

"Were you always this quiet?" a voice beside me asked. And I said without thinking...

"I just don't know what to talk about..."

"You don't need to think about what you want to talk about, a topic will eventually come." Well, that didn't sound like him at all. I never expected for someone like him to say such stuff.

"Did you pick that sentence from a book?" I asked, looking up at him and smirking. Yep, I was trying to make fun of him. And the expression he gave me made my sentence worth it. He was looking at me like I was a monster or like I had three eyes.

"What are you talking about?" he asked curiously, while I tried to not laugh out loud.

"You just don't seem to be someone who'd say this kind of stuff..." I replied genuinely.

"So you expect me to talk like what?" Hm... well, that's a good question, I haven't pondered about this yet...

"I'm not so sure... You seem shy to talk... And you always frown, so I guess you're not that kind of talkative person... I was expecting you to be someone who's quieter or 'in their bubble' type of person. But I suppose you caught me wrong." I explained everything from my point of view. And then I actually thought of what I thought he'd say. "I think you'd be more the type to say 'Don't force yourself so much', and then look at me with a big frown on your face." He just looked at me with one eyebrow raised, kind of asking me if I was just joking around. Well, I was being honest, but I also partly said that for fun.

"… Well, you can't judge people by their looks, right... You seem serious in front of Hisagi and the others, but you're like a kid."

...

What did he just say? Did he just say that I was like a kid? No way! ...

Okay, well maybe he was just saying the truth, but I have my own personal personality, asides from the one I show to my subordinates! So of course I can't act like a kid in front of them, or who would trust and believe in me? Right? I looked back up at him, and he was looking at me, a funny expression on his face.

"Whatever... It's not like I'll never grow up or whatsoever..." I crossed my arms.

"With your height?" ... well, I wonder what Toshiro would have said about this comment.

"Well, I'm happy about my height, being too tall for a girl is troublesome. And it's easier to fight in a smaller size…" And Toshiro would never think about that! Cause he worries too much about his height - well, after all, he's a boy, isn't he? Hahaha, stupid Toshiro.

*Achooo!*

"Bless you?" I said, not sure if that sound actually came from Ichigo. He turned his head sideways.

"It wasn't me." Well, woops. I got the wrong person. "Do you need to go do some more shopping?" I looked up at him, I wasn't really fond of shopping, and I would only go usually if I really had something to buy. So I didn't even know why I decided to come here with him... to a shopping outlet. "I'm not really fond of shopping..."

"But last time we came, you seemed quite-"

Last time…? Did he mean the time that we were together with Rukia? Probably... but I still can't remember anything about it, not even a glimpse of how things were... except for that weird _dream_ that I had a few days ago. If everything was true... and if he really dated Rukia... then is that why I was rejecting him in that _dream?_

"Did... you and Rukia... really date?" I didn't know why my voice acted faster than my mind and make me ask such question, but it was true that I wanted to know everything from the beginning until the end.

I just looked up at him, hoping he'd be answering me honestly. I didn't know what kind of expression my face was saying, but he was only looking back at me... shocked.

I haven't thought much about this question recently, but when something triggers it... I'm very curious about it, I want to know what happened to him and me before. But if Rukia and Ichigo really broke up because of me... how would I feel? How can I face Rukia anymore? What would she think about me? Yet the truth already stands in front of me... Rukia has been acting very friendly towards me, but her saddened expression can't lie to me. She might be laughing in front of me, but it's obvious that she's forcing herself.

"We did date before..." I knew it... "I thought I started to have feelings for her when we dated… but it was just my imagination…"

"Is that so...?" the moment he told me that he did, I felt my heart tighten in my chest, the tips of my fingers suddenly growing ice cold. I didn't know that was because of Hyokorimaru's effect or because it was my own body reacting that way... but I only recognized that I was feeling an unwanted feeling inside me, making me feel very uncomfortable. "I heard that you broke up because of me..." What was I talking about? I felt like my voice was becoming a broken chain, my words started to sound incoherent and broken, I didn't even know if I was talking to myself or to Ichigo anymore...

"I broke up with Rukia because I didn't think that it'd work out, that's not only because of you..."

I didn't really know what he meant when he said that, while looking at me with an emotion that I could hardly read, but just hearing him say that he didn't break up with her because of me, it put great relief in me. Yet somehow, somewhere inside me, I still felt sad. Even if he says it that way, _one_ of the reasons he broke up with her was because of _me_…

I don't know how long it had been since I've met him, but the moment I saw him for the first time at Urahara's place, he left a very big impression in me, and I think it'll be graved into my memory for the rest of my life. The way he rushed towards me... the way he looked at me... the broken expression he had... I couldn't forget them at all. The impression he left in me was even bigger than Kai's, or anyone else I can remember... was it because of the shocking, out of norm encounter?

"Are you still in love with the Tsuyuki that you met before...?" I felt it shocking that I asked such a question. It was even weirder to have said my own name out loud, asking him about _my_ past.

"There is no difference between the Tsuyuki of before and now." I looked up at him. "You're exactly the same person that I've known." Even if he says that I'm _exactly_ the same as he remembered… I know that something has changed for him, I wasn't exactly the same Tsuyuki of before, because I'm sure I'm not thinking the same way about him as I did before, right?

"... What if I don't remember anything...? Would you still try to make me remember about what I forgot?" I kept on going. I let myself ask questions that I never thought I would ask before. I was just opening myself to him easily. But I also wanted to know more about his thoughts on this... and maybe this'll open me a new way to see things from now on.

"I used to care very much on the fact that you'll remember me or not, but seeing that after so long, you still can't remember me... I think I'm starting to give up..." I looked at him. He was going to give up so easily? Somehow, hearing those two words was like having a knife stab right into my heart - it was very painful to hear. "But that won't mean that I've given up on you..." he looked at me, his eyes glinting with an emotion that I never wanted to forget. "I know you had feelings for me before, and I know that it's still there, somewhere inside you." I felt like he was opening his heart for me to see, like how I've allowed myself to ask him such questions, he has allowed himself to say such deep thoughts. "That's why I won't give up even if you don't remember our previous times together at all. We'll just make new memories together."

Seeing someone so optimistic made me smile. I never thought that someone could be so optimistic about something like this, but I guess I did find someone like that.

"Let's go sit a bit... I'll go get something to drink for both of us." before I could deny or say anything about it, he had already left running to go buy drinks for us, so the only option I had left was to go sit down on the bench that was right in front of me. I guess he was a bit embarrassed after all this talk after all... but I somehow couldn't stop my lips from showing a heartfelt smile. I must have looked like a child that got her wish fulfilled by a fairy, but I didn't really mind for that time being, probably because I felt truly happy for once.

Ichigo came back after a while, holding a bottle of apple juice and a bottle of green tea.

"Sorry, there was a lot of people." he said as he handed me the green tea bottle, while I wondered how he knew I liked drinking this kind of tea. He must've guessed what I was thinking, because he quickly said "You used to drink that a lot before."

"Um... thanks." I took the bottle from his hand and opened it as he sat down beside me. I discreetly looked at him from the side, noticing the deep lines formed by his jaw and all, with a few drops of sweat running down his face. His face shape looked a lot like Hisagi... but Ichigo's appearance was more... handsome...

Okay, no, I shouldn't be thinking this way! I have to put this off my mind!

I quickly shoved down a few 'gallons' of water down my throat, trying to think of something else.

"Isn't the weather nice, today? There are almost no clouds!" I said, looking up at the sky, trying my best to admire the blue sky and the few puffs of white.

"It looked exactly like this when I met you."

I turned my head to look at Ichigo, and he wore that thoughtful and happy look on his face. It was like he was having a flashback of all the great memories we shared together. And this was the first time that I really wanted to ask him to tell me everything that had happened between us, from the point we met, until the moment my memory of him blacked out. I wanted to have a share of this happiness as well, so I took my courage and asked him.

"Can you tell me... the whole story?" I sounded a bit awkward, hesitant, but I really wanted to know. He was looking at me, eyes as wide as his face, but he didn't deny my request. For him, and also for me, I know that this would be a big risky step into our _friendship_, and I was willing to take that step ahead, I was willing to know every detail that I missed and that I probably didn't want to know about. But now, I wanted to know, even if I had to regret it later…

[...]

"... I was desperately hoping to see you once again... and then that day, at Urahara's..."

He needn't continue his sentence for me to know the rest of the story. He saw me, and then I almost killed him. After all that searching that he's gone through to look for me, and then to the point of finding out that I don't even know who he is anymore... All this must have been hard for him...

"Ichigo... I never thought that... that..." …. _that_ _someone could care so much for me_... aside from Toshiro, he is the second man that makes me feel vulnerable. What can I do for him now? "If only I remembered... then I'm sure you wouldn't have to go through all this..." I was wordless. After hearing this entire story, knowing about what he thought all this time, I suddenly felt like I didn't deserve him, and that I wasn't worth his time. "Why did you do so much for me... why didn't you give up..." I couldn't look at his eyes, I felt ashamed for some reason. I'd rather stick my eyes onto the floor than looking at him anymore.

"Because I believe in you."

What?

I looked up at him, he was looking at me, smiling, showing me a truly happy smile.

"And you still do...?" I felt unsure of what I was asking, but I just knew that if I didn't ask this question, or that if he didn't reply me, I would feel insecure, disappointed.

"I do." His smile disappeared and only his frown remained. I've never seen him look at me so seriously before. It felt like it would be the end of the world if I didn't believe in his words.

At that moment, I felt my cheeks heating up. I quickly turned my face away from his, afraid to let him see that I was blushing. And it was at the same time that I'd notice how late it was already, we could already count the stars up in the sky, and the sunlight was nowhere to be seen.

"I-it's getting late, maybe we should find a place to eat." I suggested, still not looking at him. I felt like if I did, I'll lose all my cool.

"Yeah, since it's getting quite cool around, do you want to go to a Hot Pot restaurant? There's one just around here."

"Sure." I smiled. It had been a while since I enjoyed Japanese Hot Pot with anyone.

*driiiiiing!*

"Is that your phone ringing?" Huh?

Oh darn. I forgot that I had a phone on me, since I nearly never use any – we don't need them in Soul Society.

I quickly dug my hand into my jacket's pocket, looking for my phone.

"Hello?" I quickly answered as I found the phone.

"It's Toshiro. Urahara wants us all to meet up at his place. Ichigo's with you, right? Tell him to come as well." So suddenly…?

"Um… okay, we'll be there soon."

To be honest, I felt a bit disappointed, because Ichigo and I couldn't finish our date properly…

… _Okay, wait, no, I did not just say date! It's just an outing I had with him!_

I flipped off my phone, half frustrated about myself and the other half was because of the phone call.

"Urahara wants us at his place now, so I guess we'll have to eat next time." I smiled awkwardly at Ichigo, knowing that he would be disappointed as well. "Let's go." I stood up from the bench that I had sat on for a few hours and slowly walked ahead, warming up my legs muscles. _I shouldn't have picked up the call_.

No! Why am I thinking that way? It might be something very important! That's probably why Toshiro called me even if he knew I was going out with Ichigo!

"Yeah, for sure we'll have another time."

I didn't know when he caught up to me, or how he thought of saying this, but it really warmed me up from the bottom of my heart, even if it was only a small sentence that not much people would care about.

"Yeah." I didn't even try to hide my smile, I just let myself do what I felt like, with no restrictions at all.

We walked quietly together in the streets, retracing our footsteps, with the amount of people passing by never decreasing. This was indeed the most popular street I've ever went to, even during the afternoon, when we came, and until now, there was many people. This was like the gathering places of all the living soul in Karakura.

"How do you like Karakura Town?" Kurosaki Ichigo asked me suddenly. I barely had to think before I replied him…

"It's very different from Seireitei…" I paused a bit, looking around, at the cheerful laughter around me. "I would come back again if I could." After seeing this place, I wanted to see even more that I haven't seen. Trying how to adapt to their living style was new for me, Seireitei had always been the only place I had been to, and its living style was the only one for me, but I've just gotten to know a second one, and now, I wanted to know even more about places that are not like Soul Society.

I looked over at Ichigo, who had a thoughtful look on his face.

"And I'll come visit you again for sure!" I felt like even if we haven't met for _long_, it was like we've been friends forever. I could truly be myself around him, I could act like I wanted to, do everything that I wanted to and he wouldn't care. Maybe that was the feeling my own body gave me because of my past with him?

"I'll be waiting for that day."

This little phrase sent shocks to my heart. For some reason, I didn't know how to reply to him…

"We're here."

I looked up, thinking that the road was very short. And it was. We were already here.

_I wanted it to be longer_… _Guess that's how things are… when you get too happy about it, that's the moment it ends_.

"Let's go in then!" The only emotion I couldn't show him was my sadness… I had to put up a big smile on my face and walk ahead, even if he had stopped behind me, to show him that I didn't think of him as anything.

"Wait!"

_I felt someone's breath behind me, he was very close, and he was also pulling back my wrist. I didn't do anything to free myself from the tight grip, I was just looking at the ground. The warmth around this person was comfortable, almost unreal._

"_Why are you trying to stay away from me?!" what…? _

"I-I'm sorry… never mind…"

Did he just pull me back? Was it my imagination? Why did I have that flashback when he did it?

"Ichigo…" I stood in front of him, my legs not giving in to my brain's messages, telling them to walk and walk. I just looked down, thinking about how things happened so quickly… _I was about to walk ahead of him, and then he held me back, pulling my wrist. _And I had that flashback… Did that flashback give me such a deep impression that I still remember it until now? What if I didn't do the same thing as in the _dream_? What if I looked into his eyes at that time?

**Ichigo's POV**

"Ichigo…" I didn't know how she felt at the moment I pulled her back, but I know this was a wrong move that I had done…

Until I felt her arms wrap around me.

I looked down, seeing her silver hair against my chest, feeling her small arms around my back.

I was shocked beyond words. I felt my heartbeat running faster and faster, but I did nothing to calm it down, because I didn't know how to react to such a sudden move from Tsuyuki. My arms kept moving on their own, while I tried to resist, but as I saw that she didn't let go, I let my control go over to my body and wrapped my arms around her small shape.

"I still don't know how I feel about all this… but hugging you like this doesn't feel wrong…" was all I could hear… Somehow, her last words lifted a great weight from my shoulders.

It felt different, hugging her and Rukia. I felt more comfortable with her, and I felt that I had to protect her even more, as she seemed so fragile in my arms. I thought that if I'd hug her a bit stronger, she'd fall into pieces in my arms.

When my consciousness gathered back, and when I could think more sanely, I remembered what I wanted to do earlier…

I discreetly moved my hand above her jacket's pocket and opened my grip, and let the item fall into the clothing. I wanted to give it to her earlier in the day, right after I bought it… I tried again just now… but I had no courage, so I'll leave it there, until she finds it.

I started to loosen my arms around her as I felt her grip let go as well. I smiled seeing her blush, she was allowing herself to let me see sides of her that people didn't know about, and I was happy.

"You must've felt shocked… my body reacted on its own…" she said.

"It's okay, let's go in now."

She nodded as we walked small steps towards Urahara's Shoten, her blush still visible on her face. And then as for me, I walked in, a small smile on my face.

_To be continued_…


	18. Part 17

I looked over to the boy that stood beside my desk.

Everything was like a dream. It had been exactly one week since we had gone out with each other. Even though it ended up with us going to Urahara's, for some reason, I was very happy. I couldn't get it off my mind for even more than a minute now. I always kept the memory replaying in my head, and it only made me more and more happy. I had never been so obsessed with something like this.

Even Hisagi would find me smiling crazily at myself in the office… sometimes. And since that day, it was like we were one step closer to each other in our friendship. We talked more together, we went to school together and walked back home from school together. This was the ideal life for a teenage school girl.

Like I said, this was the ideal life for a teenage school girl, but I'm not even close to both. I'm a shinigami, who's almost close to her 100 living years...

I smiled at Ichigo, putting in the last few textbooks into my school bag and sat on the desk - really, why am I always tempted to sit on desks more than chairs? Well, I suppose I'm not the only one, am I?

"How come you're always so quick?" I said, wondering how he could always be the first one to finish cleaning up his desk before all of us. He only shrugged at my question, before I turned my attention to the rest of our group. Orihime, Rukia and the others were sitting around us, waiting for the classroom to clear up, which didn't take long. Ishida quickly locked the door after the last student and joined our small group. We stayed silent for a while more, waiting for some expected guests to come.

"What's taking them so long?" Ichigo asked. I just used the same reply he gave me for my previous question. I didn't know more than him why Toshiro and the others were late, but it was probably because of the Arrancar appearance earlier this morning.

I felt them appearing, and my blood was boiling to go fight them, but Rukia, Ichigo and me were given orders not to run around during school hours, which makes it even more impossible for Orihime and the rest to go out… And another point to that, was that because that Urahara guy insisted me on watching over Orihime, without anyone finding out…

Well, I wasn't worried about Toshiro and the others at all, I would know if anything happened, either because of my link with Toshiro, or because I can feel their reiatsu pretty clearly. But seriously, I could have used my Gikongan if anything really happened, so why wouldn't they allow us to go, and why is Orihime so important out of our entire group? On top of that... this was just an order given by Urahara, not even the sotaicho gave us such an order... but I suppose he has his own reasons to do this.

*toc*toc*

My head quickly turned to the window behind me, revealing a few shinigamis standing behind. I turned around to slide the window open to let Hisagi, Renji, Matsumoto, Toshiro, Ikkaku and Yumichika in – yes, I could _finally_ remember his name.

"You guys are late!" Rukia said, expressing what I was thinking.

"It wasn't our fault!" Matsumoto quickly defended them. I looked at her, my expression questioning.

"We saw the Hollow of last time that Tsuyuki couldn't kill."

...

Well, I didn't need more reminders to guess which one Toshiro was talking about.

"We still can't confirm if it is an Arrancar or a regular Hollow, the reiatsu it is emitting is very different from the ones we've seen before. I'm afraid it is a new kind of Hollow Aizen has created with the Hogyouku."

Aizen was the traitor of Seireitei. I haven't even met him once, but I already knew that I hated him... With everything that he's done to Toshiro and the rest of them, it was worth the reason of killing him. I still remember the one time I went to visit Momo at the 4th Division's barracks, she looked so weak and frail, I really couldn't imagine how that jerk could have done that to her. On top of that… he tried to make her kill Toshiro, this is the worst that he could've done for them.

He must've known that Toshiro cared a lot for her and that he'd never hurt her on purpose, so he tried to use her to get rid of him. That Sousuke Aizen totally brainwashed her.

"How's everything going for you guys?" I looked down, turning my head sideways, thinking that it was useless for me to even go to school since Kain was almost never showing up to classes.

"I would answer that question if only he would show up to classes." I said, looking at Toshiro.

"I never thought he'd do this… He was such a great student and friend before…" As we heard that, most of us, Shinigamis, shifted our attention to Orihime. Well, I suppose that she didn't intend to let us hear that because she looked like she was talking to herself.

"Um... did I say something wrong?" Well, not that she had said something wrong, but this could be a clue to our investigation. I mean, what kind of person would suddenly change so much within such short amount of time, turning from a _great_ student into a gangster student who always skips class... who would believe that nothing happened within these few months of summer?

"No, Inoue Orihime, this might be helpful." Hisagi's voice resonated beside me. "We need to get as much information as we can about him before taicho meets up with him."

Well, I didn't even need to tell the whole group about it for them to know that he invited me to go to his place. And the thought of it made me discreetly glare at Renji. If only it wasn't Toshiro telling me, I wouldn't have known that this guy was spying on me when I was with Kain. Well, not that I minded, but I just didn't expect him to do that…

"We don't know what that guy's got, so we have to gather as much information about the Hollows and him. He might look like an ordinary human, but it's almost impossible for him to see shinigamis _and_ hide his reiatsu if he wasn't a Hollow or a Shinigami himself. So there must be something about him that we don't know. And I'm about 100% sure that he isn't one of you, or else the Soul Society would have informed you about it…"

And there goes Ishida, he continued on and on about how we should prepare and gave out all the possibilities possible. His lips didn't stop moving for a second, not even letting the chance for others to speak up, but after all this talking, I'm pretty sure everything everyone wanted to say was already out. Only Toshiro had the heart to cut him here and then, adding some comments either it was positive and negative, and eventually, something started building inside them, and it started to sound more like a negotiation between them than anything else.

Well, I suppose both of them has their leader side, so that's probably why Toshiro couldn't let that guy say everything – yes, this sounds so silly from him.

As usual, I don't like to sit in between long talks, so I just decided to stand up quietly and leave the room for another place where I could sit and relax.

"Just tell me what the conclusion is when you guys are done with it…" I flung my school bag over my shoulder and walked out of the classroom. In my head, I already had the image of Hisagi's face when I said that, along with what he would be thinking. He's probably thinking that I'm an _irresponsible taicho_, or such kind of _compliments_ and all, but I didn't care at all. I would fall asleep sooner or later if I stayed here listening to Toshiro and Ishida battle it out.

I'm not a thinker like Toshiro is, and I rather just go in action when needed to and think when I need to. So if they're here, I trust them, I believe that Toshiro and Ishida would eventually find out something with their smart brain.

"Tsuyuki!" my legs halted at the familiar voice, turning around on their own. My eyes met with Ichigo's, and I stood there, waiting as if I already knew he had something to say. "Why did you leave so quickly? I almost couldn't catch up to you."

"I just don't like listening for too long." I searched for the closest clock around, and it indicated that it was half an hour past four. "It's been almost more than half an hour that we had been inside already."

In fact, I was kind of troubled by the boy. Not Ichigo, but that Kain kid. We didn't find out much about him like we thought we would. And there no information about him anywhere else then from his friends, who didn't have much information themselves either, the only clue is that they all said that he was like two different people since a year ago.

"Thinking about that Kobushin?" I looked up at Ichigo, not even a split second of hesitation coming in my mind before I nodded.

"Why did you come after me anyways?" I'm very straight-forward, so I would ask what comes right into my mind sometimes.

"I just thought that I shouldn't be leaving you alone all by yourself."

_I hope it's not that Toshiro or Renji pulling their strings again…_

"You want to go somewhere and have a drink?" I suggested, not knowing what to do or what to say.

**Later at night…**

I closed the door behind me and dropped the school bag in a corner. I felt so tired, the first thing I could think of was drop on my bed. I kept looking up at the ceiling, memories and thoughts rushing through my mind. I suddenly thought of something. I sat up and tried to reach for the notebook that was lying on the top corner of my desk. When I got it between my fingers, I pulled myself back on the warm fabric of the sheets and pulled out a picture from the notebook. I smiled at the picture.

It was a picture Toshiro and the others took the other day, when I was going out with Ichigo - they were spying on us. It was a close-up of me and Ichigo smiling and talking, even though I didn't know why I felt so attached to that picture, I still treasured it. It was like one of the few happy memories I could keep forever. It's true that memories could last longer than a picture, but seeing it so clearly makes everything different.

_I sat down on the opposite side of Ichigo, taking the menu that the waitress was handing us. I scanned through the list and couldn't recognize any kind of drinks except for the ones in the tea section or juice section. I looked up at Ichigo's face that looked unfazed, carefully choosing what he wanted. And I just looked back at the menu._

_I didn't have time to choose what to get before the waitress came back to us, asking us what we wanted to drink. I looked up at the waitress, not sure of what I should do. At the end, I decided to do the worst thing I ever could. I randomly pointed at a drink in the menu and said "I'll have this here please."_

_And then she left with both our orders written down in her notepad._

_And then she came back with an orange juice – which I suppose was for Ichigo – and something else that smelled weird, but in a good way. I waited for her to place the cup of dark substance in front of me before taking it in front of my nose and smell the strange odor._

_Indeed, it smelled very good, something that I've never seen or smelled before._

_I could feel someone's eyes on me so I looked up to see the boy looking at me with an amused face._

"_You've never tried this? You look like a caveman that just came out of its cave." Uh… what is he talking about? "It's called coffee. Give it a try, you might like it since you're look so passionate about the smell. But I personally don't like its taste…"_

_I looked at him, and then back at the dark liquid in front of me, and then took a sip…_

_And the next thing I wanted to do was to spit it out._

"_Don't like it?" I could barely swallow the weird liquid. And I really wanted to rip his smirk off his face. "Try it with some milk and sugar, it helps." Should I believe him or not?_

_I looked at the small cup and small bag that he handed me. One was written _milk_ on it and the other was written with _sugar_ on it. I pondered a bit, and finally decided on what to do._

_I quickly swapped his orange juice with my _coffee_ and tried to smile nicely at him._

"_Let's exchange." I said. I wouldn't want to take the risk of tasting that weird thing again… However, it did smell very good…_

_He stared at me with his eyes halfway out of its sockets, looking back and forth at me and at the coffee. I didn't budge a muscle until he sighed and made the move to open the small cup and pour the white substance in the cup, followed by the small white sachet that contained the sugar._

_The drink smelled great, but it taste was very… different from it. I would've never thought that something that smelled so good could taste like some randomly mixed herbal medicine. I guess that sometimes it's not only the first impression that counts…_

_First impression…_

_I looked up at Ichigo, thinking of the _first_ time we met at Urahara's place. Well, it wasn't the first time technically, but in my memories, it is. He gave me a very bad impression at that time… but after all this time spent with him, does that first impression indicates much anymore? Is it what I want to trust the most now?_

Looking at the picture, analyzing every details of it, I've started questioning myself… I never knew I could smile so happily after everything that has happened in Hueco Mundo, after losing almost all of my dearest friends that I've been with for years… neither did I think that I'd become such close friends with Ichigo. I could see that my smile was taking the whole length of the picture, it almost seemed unreal to me, but I knew everything was true, because I remember everything that has happened that day. Just thinking of everything about that day made the corner of my lips tug at my face. I could never hide my smile in front of this. It was a special sensation that I felt, it was different. It felt that even if I was at my worst time, this picture could make me smile anytime.

"It looks like someone is thinking about Kurosaki." I didn't deny anything before looking towards the doorway to Toshiro, who invaded my room without my permission. I only let my emotions express themselves without even thinking about it.

"And you? What about Hinamori?" I smiled at him while he entered my room and sat on my bed nonchalantly.

"There's nothing about her." He pointed out. Well, I guess I couldn't expect more from him.

I sighed and sat up to match his height, noticing that he's grown an inch taller than me since the last time I've noticed his height.

"She's going to be heartbroken if she hears that." I slipped back the picture into the notebook and put it into a drawer close to me.

"Would you feel that way if Kurosaki said that?"

_There's nothing about her_…

What?

For a moment there, my brain replayed the exact same sentence Toshiro had said about Hinamori in Ichigo's voice. Even though I knew that he had never said that, it had me speechless. Also for a moment, I felt my heart skip as I stopped breathing for a short second.

"I-I wouldn't care about what he says about me." I said, recovering quickly from my shock. I didn't know why I had reacted that way, but I knew that it didn't make any sense at all.

"Stop lying. I saw your reaction just now." What reaction did he see? What is he thinking? "And you looked like you were enjoying the picture we gave you."

But really… how would I feel if it was really Ichigo saying this to me? Would I get the same reaction that I just had? And could that photo really bring out my emotions so easily…?

"We are just friends, so I can't find any reasons why I would care about what he says about me." I said the first thing that crossed my mind, but the only reply I received was a sigh from Toshiro.

"You know exactly what he feels about you, there's no way you can 'just be friends' like this." …

Well, I guess that Toshiro did point out something true. For the past few weeks, I've been reminded almost every day that he had feelings for me before I lost my memory, and that even _now_ he still has something for me… And I'm really starting to fall into this ocean of words and losing myself.

"You're starting to develop feelings for him, right?"

*b-bump*

"W-what…? What are you talking about…?" Develop feelings for him? No way… How can I fall in love with a human?

"You might not know it yet, but it's obvious with all the hints you're giving when you're around him." I looked at Toshiro, and I knew he was talking to me as my dearest brother now. "I'm your brother, I know you more than you do. And I will most likely understand you more than anyone else." I… does he really understand me more than I do myself?

"I don't want to be in love with him…" I haven't realized that what I just said could just seal the fact that I've admitted my feelings for him.

Once again, I couldn't get my eyes off Toshiro as he looked at me compassionately.

"I know what you're thinking, Tsuyuki…" I know he does, he's like my mind reader… "I'm sure both of you will find a way out of this maze." Yeah…

"I'm sure Hinamori will understand your feelings too."

I might not have accurate intuitions like Toshiro does about me, but I knew he had something for her, he would just never admit it.

"I'm telling you that I don't feel anything for her." Well, it would be more credible if he wasn't blushing.

"So, are you planning to stay _short_ for the rest of your life?" I pulled the topic somewhere else. And his reaction quickly changed. A vein was popping out from his forehead.

"Why so?" I smirked.

"You'll never grow up if you keep sleeping this late." I pointed out, looking at the clock that indicated 2 o'clock past midnight already.

**A few days later…**

As usual, class lasted longer than I could ever think, these periods of an hour lasted longer and longer every day.

"So today's the day…" I looked up at Ichigo, who was standing by my desk. I hadn't made a move since class ended. I knew exactly what he was talking about. I looked at the clock on the wall, which the second hand of the time almost indicated that it was going to be four o'clock sharp in a few minutes. It was also the exact time when she had to meet up with Kain in front of the school gates.

"Yeah…" I didn't look at his eyes, I felt like I've been avoiding his gaze for the entire day today, and I seriously didn't understand why I was doing this.

I slowly stood up and packed my textbooks into my school bag, doing all these steps in the slowest pace I've ever did, glancing at the clock every ten seconds. Well, it seemed like I really wasn't willing to go to Kain's place, and somehow, my intuition told me that it wasn't a good idea to go there, or to get close to that boy. However, an intuition stays an intuition, I can't live my life with just this…

I tried to put a smile on my face, looking at Ichigo and swung my school bag onto my shoulder.

"I'll see you later then!" I waved at the rest of my friends, quickly exiting the classroom, heading towards the school entrance.

I felt somehow unhappy leaving Ichigo like this, I felt like I was abandoning him…

Wait, what am I thinking here? Why would I be abandoning him? Gosh, I'm just saying nonsense now!

I walked through the halls of the school, and it is just now that I noticed that this place could seem so strange and cold to me when Ichigo and the others aren't around. It felt as if I was walking all alone in a dark hallway of a haunted place… it felt chilly and weird. I felt my footsteps getting quicker and quicker, the wish of getting out of here invading my mind…

I released a long breath as I stepped out of the school. Things were so different when Ichigo wasn't with me, even now, I didn't feel like myself anymore.

I looked up front to the school gate and saw Kain waiting by the entrance, I waved at him to look my way so he could know I was there.

"Hey, I'm glad you could make it." He said. I only smiled and nodded to him. My whole mind was filled with thoughts of someone else. Someone that I never thought I could be thinking so much about.

We started walking away from the students' building towards the direction of Kain's house, yet my mind not able to leave that place yet. I knew that Toshiro and the others would meet up there again for another meeting that I was going to be briefed about later, but I somehow felt disappointed that I couldn't be there to listen to them – and really, this is the first time that I felt this way about a meeting.

"So… your grandmother… is she… ill?" I asked. I was slowly starting to pick up the pace of the life of a teenager in the Human World, seeing that I hung out more around those people… and that Rukia and Matsumoto insisted on me watching those television shows about school life. And thanks to that, I learned a lot on how to communicate with my _temporary_ classmates.

I looked at him as he didn't say anything. And he was just looking at me, a confused and funny expression on his face.

"What makes you think that?" he asked.

"Well… you did mention that it was her wish that she wanted to see you bring your _little friend_ home to introduce her." I said, this was also the reason why I had accepted to go... If she died without having fulfilled her wish, it would make our job much more difficult, so I might as well fulfill it while she's still living. I was about to listen carefully to what he had to say but I only found him turning his head negatively.

"She's very healthy. It's just that I don't want to make her wait too long…"

"… oh…" I did not have any comments about what he had just told me. Well, I didn't exactly get lied to, I just didn't clarify the situation before accepting his invitation.

"Sorry, I should've told you earlier about that…" he apologized. I smiled at how nice he was.

"No, it's okay, it's not your fault. You also wanted to thank me for last time, right? It'll be a very good opportunity." I replied, trying to make him feel better about it. Unexpectedly, I heard him laugh softly.

"You're really like my ex-girlfriend." Huh?

Well, that picked my curiosity.

I looked curiously at him, hoping for him to say more about it.

"We broke up just before she died…" I felt sorry when he showed me his sour expression. "But it's okay, I'm sure she's even happier now, wherever she is, with my older brother..."

From what he just said, it seemed like she had been cheating on him with his brother, but I could tell that he still loves her very much even though she did that to him. I already knew a bit about his family before today. We found out just two days ago that his parents died in a car accident just a few months ago, and that was why he was staying with his grandmother now. And also from the same source of information, we were told that his brother died from a cancer three years ago.

I didn't ask him anymore questions or say a word after that. I didn't want to say the wrong things again and dig into his scars, so I decided to stay quiet. He didn't ask me anything either, so our whole way to his place was calm and peaceful…

Until I saw his house.

Really, you really can't judge someone by his appearance. He had all the qualities of a normal school boy… but only by looking at his mansion… I knew he was rich, even richer than the house we lived in. And I can say is, this place is almost twice as big as our house…

Kain showed me the way into his main entrance, to the living room where his grandmother sat.

"Hey, grandma! This is my friend, her name is Tsuyuki!" I politely bowed at the 'elderly' woman in front of me. Well I call her an 'elder', but I'm much older than she actually is… With that look of hers, she could easily be around the same age range than the so-taicho.

"Nice to meet you." I tried to keep my voice and my tone respectful, acting like how a perfect teenage girl would. I straightened myself from the bow as she replied me with small words…

"Hello, Tsuyuki…" her voice was indeed very shaky and broken, but she seemed very healthy in every way. "Would you like to have something to drink?" and like every other parents, she would ask this very same question.

"No, I'm good, thank you."

"Grandma, Tsuyuki and I will go to the dojo now." The boy bowed at his grandparent before she could say anything else and pulled me out of the room, heading towards the _dojo_ he mentioned about. Well, let's say that his house was so big it could have anything in here. I never thought that his family could be so rich. "Sorry, she would start talking a lot if we stayed there." He explained as we got out of her hearing range – which was not very far away. I let a small smile slip from my lips, thinking that it was funny how he talked about her, yet it was very obvious that she was important to him.

We walked through a few hallways in his house, went into the garden and walked by a pond as well. The most impressing thing I noticed were all of the family pictures they had put up on the wall. You could easily find at least five or ten of them on each wall, decorating their _mansion_. And I had to admit that his mom was a total beauty. I would really like to meet her in Soul Society…

"We're here."

I blinked and looked around me. It was indeed a _real_ dojo. Well, almost. He had all kind of weapons hung to the wall of the room or placed on a rack by the walls, the room was spacious and wide, with huge windows allowing the sunlight into the place and the floor was carefully covered with tatamis.

"Waoh… I would've never thought you'd have such an amazing dojo at your place…" I looked at the boy beside me, he was just smiling at me. "You must know martial arts very well in that case." I looked at his expression change from a smile to a thoughtful expression in less than a second. Did I say something wrong?

"Not really… this dojo belonged to my father…" I bit my lips. I guess I did say something wrong. "I started learning martial arts with him when I was young, but when he passed away… I stopped."

"I'm sorry…" I apologized, I didn't expect that I'd be scavenging in his scars.

"No, it's okay. But I still remember some basic stuff he thought me." He smiled happily at that. He must really love his family. "How about we spar?"

I looked at him. And then I nodded. I had hesitated for a second, because I thought that something was wrong with the question, but I didn't know what. I couldn't find the mismatched puzzle in his words. Nevertheless, I still accepted his challenge.

"Alright, you can pick whichever weapon you want around here." He said to me. I looked around the room, analyzing every weapon his family owned even though I already had in my mind what I wanted. I walked around the room, taking in my brain the shape of every item in this spacious room.

"Alright." I stopped at the other side of the room and turned around to face Kain, who was looking at me attentively. "I'll go bare handed." I smiled a bit at him and crouched down in an offensive position. "But please go easy on me."

Wait… That's right… How did he know that I knew martial arts? No way, I haven't told anyone at school about it. Only Rukia and the others know… but they wouldn't tell anyone… There's something wrong about this…

"Get ready…" I frowned. Something was really really wrong. I saw him charging towards me at full speed, a devious smirk on his face. He was totally like another person compared to earlier. I tried to block the kicks and the punches that he sent my way, feeling that he had much more power than a normal human being would have. He was quick, strong, and most of all, merciless, even with me under my inoffensive school-girl mask.

And somehow, his movements reminded me of the last Hollow we've seen. Even if it wasn't the same type of attack or anything, the way he moved and threw punches and kicks at me mirrored the movements of the Hollow.

I rethought of the moment when I saw Kain and that Hollow one after another.

And there was actually a link between them.

Kain _is_ the Hollow.

I quickly jumped back, easily giving hints of my martial art skills level, but I didn't care about those last details. I dug into my pocket to find my Gikongan dispenser, which was hard to do with my constant jumps and blocks.

"What are you doing?!"

I'm sure of it now. His voice became more and more like a Hollow's…

"I know your true nature…" I said, jumping a few meters back to keep a safe distance between us both. I held the dispenser that was in my pocket, ready to take it out at any moment.

"Well…" with my bare eyes, I looked at him slowly change shape to form into the gruesome Hollow I met before. "I wanted to play a bit more before devouring you…" I smirked at him. I was very confident of myself that I could beat this thing with no problems at all.

I pulled out the dispenser from my school uniform's pocket and pushed the head of it…

*slam*

I shakily opened my eyes to look in front of me, towards the devious monster. His maniac laugh was making my head spin. I turned my head around, trying to find where the dispenser and the candy had fallen onto, and found them at the other side of the wide room.

_Great…_

I shook my head a bit to re-focus my attention on the Hollow, seeing that it hadn't made a move yet. _I need to think quickly_… I was too far from reaching the Gikongan, and in this body, I can't move as fast… Why haven't I thought of this earlier…

I sat up, my eyes never leaving the _soul_ in front of me as I swiped off the blood from my lips with the back of my hand.

"You did put up a great show for these few weeks…" I pointed out, thinking of how _almost_ everything was planned perfectly since I met him. I frowned as an evil laugh picked my attention. I glared at the Hollow. "What's so funny?" I asked.

"It's funny how naïve and simple minded you shinigamis can be." I looked through its mask to see the expression it had in its golden eyes. This devilish, piercing gaze that all of them has gives me chills. "I wasn't exactly putting up a show… it was that kid who did." _That_ kid? … no… he couldn't possibly mean…?

"You couldn't…"

"You're right, that Kain kid." I clenched my fists. "He was the first kid with almost no spiritual power that could see me through my disguise. So I decided to take over his body, and slowly drain his soul power." _He's really… a monster_… "But don't worry, he died happy." I glared at it. "He thinks that I'm going to give a longer life to his grandmother that way, and he died believing that."

I heard my knuckles crack.

"Poor that old woman… she still doesn't know that her grandson died already…" I wasn't going to let this thing do what he wanted to…

"You're going to pay for that…" I hissed at the Hollow, backing up towards the slightly crumbled wall to get some balance.

I tried to stand back up with the help of the wall behind me… and I was quite surprised that the wall didn't get totally destroyed by such a huge impact. Once my legs were straight and standing, the shaking in my limbs stopped, but it was pain that was taking over my body. If only I was in my shinigami form, for sure I wouldn't be in such an ugly situation now. This gigai really restricts a lot of my capabilities, and that's why I don't like it.

"Hm… you can still stand… I guess this physical body of yours isn't as fragile as a human body…" For a Hollow, this thing can really be smart. He could easily pass for an Arrancar if he could… "But too bad it's going to get eaten like your soul…" But all he talks about is only about trashing people… And I hated that.

Just the fact that knowing how he used Kobushin Kain was enough to make me hate him and put him on my black list forever, even after his death, or even if he was taken into Hell.

I glared intensely at him, wishing that I could kill with just a glare…

I felt my eyes widen as the skulled monster rushed towards me in an instant. I tried my best to avoid all his attacks as I could, feeling that my body was starting to get accustomed to my few dozen of years old reflexes. But I was also aware that this body had its limit, a limit that I was about to reach in a very short amount of time.

I somehow managed to throw him a punch in the face, but it was useless, even if I had put all my explosion of anger and strength in it. I couldn't even see a mere scratch at where I aimed, but what I can expect? I could barely make a scratch on him with my Zanpakuto… what makes me think I can injure him with a punch?

I quickly skipped behind me to avoid his next attack as I started to breathe heavily. My gigai couldn't take so much physical motions, it wasn't trained for it. I looked at where the Gikongan Candy has rolled off to, and I immediately knew that it was still too far from my reach. I looked up at the Hollow, feeling light stinging pain somewhere inside me.

I clenched my fists. Why did everything turn out like this?

*slap!*

I felt my back hit the concrete wall, a kind of stabbing pain shooting right through my body. I couldn't help but release a pain filled scream. I couldn't even recognize my own voice anymore. I was barely on my limbs, trying to keep myself looking up. I really had my guards down, and I'm paying my life for it this time.

I looked at the Hollow lift up its claws, ready to bring them down on me. I knew it would be the end, so I closed my eyes and took in a deep, last breath.

And the image of Ichigo flashed into my mind.

I waited. I waited for the eternal darkness to take over me, but I felt nothing, except that I heard a familiar sound. Chains clattering.

And I heard a deep cry of a Hollow.

For a moment, I would've thought that it was Hyokorimaru, but there was no way that I could release them in my state, plus I wasn't in my shinigami form.

I opened my eyes slowly, a blur of black and orange slowly clearing up.

I think that Ichigo was standing in front of me, crouched down in a defensive position… but I couldn't see well, because I was only facing his back, but I somehow knew that it was him… however something wasn't right. Something was wrong. His reiatsu felt utterly different. The feeling it was giving me was almost obscure, choking.

I did not know if it was because of the huge amount of reiatsu he was emanating that was making me uncomfortable or something else… but it gave me chills up my spine. And my brain kept sending messages to my body to _move_, to _run away_. But none of my limbs responded to its command. So instead, I just sat there and looked at his _fight _start.

Actually… it wasn't much of a fight. He had already cut off the tail of the hollow with his surprise attack, and it looked like it was its weakness, so now even I could have finished him off with my current condition… I think.

Somehow, my eyes kept lingering on Ichigo every time he moved. I've never really seen him in his shinigami form, but I guessed that he normally should have the attire we all wear usually. But instead, he had a black coat over his shoulder, with the end of it torn like Zaraki Kenpachi's haori. His Zanpakuto took the form of a completely black katana with a good thirty centimeters of chains attached to the hilt of it. I wasn't sure if he was in his Bankai already or not, but it certainly didn't look like the typical kind of shinigamis we see every day.

I couldn't see his face at all, but I could almost imagine how he looked now…

It didn't even take him more than a minute to kill the Hollow. Was he really that strong? Or was the Hollow just that weak? Last time, Hisagi and I couldn't even kill it with both of us… but this guy… he just got rid of it like he was cutting paper… Did he really find out its weakness so easily? Or was that shot just by luck? This iron skinned Hollow was killed by him so easily, like it was nothing…

I waited for him to turn around, thinking of thanking him for saving me.

But what I saw next was really… not what I expected…

It wasn't Ichigo's face that I saw… but a Hollow mask that slowly dissolved into thin air, slowly revealing his face behind it…

I couldn't describe the feeling I got when I saw it, but it was definitely not something I had been accounted for… I felt like I was paralyzed, I couldn't take my eyes of him, but I forced myself to look away from _it_… To turn away from what I had just seen. It wasn't the easiest thing to do at all, but I still did it. I turned around and once again, helped myself with the wall to crawl up and put my mind on one thing : exit this place immediately. I only knew one thing : I don't want to be with him alone here. I didn't care how painful it was for my body to move, but I just stuck my mind to those things, ignoring the pain that was shooting through my body every second I moved.

But my body wasn't acting like it should…

I felt something at the bottom of my throat. I felt liquids in my eyes. My body wasn't stable, I felt my limbs shake. Everything was wrong. Everything went wrong. This shouldn't be happening.

I felt something on my arm.

And I quickly shoved it away.

"Stay away!" I glared between my strands of hair at Ichigo… Was he even Ichigo? Was he just like that Hollow and had been trying to lie to me from the beginning?

I felt like my blood was boiling, but my body was trembling and cold, and it didn't make any senses to me anymore. I was glaring at him, but all I got in return was his expression of shock, sadness…

I couldn't look at him for any longer than that. I wasn't seeing the same boy I saw before today, it was totally different. He was a Hollow, he was one of them.

I helped myself up with the wall behind me, staying as far as I could from Ichigo. My mind was messed up, confused, I didn't want to deal with him now. I didn't know why it happened, how it happened, but all this was just wrong. I just want time to put this all together and think it over.

"Please leave me alone…"

I slowly walked by the wall to the exit of the mansion, despite the pain I felt all over my body. It was only when I was out there that I felt rain dripping on my clothes. And I didn't know why it hurt inside me more than anywhere on my body. It was unbearable, incomparable to the pain the Hollow gave me.

I walked as far as my legs could carry me, I wanted to run away from there, from the place where everything went wrong. I felt the rain dripping on me, stinging my skin. Even the rain felt agonizing at this moment, I've never tried feeling such stinging pain from the rain, and this was a first. When I knew that my legs couldn't carry me anywhere else anymore, I just fell on my knees, trying to shelter my arms from the rain with my hands.

I didn't care that I was in the middle of the road, or that everyone was looking at me. I just wanted to let everything out right now.

How did all this happen? Ichigo is supposed to be a Shinigami, right? Then why does he look so much like an Arrancar? Why did he have that Hollow mask? How come I feel this tugging feeling in my chest? It just made me want to cry out loud to make this feeling go away. I wanted to yell it out, yell out everything that was stuck in my throat, but my voice wouldn't come out.

I don't know how long I spent under the rain, but it was only when someone arrived that I knew the rain had stopped… or was it because he was covering me? Yes, it was. I still heard the rain outside. And it was also then that I knew it wasn't only water rolling down my face. My own tears were the reasons of my wet face too. The rain had to stop pouring on me for me to know that I was crying.

I held onto my chest tightly, afraid that the pain would make my heart tear up any second of my life. I could feel my hands shaking at the same rhythm of my heartbeat…

Even though I was crying out soundlessly, it was also the time I felt the most agonized about something, the time I cried the hardest. I felt like I was at my worst… And the more pain I felt, the less I could let that feeling out, it was as if crying wasn't enough for me to express it anymore…

The memory of that Hollow mask kept replaying and replaying in my mind, torturing me. I didn't know why it hurt so much inside me, I didn't know why I was reacting this way. I would have killed him right on the spot, but instead, I was showing this weak side of me to all the witnesses.

I felt horrible, clueless, and most of all, sad. I wanted to cry and yell everything out, only to make myself feel better…

"Why?! WHY?!"

But I didn't not feel any better.

I tried releasing my rage by punching and hitting the ground.

But I only felt worst.

So the only thing I could do now was cry and cry.

And I cried everything out.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

It hurt, it really hurt deep inside me.

Why did I feel this way…?


End file.
